FROM THE GAME FIELDS. 



117 



would hunt rabbits with a ferret ^ would 

 steal onions out of a blind huckster's cart, 

 and would save his chews of tobacco for 

 use a second time. No one but an all 

 around sneak will ever use a ferret. 



Do you suppose for a moment that your 

 wife would sleep in the yard and not kick 

 about it? Do you think she would work 

 patiently for you in the woods or fields all 

 day, and then expect nothing from you for 

 her devotion but a few kicks in the ribs? 

 Can you believe she would stand by you 

 and love you above all others, even though 

 you should becme a ragged, beery sot, 

 shunned by all mankind? Certainly not. 

 Yet a dog will do all this, and will, appar- 

 ently, extract some happiness from life. 

 In a word, there is but one advantage 

 which a wife could possibly possess over 

 a dog, and that is, she might not have quite 

 so many fleas. 



Finally, do not be a game hog. There 

 may exist lower beings than game and 

 fish hogs, but if so, they have not yet been 

 found and classified. You can, of course, 

 derive much joy and satisfaction from 

 catching a ton of fish or shooting 700 

 ducks, and then, standing behind your 

 trophies, have an amateur camera fiend 

 photograph the whole outfit; but your hap- 

 piness is likely to be short lived, for the 

 pictures may fall into the hands of a man 

 who makes it his business to wallop human 

 swine. As this chap is backed by several 

 hundred thousands of good sportsmen, he 

 rather has the bulee on the game hogs. As 

 long as he and Recreation exist, and I trust 

 they will hold on for some time yet, hunt- 

 ers would better sail shy of the hog busi- 

 ness. It doesn't pay a man to have the 

 whole race of true sportsmen sit down on 

 him and squash him so flat that even his 

 dog would fail to recognize him. 



But don't get a wife. Stick to the setter 

 pup, and let the other fellow have the wife. 

 If you should ever get tired of the dog 

 you can easily find all the wives you want, 

 for the supply is always greater than the 

 demand ; but you would better hold to the 

 dog, even though he should be possessed of 

 more fleas than are really necessary. 



A DEER HUNT IN PUGET SOUND. 



UNCLE JOE. 



In October last a party of 12, compris- 

 ing gentlemen from Norway, England, 

 New York and Tennessee, and some na- 

 tive Washingtonians, embarked at Edison 

 on the schooner Fram. We were bound 

 for Schley inlet on Dewey island, one of 

 Puget Sound archipelago. 



The trip was made partly in pursuit of 

 venison and partly for recreation ; and, 

 of course, we took Recreation with us. 

 Nothing of interest occurred during the 



voyage, save when Neptune exacted tribute 

 from 2 of our party. They paid conscien- 

 tiously, keeping nothing back. We ar- 

 rived safe at our destination, unloaded 

 our duffle, pitched our tents and built a 

 great log fire. 



After supper an election of officers for 

 the campaign was held. It resulted as fol- 

 lows : F. Flemmings, captain ; D,. Arcy, 

 lieutenant; Watkinson, orator and supe ; 

 H. Stump, secretary; C. Taylor, treasurer; 

 J. Kerr and A. Jackson, vocalists; J. Mar- 

 tin, star gazer and taker of altitudes. Your 

 Uncle Joe was favored with a multiplicity 

 of offices, being elected commissary, physi- 

 cian and historian. 



Monday morning, directly after break- 

 fast, Captain Flemmings issued orders for 

 the day. The commissary gave notice that 

 a little venison would add variety to the 

 bill of fare. Vocalist Jackman took the 

 hint and brought in a deer, thus securing 

 the medal for first blood. 



The tally for Tuesday was 2 deer, some 

 misses (the compositor is warned that if 

 he fails to use a lower case "m" the club 

 will sue him for libel) and many "ifs." 



Wednesday brought us a variety of 

 game; one deer, a brace of grouse and a 

 coon. The gentlemen from Tennessee were 

 in favor of roasting the coon. During the 

 roasting process the dogs one by one re- 

 tired from the vicinity of the fire to a dis- 

 tance exactly proportioned to their individ- 

 ual keenness of scent. We all had severe 

 colds and for awhile could not account for 

 the discourteous withdrawal of our canine 

 friends. Subsequent developments con- 

 vinced us that our coon had for a long 

 time been dieting on decayed salmon and 

 Limburger cheese. The fact was palpable ; 

 no combination of condiments would hide 

 it. That roast was condemned by an ex- 

 temporaneous board of health ; and we 

 took it away and buried it in the trackless 

 forest, where murmuring cedars shall ever 

 sentinel its lonely grave. Then, with what 

 appetities we could, we returned to our 

 entremets. 



The following day a large buck re- 

 turned with us to camp, causing: unstinted 

 comment and comparison. Friday we 

 surprised ourselves by killing 2 deer and 

 spent the evening singing "O deer, what 

 can the matter be?" 



No venison on Saturday; nothing but 

 disappointment and cuss words. Thereup- 

 on we voted to go home the next morning; 

 but morning brought no wind, so we were 

 forced to put in another day hunting. One 

 of our members, of eccentric disposition, 

 left his gun in camp, and, armed with a 

 handsaw, went in search of laurel or ma- 

 drone canes, and a nice bit of ironwood 

 to send Coquina to make a new handle 



