HOW SOME TENDERFEET HUNT BEAR. 



FRANK SEAMAN. 



Some years ago a certain Eastern man 

 went to a well known summer resort in 

 the mountains for the avowed purpose of 

 hunting bear. He put up at the best hotel, 

 employed a guide, engaged saddle horses 

 and spent several days in preparation for 

 the trip, meantime telling the other guests 

 at the house what a mighty hunter he was, 

 how many wild animals he had slain, how 

 anxious he was to meet a big grizzly and 

 how he would annihilate him when he did 

 meet him. 



At intervals, the hunter would bring 

 down a gun, a revolver, a knife, a belt of 

 cartridges or some other item of his outfit, 

 show it to the loiterers, explain to them 

 how he was going to use it when he met 

 the bear, and entertain them with stories 

 of his hunting exploits, in other regions. 



Finally, the morning of the eventful day 

 dawned. The mighty hunter appeared 

 early on the veranda, clad in hunting togs 

 and armed to the teeth. In due time his 

 guide came, riding one horse and lead- 

 ing another. The hunter mounted and pro- 

 ceeded to pose for some of the kodakers on 

 the balcony. He was a fearful and won- 

 derful sight. He was a short, stout man, 

 and when in the saddle looked nearly as 

 big one way as the other. He wore a suit 

 of brand new, stiff brown canvas, includ- 

 ing a fore and aft cap, from beneath which 

 his bushy gray hair protruded slightly. He 

 had one rifle in a holster under his right 

 leg, and another slung over his back by a 

 strap. He wore a belt outside his short 

 hunting coat, some 4 inches wide and filled 

 from end to end with long cartridges. On 

 this belt hung 2 revolvers and a big knife. 

 He wore heavy leather hunting boots that 

 came above his knees, and that were laced 

 in front and on the sides. On these he 

 wore big spurs, and in his hand he carried 

 a saucy looking quirt. Finally, after hav- 

 ing displayed himself to the gaze of the 

 admiring crowd for what he deemed a suf- 

 ficient length of time, he and his guide rode 

 away up a mountain trail. 



They had gone 3 or 4 miles when the 

 guide saw in the trail the track of a large 

 grizzly. Without mentioning the fact to 

 the hunter, he dropped out and said to his 

 patron, 



"You'd better ride ahead now. We are 

 in the bear country and you are likely to 

 get a shot anywhere along here." 



The hunter touched his cayuse with the 

 spur and moved forward. The guide said 

 he would follow at a little distance, so that 

 the hunter might have all the better oppor- 

 tunity to find game. 



The guide was riding leisurely along, 

 some 50 yards behind his modern Don 

 Quixote, when all at once he heard a yell 

 and the clatter of hoofs. He guessed the 

 cause and turned out of the trail. 



There was a mighty crashing of brush 

 and rattling of rocks, a succession of yells 

 which sounded like "Police ! Help ! Mur- 

 der !" and various other startling ejacula- 

 tions. In an instant the mighty bear hunt- 

 er came down the trail at breakneck speed, 

 with his eyes fairly sticking out. He 

 passed the guide, apparently without see- 

 ing him, and went out of sight in a flash, 

 the horse hitting only the high places. 



The guide pursued the fleeing appari- 

 tion and after riding a mile or 2 overtook 

 his employer. The former had by that 

 time somewhat recovered from the stam- 

 pede, had slowed down to a walk and was 

 looking back. When the guide overtook 

 him and asked what was the trouble, a 

 storm of curses and imprecations broke 

 fcrth. 



"You blankety blank idiot ! You imp of 

 Satan ! You vile conspirator ! You infer- 

 nal jailbird ! What do you mean by try- 

 ing to get me killed? You ought to be 

 shot for taking a man into such a death 

 trap as that !" 



The guide remonstrated with the hunter 

 and asked him to explain. 



"Why, you blithering idiot, didn't you 

 see him?" 



"See what?" 



"The bear." 



"No. Where was any bear?" 



"Why, up there. He rose up in the trail 

 not 30 feet from me, and I'd take my oath 

 he was 12 feet high, 4 feet wide and you 

 are liable to get some man killed by tak- 

 ing him into such a country as that, and I 

 shall report you to the police as soon as 

 we get to the hotel." 



Then the hunter put spurs to his horse 

 again and the next the guide saw of him 

 was when he called at the hotel to ask for 

 his pay. 



The Nimrod had cooled off by that time 

 and was busy packing his guns, ammuni- 

 tion and hunting togs into his trunks. He 

 said he had found all the bear he wanted, 

 and took the next train for the East. 



A certain Englishman came to America, 

 went West and got off the train at Red 

 Dog. He told the people he had come out 

 to hunt bear, especially grizzlies. He 

 had killed several other kinds of big game, 

 but had never killed a bear and that was 

 what he aspired to do now. Several loung- 



