RECREATION. 



XXXI 



THE SCHUTZENPIFFLER GUN. 



I WAS THERE. 



Have you seen the new concern 

 They are cracking up so high? 



It is called the deadly automatic gun; 

 And it's said 'twill, slay all things 

 On the earth that flies on wings — 



If it goes, 'twill spoil all honest sportsmen's 

 fun. 



Blarney Pete, down at the club, 

 Had one — cuss the measly thing ! 

 And it scattered shot promiscuous, without 

 doubt ; 

 .But the boys made such a kick 

 That it made the owner sick, 

 Then that blooming gun was promptly 

 voted out. 



But its owner took his stand, 

 To see how the gun would shoot, 



While 600 feet away a friend kept score. 

 When the first shell was thrown out 

 Blarney made a frightened scoot, 



Shedding language rude, and sundry drops 

 of gore. 



When the gun ejects a shell 

 It will- fly a mile or more, 

 And the piece kicks like a vet'ran army 

 mule; 

 It will make your shoulder blue, 

 While your feelings will be sore 

 When you hear some one remark that you're 

 a fool. 



Well, that gun grew mighty hot, 

 And the front sight slid away — 

 Melted right down like a chunk of greasy 

 dough. 

 Automatics do not take, 

 And I heard a fellow say, 

 "If they grew on bushes, they might stay 

 and grow." 



The man behind, the man behind, 



He's the biggest fool that you'll ever find; 



When you see an auto gun, 



Get in front and take a run, 

 But never, never be the man behind. 



"Cut Out" 

 Golds, Grip, Headache 



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The Orangeine Chemical Co., 15 Michigan Ave., Chicago 



"Old Painter," said the humorist, "had 

 a pair o' twins named Dan and Abe. They 

 were as near alike as 2 gallon jugs. The 

 only difference was that Dan had sound 

 teeth and Abe he'd lost most o' his out o' 

 the front part of his face." 



"The only way to know which was which 

 was to stick your finger in Abe's mouth. 

 If he bit ye it was Dan." — Youth's Com- 

 panion. 



Cyril: You may spurn me, cruel one; 

 but remember, I shall not always be a 

 clerk at $9 a week ! 



Marie: That's just the trouble. You 

 may lose your job at any time. — Chicago 

 Daily News. 



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 Razor steel jacliknifr, 2 

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MAI1EK & GROSH CO. 

 74 A Street Toledo, Ohio 



