132 Baddoni and his Works. [No. 3, 



Dissatisfied as he was with the religious innovations spreading at 

 Court, poverty compelled him to remain with the emperor. But in 

 989, he again absented himself ; and if it had not been for Abulfazl 

 and Khwajah Nizamuddin Ahmad, the historian, he would have been 

 dismissed. 'Abdul Qadir says (p. 296J— " On the fifth Zi Qa'dah, 

 989, His Majesty returned from Kabul to Agrah. 1 had been absent 

 from Court, and had stayed for a whole year at Basawar, fettered by 

 a deep attachment fta'alluq i khatire \izimj a clear dispensation 

 (mazliare tdm) of the Almighty. Little caring for the world, I passed 

 my time in spiritual independence ; but I suffered much grief and 

 sorrow. [This is the love affair alluded to on p. 124.] At last, on 

 the sixth of the same month, I went to Fathpur and paid my respects, 

 when His Majesty asked Abulfazl why I had not accompanied him 

 to the Panjab." " He belongs," said Abulfazl, " to the grant- 

 holders," and I was let off. But before this, when the emperor was- 

 in Kabul, he asked one day <^adr Jahan to present all grantholders 

 present in the camp, and draw up a list of such as were absent. 

 When my name was read out among the absentees, Khwajah Nizam- 

 uddin Ahmad, with whom the year before I had become very intimate, 

 very kindly reported me sick, which counted as present. And in 

 reality, attendance on a person, before whom one stands in hope and 

 fear, is worse than sickness. But the Khwajah wrote me letter after 

 letter, asking me to go at least as far as Labor to meet his Majesty, 

 as I had been otherwise neglectful ; and he reminded me that it was 

 important to adhere to the formalities of the world. But an hour 

 spent with the beloved appeared to me better than eternal life. What 

 did I care about wisdom of going the ways of the world, and the 

 interest and the disadvantage of others ? I put my affairs into the 

 hands of God ; for after all, He does what He wishes. 

 Leave all thy cares to God, and live happy, 

 If thy accuser has no mercy, He will have compassion. 



* * * And even now [1004], after seventeen years, the remem- 

 brance of his lovely shape has not vanished from my heart. I cry as- 

 often as I think of him. Would that I had died in the wretchedness of 

 my love grief I" 



In the meantime, Akbar's Divine Faith' (din i ildhi) had made 

 much progress, and 'Abdul Qadir who had no longer to lead pray- 



