1893 LETTEES ON HIS ILLNESS 347 



ordered to town by the doctors on the very day that 

 you were in Oxford. And they must have been 

 melancholy days for both Mrs. Huxley and yourself. 1 



I saw Andrew Clark, Lauder Brunton, and Hugh- 

 lings Jackson. They all agreed that I still have a 

 decent chance of living for an indefinite number of 

 years, provided that in all things I lead the life of a 

 tortoise. To tell the truth, I should not deem the 

 game worth the candle were it not for my wife and 

 five sons. But in view of them I must obey orders. 



As for ' General Death,' I think it must be easier 

 to withstand his boast of Veni, vidi, vici, if in reply 

 one can say, Vixi. With such a record as yours, and 

 with all your family doing so well, the ' order to 

 march ' need not be quite so bitter. 



But I have derived one benefit from my full-dress 

 rehearsal of the final act (literally ' full dress,' by the 

 way, as it was after dinner that I was struck down . . .) ; 

 and this is the certain knowledge of being at any 

 time able to repeat the last words of Darwin : ' I am 

 not in the least afraid to die.' I remember many 

 years ago, in your house at St. John's Wood, cordially 

 agreeing with the feelings you then expressed, viz., 

 that the prospect of death filled you with a horror 

 unspeakable. ' Whether or not nature abhors a va- 

 cuum,' you added, ' I know that the soul of man does.' 

 But illness seems to make a vast difference in this 

 respect. 



Another benefit I have gained is an increase of 

 admiration for to a limitless extent. I will 



1 Mr. and Mrs. Huxley had come to Oxford in order to attend the 

 funeral of the Master of Balliol. 



