

KIDD’S OWN JOURNAL. 
49 

PRACTICAL JOKES. 

JOKING, when not used upon improper matter, in an 
unfit manner, with excessive measure, at undue season, 
or to e il purpose—may be allowed. But all practical 
jokes, as they are called, should be studiously avoided, as 
they too often leave cause for lasting regret. 
Barrow. 

HERE ARE SO MANY ACTS 
OF FOLLY COMMITTED at 
this season, in the form of 
“practical jokes,’ that we 
feel it an act of duty to im- 
} press something on the 
memory connected therewith, 
that wil not soon be forgotten. Many a 
person has, by one act of inconsiderate rash- 
ness, done that which a whole lifetime could 
not afterwards atonefor. Let the subjoined, 
taken from the Memoirs of Cassanova de 
Steingalt, operate as a warning to all intend- 
ing offenders. 
Towards the end of autumn, Fabrius in- 
troduced me to a very amiable and well- 
informed family, whose residence was in the 
country at a place called Zero. Our amuse- 
ments here were playing billiards, talking to 
the ladies, and mystifying each other. This 
last amusement was sometimes carried alittle 
too far; but it was considered a want of 
heroism to evince any ill-humor, however 
severe the ordeal might be. You were ex- 
pected to take the thing in good part, or sub- 
mit to be looked upon as a dolt. Sometimes 
on getting into bed, it gave way beneath you, 
or your slumbers were disturbed by some 
sheeted ghost glidmg into your apartment ; 
at other times, the ladies were presented with 
comfits or sweetmeats, the inevitable effects 
of which may be more easily imagined than 
told. As for me, I was not only rich in in- 
ventions of this nature, but showed myself 
possessed of the most inexhaustible patience 
under the tricks played off upon me, until I 
became a victim of one which inspired me 
with the most ardent desire for vengeance. 
We often directed our walks towards a farm 
which was about half a league distant. The 
way to this farm was crossed by a wide ditch, 
over which was thrown a strong plank that 
served as a bridge. I generally passed first 
over this narrow bridge, to encourage the 
ladies and engage them to follow me. One 
fine day I took the lead of the company as 
usual, when, on reaching the middle of the 
plank, it suddenly gave way, and fell with 
me into the ditch. There was not, it must 
be confessed, a drop of water in it ; but, what 
was worse, there was a considerable depth of 
black fetid mud. Although embalmed in 
this up to the ears, I put on a good counte- 
nance and joined in the general laugh that 
accompanied my fall. 
But this was not to be of long duration, for 
all the company agreed that the trick was 
Vor by. 


by far too severe aone. Some of the neigh- 
boring peasantry were sent for, who drew me 
out of the mire ina most deplorable state; 
my summer suit, embroidered in gold, lace 
frills and ruffles, and silk stockings, were com- 
pletely spoiled. I pretended to make light 
of all this, laughing at the adventure, but 
determined in my own mind to take ven- 
geance, if possible, forso unworthy a jest. In 
order to discover the author, it became neces- 
sary to affect the most complete indifference. 
On being taken back to the house, I was 
kindly accommodated with linen and clothes, 
I had brought no supply with me, as I had in- 
tended to remain only twenty-four hours. 
The next morning I went to town, but re- 
turned in the evening, and joined the com- 
pany as if nothing had happened. Fabrius, 
who viewed the thing inthe same light as I 
do, told me it would be impossible to discover 
the author of this trick. But by promising 
aducat to a peasant girl, if she would tell 
me who sawed the plank, I succeeded. She 
pointed me out a young man, whose tongue 
I untied with another ducat, accompanied by 
menaces. He confessed to me that he acted 
under the direction of a Mr. Demetrius, a 
Greek merchant, a man between forty-five 
and fifty years of age, of an agreeable and 
jovial disposition, on whom the only mysti- 
fication I had ever played off was outrival- 
ling him in the good graces of Madame de 
K—’s femme-de-chambre, to whom he had 
taken a liking. 
In the whole course of my life I never 
fatigued my brain so much as on this occa- 
sion, in endeavoring to invent some trick 
with which to plague this much-hated Greek. 
I was desirous that it should be at least as 
extraordinary and disagreeable as the one he | 
had served me. The more I thought on the 
subject, the less likely I seemed to be to ob- 
tainthe object of my wishes ; till a passing 
funeral suggested an idea to me that I lost 
no time in executing. Towards midnight I re- 
‘paired alone, armed with a cutlass, to the 
churchyard. 
Here [ disinterred a newly-buried body, and 
with some difficulty, cut off the arm at the 
shoulder-joint. After replacing the body in 
the earth, Lreturned with the dead man’s arm, 
and got unperceived to myroom. ‘The next 
night I quitted the company after supper ; 
and taking with me the dead arm, I 
stole into the Greek’s room, and concealed 
myself under his bed. A quarter of an hour 
afterwards, my Greek entered his room, un- 
dressed himself, put out the light, and got 
into bed. When I supposed he was asleep, 
I gently drew the quilt half off. He awoke 
and said, laughing, ‘ Get away with you, 
whoever you may be, for I do not believe in 
ghosts.” He then drewup the quilt, and 
turned again to sleep. 


