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KIDD’S OWN JOURNAL. 

the simple airs by meretricious ‘ ornament !” 
She comes of a good school; and never fails to 
open wide her smiling mouth, when needful to 
eive full effect to the author’s meaning. A true 
“Miss Paton” is she, in this sensible matter. 
What funny thoughts sometimes pass through 
one’s mind! We could not look at Josephine 
Brougham and her arch sister, in their becoming 
dresses and playful bearing, without thinking 
of Christmas—and also, of something mysteriously 
“hinted at’ (in connection with certain fondly- 
cherished wild berries) in our Mirror of the 
Months (ante p. 295). Two such “Swans” 
would sing some lovely Christmas Carols! They 
* would be ‘* Waits” worth listening to. Ever since 
we heard Josephine Brougham warble Kathleen 
Mavourneen, our head has been filled with little 
else.* We doso love these simple melodies! By 
the way—the pianoforte engaged here, appeared 
as if it had an attack of cholera. It groaned audibly 
and horribly. Nor could the good-tempered efforts 
of Miss EK. Brougham and Miss Ward, united, 
“draw it out.” A more obstinate ‘‘ performer” 
never surely fell to the lot of any “manager 
in distress!’”’—W. K. 

The Prevailing Opinions concerning “ Beauty.” 
—What different ideas are formed, my dear sir, in 
different nations concerning the beauty of the 
human shape and countenance! A fair complexion 
is a shocking deformity on the coast of Guinea ; 
thick lips and a flat nose are a beauty. In some 
nations, long ears that hang down upon the 
shoulders are the objects of universal admiration. 
In China, if a lady’s foot is so large as to be fit to 
* Since this Notice was in type, another Con- 
cert has been given at Albion Hall: at which, 
among others present as vocal performers, was | 
our earliest friend, Miss Poors; also the two Miss 
Brovueuams. We were truly pleased once again 
to hear the voice ‘so familiar to the ear” of our 
younger days. Chaste as ever, sweet, melodious, 
and purely natural,—were the well-known 
strains we listened to; and to say that Miss PooLe 
was what she ever has been, is the highest com- 
pliment we can pay her. We seemed to greet 
her as she entered, as the friend of our youth ; for 
she has sent us home “‘ happy,” times out of num- 
ber. Such are the charms of real music! We 
had, on this occasion, an opportunity of hearing 
the Misses BrovucHam sing together. (Miss 
E. Brougham had so severe a cold on her 
former appearance, that she presided at the piano 
only). ‘This enables us to pay both sisters the 
well-merited compliment of their being—not only 
excellent musicians and “ sweet singers,” but 
alike in form, figure, and vivacity ; in every sense 
of the words—‘‘a pretty pair of White Swans.” 
Not to be too severe on the Concert of which we 
are speaking, we feel bound to say that—but for 
Miss Poole, the Misses Brougham, Miss Hodson, 
and Mr. J. W. Sharp, the whole affair was below 
contempt. What ever was Mr. A. R. Read 
thinking about, when he made “so much ado 
aboutnothing?” His next‘‘ grand annual Concert” 
must be better, or he will lose caste. We never 
paid twelve shillings with less satisfaction. All 
our party were of one mind in this matter. It was 
‘“ slow” indeed ! 
walk upon, she is regarded as a monster of ugliness. 
Some of the savage nations of North America tie 
four boards round the heads of their children, and 
thus squeeze them, while the bones are tender 
and grisly, into a form that is quite unnatural. 
[The Aztec Children, as an example.] Huro- 
peans are astonished at the “absurd barbarity ” 
of this practice, to which some missionaries have 
imputed the singular stupidity of those nations 
among whom it prevails. But when they condemn 
those “savages,” they do not reflect that the 
ladies in England have been devoted for the last 
half-century, sleeping and waking, to the habit of 
deforming themselves in every possible way,—so 
that their Divine origin might remain a mystery. 
They have nearly accomplished this. They are of 
allimaginable shapes and sizes,—very little insides, 
but very large outsides. You would sometimes 
(if you “ naturally” inclined towards the sex,) try 
to get near them. You would, I say,—but cannot. 
There is an impassable barrier between you. A 
regular ‘Jack inthe Green” swings round at your 
approach, and a scream proclaims that “ you must 
not touch.” What with pins, pegs, “palpable 
facts,” hoops, roundabouts, and internal machinery 
which. I dare only hint at (lest there should be a 
screw loose), our “ English beauties”’ cut a singular 
‘“fioure ’” indeed! ‘Then their head,—perhaps 
there is “nothing” in that. But there is some- 
thing in their face,—I love to be face-tious. There 
is ws triplex there. Let. them construe this, and 
not put a wrong construction on it. Ours is the 
“Ace of Brass.” This will furnish a cue. Oh 
that you, and J, and Areus, and Arcuer, could 
fairly ‘bonnet ” our English women! Such 
revenge would go half-way towards making them 
look “‘ modest,”’ and we should feel all the happier. 
You once said, that if our women were to ‘‘assume 
a virtue if they had it not,” such deception would, | 
under circumstances, be pardonable. “ Aye ; 
marry would it.” We should then not know our 
misery, but charitably judge from appearances. 
If to walk through London streets, and see the 
‘‘yerformers ”’ there in their present dress and 
undress, be a curiosity—what is it, my dear sir, to 
note the ‘‘-winter preparations” for their disfigure- 
ment in the windows of Williams, Sowerby, 
Hodge, Sykes, and other wide-awake Miss-fitters ? 
I positively groaned with agony the other day (as 
I fled through Oxford and Regent Streets), to con- 
template what is coming upon us (or upon some 
one else!) in the way of startling novelties. 
Well, let us wait. We four shall be ready for a 
pounce upon the hideous enemy. ‘‘ War” is the 
ery abroad. There shall soon be war here. 
Shame shall either hide her head, or the turf shall 
cover all our bones. Eh? [Hurrah, Waxrer!] 
As for the men-monkeys, let them go on. ‘They 
will assuredly get shot by the hundred some. day, 
if they venture too near our cockney sportsmen. 
The latter would be acquitted even of man- 
slaughter, should they tell the judge they were 
shooting at baboons.* I shall be in town again 

* To call our race ‘‘ men,” were assuredly a 
misnomer. From the highest to the lowest, they 
seem to out-rival each other in acts of bestiality. 
Their faces are monkey-faces, exact ; and their 
ensemble is becoming everything but human. 
Where will this end ?—Ep. K. J. 



