THE TRAINING OF OUR GIRLS 
By Elizabeth Atwood 
Photographs by Jessie Tarbox Beals 
csommog]| W many mothers are training their girls 
for the cares and responsibilities of life? 
I do not mean just caring for them, loving 
them to their injury by keeping all responsi- 
bilities out of their lives, but, by wise guid- 
ance teaching them how to meet such re- 
sponsibilities, preparing them for that which is as sure to 
come as that we shall eat three times a day. 
To begin with, what are you doing to create permanent 
‘“Tdeals” for your daughters to strive for? Is your daughter 
finding sympathy and understanding in you, or does she have 
sympathetic friends outside, gradually drawing her away 
from you? Are you her comrade and confidante? Are 
you living your own life separated from your girls—and 
your boys too? ‘These are questions each mother should 
ask herself, and then have a care that her life is such that 
they may be answered well. 
The training of our girls is a very serious matter, and 
calls for self-training and self-examination on the part of 
each and every mother. Mothers are the examples which 
always influence even the baby. Right here is a large re- 
sponsibility. Do you discuss your neighbor’s affair? Re- 
member that just so will your children do. Are you self- 
ish? Then selfishness will influence your girls. Are you 
thoughtful, generous and sympathetic? So will it be re- 
turned to you. Oh, this mother business is a great one, 
calling for all the skill and love and wisdom you can 
accumulate. 
We all know the courteous boy and girl, but do we 
know many such? Now just what is courtesy? Nothing but 
gentle, kind thoughts for all, which are bound to show in 
kind acts. Just think of how much the face reflects kind 
thoughts and the desire to serve others, and out of sheer 
vanity one would suppose girls would practice with in- 
creasing regularity until this love expression would be 
habitual. The ideal girl could not be rude. Too few 
show the kind smile that helps, too few reach out the strong 
hand and with courteous greeting make even the stranger 
feel at home. 
But mothers must lead the way. Not in selfish absorp- 
tion of their own particular loved one, who, of course can 
do no wrong, but in watchful care weeding out her own 
selfish tendencies (we all have them), putting in whole arm- 
fuls of love, truth and honesty, to build up their character. 
This is the ideal mother’s task in hand. She must train 
herself if she would wisely train her girls. She must make 
her own “Ideals” worth her striving, before she is ready 
to lead her girls upward. 
Discretion, I honestly believe is an ‘‘Ideal.” 
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How few 
AMERICAN HOMES AND GARDENS 
HELPS TO THE 
HOUSEWIFE 
TABLE AND HOUSEHOLD SUGGESTIONS OF INTER- 
EST TO EVERY HOUSEKEEPER AND HOUSEWIFE 
August, 1912 
A mother who 
recognizes this is a long way on the road toward peace. 
Someone once said: ‘“‘What we never say or write will never 
possess the discretion which is really tact. 
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cause us regret.’ ‘The discreet girl will never be over-smart 
in her talk, lavish in money-spending, never argues, never 
criticizes, and, if added to this quality of discretion she is 
lovingly sympathetic, she is surely cultivating an “Ideal” 
well worth striving for. ; 
Manners, too, become an “Ideal” to work for. Of 
course manners, to a certain extent are the reflection of 
what is inside, but surely capable of development. Carry- 
ing oneself with nose high in the air, is not indicative of 
superiority. In the hills of Vermont, I knew the greatest 
and sweetest of little ladies, who would have graced any 
court, and who brought joy and peace to any home she 
visited. She never studied any rules of etiquette, I am 
safe in saying, yet she practiced them all. 
And what made her the lady? Just this, she was uni- 
formly quiet and gentle. Her voice, like Annie Laurie’s 
was low and sweet. She always had a kind word for every- 
body, and a smile which would lift your profoundest gloom, 
more than that, you felt rebuked for being gloomy in this 
beautiful world. I have never met another quite like her. 
This is my understanding of her: First of all she felt a 
generous, great love for all humanity, and then she lived it. 
Her life was lived according to the Golden Rule, literally 
and truly. She was gentle because she had only the gentlest 
of thoughts for all. 
Criticism is rampant in this age, and is death to love in 
its broadest sense. Cultivate generosity of thought in your 
girls—anyone can be generous in gifts—it will surely pro- 
duce gentleness of manner. 
The cultivation of the voice is also necessary. ‘There 
are more hard voices now than soft and musical ones. 
There is more attention paid to singing than to talking; 
more attention to vocal gymnastics than to a well-modu- 
lated every-day and to-be-lived-with voice. Loud and noisy 
laughter is too often heard. 
Loud voices do not mark the lady anywhere, least of 
all in public places. If girls only knew how much the 
quiet ones are admired there would be an age of quiet 
girls instead of the noisy ones demanding attention every- 
where. Do not train for the appearance only of a lady, 
but like my friend in the hills, be one, with love and truth 
in your heart, feel and live like one, and your appearance 
and manner will reflect the glory. Is this not an “Ideal” 
worth striving for? 
“The world delights in sunny people,” but most of all 
in sunny girls. It is upon the shoulders of the mothers 
that this responsibility lies, for it is not all temperament. 
The mother, first of all must set the example of a cheerful 
countenance, even if all the irritating things of the house 
combine against her. If mother is snarly and looses her 
