AMERICAN 
August, 1912 
HOMES AND 
GARDENS 299 
temper easily when her girl reaches maturity she will, very 
likely, be just what her mother has been in these respects. 
The girl who is constantly analyzing the motives of 
others, and her own actions as well, of a necessity is selfish. 
It may be because she is selfish that she is so critical. The 
two are closely interwoven, and this combination does not 
make the sunny girl. These are habits hard to get rid of 
and should be nipped in the bud. The woman who has 
this habit of criticism would hardly be charming, and that 
is what we wish our girls to train for. Do not let the 
habit of distrust grow in your girls, either of others or of 
herself. This too, is ‘‘Ideal.”’ 
Help your girls to a proper appreciation of themselves, 
not to make them vain, but to rid them of self-conscious- 
ness. Let them know that you see their good points of 
looks and that -you appreciate their efforts, and you will 
not have the regrets to carry that I have. I always told 
my first children that if I did not criticise or correct they 
might be sure I was pleased. I never praised for that might 
lessen effort. Now I believe that it would stimulate effort. 
I never told them of their good points in appearance for 
fear of creating vain thoughts. I humbly apologize to 
those children of long ago, but that will not bring back 
lost opportunities for giving well-merited pleasure, for we 
do love to be appreciated. They say I am spoiling these 
other children! 
Do not let your girl get the idea into her head that any 
work of the house is petty. If she does get it, help her 
to get rid of it at once. All of the ideals of life have a 
common center in the home. Can any part of the home- 
creation, even the dishwashing, have anything ‘“‘petty”’ in it? 
When an ambitious woman is filled with real and true am- 
bition she regards every act of the day as a stepping stone 
toward a greater and more important work. Discontent too 
often masquerades under the guise of ambition, luring its 
victim and blinding the eyes. 
I think I have seen more discontent in the kitchen than 
anywhere else. Nearly every girl dislikes the daily routine 
of the kitchen, some like to do the pretty work of cake, 
candy and desserts. Yet, if a meal should be left out, and 
the dishes left undone those girls as well as the family 
would be disqualified for the larger things aspired to. Does 
not this prove how important a part of life is this work 
which some call “‘petty’’? 
To every woman who makes each little thing about the 
home of sufficient importance to lift it out of the feeling 
that such work is “petty,” will come the larger opportunity, 
for she, her own little self, will have created it. Unless 
An attractive after-dinner coffee set and a tea set of good design 
one can prove equal to the smaller duties how can one hope 
to master more important ones? Making the home attrac- 
tive certainly is a great “Ideal,” and everyone knows that 
‘“The way to a man’s heart is by way of the stomach.” 
But the gravest responsibility of all the many responsi- 
bilities which the earnest mother has to bear and qualify 
for, to set the example for, is that of marriage. This 
work should begin in infancy. Health, strength, a proper 
regard for the body, must be all made into ‘“‘Ideals’”’ to 
work and strive for. Motherly sympathy at the crucial 
age is the girl’s right, yet how often these girl children 
must go through this period unhelped save by injudicious 
help from outside. 
“Mother” with all that the dear title implies should 
give her girl-child the knowledge which protects. Happy 
are the girls and boys whose parents understand and appre- 
ciate the most critical periods of their lives, and whose 
sympathies make them friends of all; who delight in hear- 
ing their confidences and encourage the coming together 
of the young people in homes where the games are most 
enjoyable that are shared by the parents. ‘The mother 
should make her daughter understand that real love does 
not come for the seeking, but will come upon her unawares, 
and she must be ready and worthy of the honor. It comes 
because we go on working, making ourselves worthy of it, 
then it suddenly appears before us when we least expect it. 
It does not come to the woman who is seeking selfishly 
for all she can get out of life. 
Without this true and holy love, a girl’s life is in danger 
of becoming a failure. So it is in the mother’s power to 
avert such a failure, if she can make home so attractive, 
herself so good a comrade, that her girls are held by the 
attraction of home-love until years of discretion are reached. 
A suggestion for a simple table decoration. Clover and ferns 
