Page Twenty-seven 



Lady, to Attonclaut: " How do you ^2,0 upstairs? " 

 Attendant: "Ono step after another, ma'am." 



From the Boston TrdNscript: 



A portly Dutch woman apphed at the post office for a mone.y order 

 to send to her son in the Far East. She told the clerk she had left her 

 son's letter at home, but said he was "some place out by China, dot 

 sounds like der noise an automobile makes." 



The clerk smiled, and tvu'ning to another nearby, asked: 'AVhat 

 kind of a noise does an automobile make, Joe?" 



''Honk, honk," the other suggested. 



"Dot's it!" exclaimed the woman, her face brightening. "Honk 

 honk, dot's der place." 



So the clerk made the order payable at Hongkong, and the woman 

 went away happy. 



Only a few months ago we heard on every hand of long waiting lists 

 for various commodities. Manufacturers could not fill their orders, but 

 kept customers w^aiting weeks or months, Now^ things are different. 

 Recently a retailer wired to his manufacturer: 



"Kindly cancel all our outstanding orders at once." 



The answer came back promptly : 



" Impossible. You must wait your turn. " 



The Frenchman did not like the look of the barking dog barring his 

 way. 



" Don't be afraid of him," said the host. " You know the proverb — • 

 'barking dogs never bite.' " 



"Ah, yes," said the Frenchman, still hesitating. "I know ze pro- 

 verbe, you know^ ze proverbe; but ze dog — does he know^ ze proverbe?' ' 



From an English paper : 



"California's earthquakes chiefly come in dry years. This is as 

 good an argument as any we have heard against prohibition." 



Of Course 

 "What does a golf ball do at the end of a drive?" 

 "It stops and looks round." 



