Page Eighteen 



The origin of the bagpipe was Ijeing discussed. This was Pat's 

 theory: that the Irish invented the bag|)ii)e and sold it to the Soots for a 

 joke, and the Scots have never seen the joke. 



One of our attendants asked another: "Have you seen Tobin?" 

 "I haven't laid eyes on him this mornin' at all, at all," was the 

 answer. 



"Are you sure?" 



"Sure I'm sure." 



The first man started off, but on second thought returned. 



"You know Tobin, don't you?" 



"That I do not." 



"I give you my word, Madam," declared the seedy-looking man to 

 the kind-looking lady, "there was a time when I rode in my own car- 

 riage." 



"How^ terrible that you should be reduced to such circumstances!" 

 exclaimed the lady as she placed a bill in his outstretched hand. 



"Yes, Madam," replied the man, raising his hat and turning away. 

 "That was forty years ago. I was a baljy, then." 



Friend : "Don't you find writing a thankless task? " 

 Poet: "On the contrary, everything I write is returned to me with 

 thanks." 



In the unrevised version of an Indian translation of the Bible, Dr. 

 Goddard tells us, the passage from Exodus, reading, in English: "And 

 Israel died and they embalmed him after the manner of the Egyptians," 

 was rendered : "And Israel died and they cut him up and hung him on a 

 pole in strips to dry." 



The boy in the end .seat, last row, of the class in food chemistry was 

 wrapped in reverie. 



"Willie," called the irritated teacher, suddenly, "name three articles 

 that contain starch." 



Willie, thus rudely startled, gasped, gulped, and replied: "Two 

 cuffs and a collar." 



L. M. wants to know if R. W. T. has definitely decided to keep really 

 valuable books in his waste-basket. 



