Pag^e Thirty-eight 



I 



Two lawyers before a country justice recenth^ fell into a wrangle. 

 At last one of the disputants, losing control of his temper, exclaimed to 

 the other: 



"Jim Rogers, you're the l)iggest fool I ever set eyes upon!" 



The justice pounded his desk, and called loudly: 



"Order! Order! You seem to forget that I am here!" 



Pat (at the telephone) — "Is this the feed store?" 



('lerk — "Yes." 



Pat — "Well, then, send me up a bushel of oats and a bale of hay." 



Clerk — "Certainly. Who is it for?" 



Pat — "Come, now, don't get gay; it's for the horse, of course." 



As the trolley car stopped, an old lady, not accustomed ta traveling, 

 called to the conductor: 



" Conductor, what door shall I get out by? " 



"Either door, Madam," graciously answered the conductor. "The 

 car stops at both ends." 



In Front of the Sea-Elephant Group 

 1st young lady : " Good Heavens, are those whales? " 

 2nd young lady: "Oh, no! They're sharks." 



Visitor, with small children, in front of the Indian cradles: "See, 

 children, those are what the Indians wear on their feet." 



The other day a young lady stepped up to an attendant on the second 

 floor of the Museum, and asked: 



"Would you tell me where the Museum is?" 



"Good Heavens!" he replied in astonishment. "It's all over the 

 place." 



"Oh, thank you," she said. ' " You see, I'm a stranger in the city." 



Mistress: "Have you given the goldfish fresh water, Mary?" 

 Mary: "No, minn. They ain't finished the water I give 'em the 

 other dav." 



