Page Thirty 



'For Amusement Rendered to Citizens of Village and Adjacent 

 Territory, so many Dollars. Payable Instantly.' 



Doubtless if we move about much over here the travelling theatres will 

 realize they have a formidable rival. I do not believe that many of them 

 can draw crowds as large as the ones that collect to watch us receive and 

 inject 'hamas' and 'yi';s.'" 



The tea-kettle, although up to its neck in hot ivater. keeps on sinffing. 



4 



GRIN AND BEAR IT 



"Pat, phwat do they be manin', annyways, by this here talk of 

 ' strategic warfare? 



''Sure, that's warfare where ye don't let the innemy know ye're 

 out of amminition, but keep right on firin'." 



"I am collecting for the poor. ]\Iay I ask what you do with your 

 old clothes?" 



"1 hang them up carefully at night; and in the morning I put them 

 on again." 



Voice over the telephone: " Is this the store-room?" 



Mr. Wilde: "Yes." 



Voice over the tele])hone: "^^'ill you ])lease send me up a 

 thermometer?" 



Mr. Wilde: "\\'e have no thermometers." 



Voice over the telei)h()nc: "'No thermometers? Well, then, .send 

 me up a whi.skbroom." 



One of the men on our scientific staff, after riding for some distance 

 on a train, was requested by the conductor to show his ticket. He made 

 careful search, but was unable to find it. 



"That's alright," .said the conductor. "I'll be through here again 

 after the re.xt station." 



