Page Thirty-three 



A (liill scMiicant was instructing recruits, l)ut one of thciu scomod 

 incai)al)lc of uiulorstanding the siin])lest orders. 



"What's your name?" shouted the sergeant. 



"Casey, sor." 



"Well, Casey, did you ever drive a mule?" 



"Yes, sor." 



"What did you say when you wanted him to stop?" 



"Whoa!" 



The sergeant turned away and began once more drilling the squad. 

 After the man had advanced a dozen yards, he bawled out: "Squad, halt! 

 Whoa, Casey!" 



"Did your brother keej) cool when he found out there was a burglar 

 in the house?" 



"Cool! I should say so! Why, his teeth fairly chattered." 



"1 tried hard to prevent him from reading any encouragement in 

 my face." 



" I dare say he read between the lines." 



The Idealist: "The world wants only three things: bread, brother- 

 hood and beauty." 



The Cynic: "And only one of them is really kneaded." 



"The father of Confucius, the Chinese philosopher, was 71 years old 

 when he was born." (Post, Pittsburgh, Pa.) 



" W^hat are you looking up in that dictionary, Mose? Some big words 

 for another speech?" 



"No, sah, Ah's translatin' de speech Ah made las' night." 



What W^ould Mr. McCann Say? 

 "Did you give the penny to the monkey, dear?" 

 "Yes, mamma." 

 "And w^hat did he do?" 

 "He gave it to his father, w^ho w^as playing the hand-organ." 



