276 



THE SOUTHERN PLANTER. 



the lot which was not ploughed up last fall is 

 decidedly the best; whilst the buckwheat and 

 pea fallows stand about equal. 



RATSBANE— A SETTLER FOR THE 

 MILLION. 



For the benefit of all who may hereafter 

 fall victims to the rapacity of rats, I will 

 now, as briefly as may be, lay before them 

 my military tactics, and explain how 1 fi- 

 nally brought up my corps de reserve, 

 which gained me a decisive victory. In- 

 stead of commencing hostilities at once, on 

 discovering the extent of the ravages com- 

 mitted, I gave encouragement to the ene- 

 my, by throwing in his way divers articles 

 of food, such as drippings, lard, meat, 

 bones, fish, and other dainties. This gave 

 him confidence, and threw him off his 

 guard, so that he revelled unsuspiciously 

 among all the good'things of this life, while 

 I was secretly plotting his destruction. I 

 took care, meantime, to secure all the hen 

 houses, and shut the inmates up every 

 night, to protect them from their blood- 

 thirsty foe. The great field day was Fri- 

 day last, a day I shall long remember — I 

 devoted entirely to strategy. M7 actum re- 

 putans siquid superessot agendum, [Think- 

 ing that nothing was done if any remained 

 to do.] I completed all my arrangements 

 before the hour of dusk, impatiently wait- 

 ing for the rising sun of the morrow. — 

 Poison was my weapon; fresh herrings 

 and sprats were my aid-de-camp. The 

 poison was carbonate of barytes, ground 

 to an impalpable powder, and phospho- 

 rus. An incision was first made in the 

 backs of the herrings, and the carbonate 

 of barytes well rubbed in. The parts 

 were then, as artistically as possible, re- 

 united. The sprats being smaller than the 

 herrings, and more plastic, were pierced 

 through their sides with a sharp piece of 

 deal wood. Had a knife, a fork, or the hu- 

 man hand touched them, all would have 

 been vain. The barytes was then ' ; drilled 

 in," and other sprats not poisoned, were 

 placed above and below them, so that the 

 suspicion was disarmed. " Latet unguis in 

 tierbaV [There was a snake concealed in 

 the grass.] It should be borne in mind 

 that the barytes is without taste and with- 

 out smell; hence its great value. The 

 way in which I applied the phosphorous 

 would take more space to detail than you 

 can well afford in one number of your pa- 



per. At a future time, I will gladly furnish 

 particulars of this, and other interesting 

 matters, connected with my recent experi- 

 ments, for I have been both a "sapper" 

 and a "miner." 



When the preparations were all com- 

 pleted, I stationed my trusty messengers in 

 every part of the garden and shrubberies — 

 some under trees, some in flower pots, some 

 hidden by a brick, others partly imbedded 

 in the garden walks, &c. They "did their 

 bidding" right bravely. On coming down 

 stairs, the morning following, I found the 

 enemy had fallen into the snare. There 

 was a serious diminution of the provisions 

 furnished for their repast, and the hand of 

 death was observable on every side. They 

 had eaten ravenously; they had been 

 siezed with cruel thirst; they had sated 

 themselves with water; they had "burst 

 their boilers !" To use an expressive, and 

 most appropriate classical quotation, there 

 was a visible "Decessio pereuntium — suc- 

 cessio periturorumf which clearly proved 

 I had won the day. In a word, two days 

 and two nights had effectually routed the 

 whole army, and I was left master of the 

 field. If it be urged by some, as perhaps 

 it will be, that lam cruel, consider the ag- 

 gravation, an unprovoked and brutal at- 

 tack upon a large affectionate family of 

 sleeping innocents, who were ruthlessly 

 snatched from their beds at midnight, torn 

 limb from limb, and their agonised bodies 

 crunched; aye, crunched is the word, be- 

 tween the fangs of murderous assassins — 

 Oh! "had they ten thousand lives, my 

 great revenge has stomach enough for 

 them all." — Agricultural Gazette. 



COTTON CROPS. 



The Mobile Register states in which all 

 the accounts in our exchanges occur in re- 

 presenting the crops, especially of cotton, 

 to be in a precarious condition. The great 

 complaint is the superabundance of rain, 

 and consequently the crops are "in the 

 grass," with but slight probability of their 

 extrication. Everyone knows that to res- 

 cue either cotton or corn when the grass is 

 getting the ascendency, hot or dry weather, 

 is indispensably necessary. But instead of 

 this, for several days past, we have had 

 deluging rains, so that on many plantations, 

 the strong probability is, that the grass will 

 get the entire master of the planter. We 

 dread the accounts to be expected from the 

 country during this and the ensuing week. 



