140 



A FATHER'S CONSOLATION. 



[1824. 



I found my father in good health ; but our meeting was painfully 

 affecting. Such scenes can better be imagined than described. I 

 thought that I had screwed my " courage to the sticking-place," and 

 that it could not fail. But I was mistaken. I gave him my hand 

 with a determination to betray no emotion, and to keep my feelings in 

 complete subjection. He grasped it convulsively, and essayed to 

 speak — but he was too much agitated. He turned away his face to 

 conceal his tears, which were now falling like rain. I could play the 

 stoic no longer. The sobs of anguish were tearing his aged bosom. 

 I threw myself in his arms, and we wept aloud. 



My father was the first to rouse himself from this temporary " melt- 

 ing mood," so unusual to us both, and soon became calm and com- 

 posed. He made an effort to speak, and succeeded. 



" My son," said he, " this must not be. It is wrong to murmur 

 against the dispensations of a merciful Providence, who orders every 

 thing for the best, and who only chastens those he loves, for the 

 gracious purpose of reforming and making them eternally happy. 4 The 

 Lord gave, the Lord hath taken away, and blessed be the name of the 

 Lord.' Those who aspire to perform great actions should never suffer 

 any relaxation in that mental discipline which keeps the passions in 

 subjection. You were born for higher purposes than to play the woman. 

 The ambitious and daring spirit which you have ever evinced from 

 early childhood — your recklessness of danger — your love of travel, 

 and enthusiastic devotedness to every manly pursuit in which you 

 engage, — are all favourable indications of future success and honour. 

 Such used to be the theme of your boyish prattle ; and I trust your 

 juvenile dreams may be yet realized. 



" You therefore should never give way to those sensitive feelings, 

 which, however natural and amiable in themselves, are only becoming, 

 as to outward expression, in females, infants, and the aged. Men of 

 enterprise and ambition should always retain their presence of mind 

 in the most trying emergencies, whether of trouble or of danger. As 

 it is said in one of our beautiful hymns their fortitude should remain 

 unshaken, 



Though earth were from her centre toss'd, 

 And mountains in the ocean lost, 

 Torn piecemeal by the roaring tide.' 



" This, my son, is my advice ; and may I never again thus see yon 

 off your guard. For me there is more excuse. I am old — and you 

 know, Benjamin, that my afflictions are of no ordinary kind. To lose 

 wives and children in the ordinary course of nature can be borne with 

 humble resignation. But to lose a wife — to lose sons as I — " Here 

 the poor old man was obliged to change the subject, and it was several 

 days before he ventured to renew it. 



In the mean time I recounted to him and the rest of the family all 

 the little incidents of my wanderings for the last two years ; and made 

 them acquainted with the arrangements I had made for another voyage 

 of equal length to the Pacific Ocean. The allotted period of my visit 

 soon expired ; but previous to my departure for New- York, my father 



