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THE NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC MAGAZINE 



L 



DASHEENS DUG FROM A SINGLE HILL, AS THEY LOOK BEFORE COOKING 



in the service of my country, many 

 honors have been conferred upon me, 

 but none have been greater than that of 

 having been selected as toastmaster at 

 this superb gathering of beautiful women 

 and eminent men. 



Modern war demands that campaigns 

 shall be short, sharp, and decisive, and 

 we are looking forward to the happy 

 millennium when the speeches of toast- 

 masters shall be of the same character. 



In presenting the distinguished speak- 

 ers of the evening I shall detain you but 

 a few minutes, for I have learned the 

 lesson of brevity on such occasions from 

 eminent authority. 



During the two administrations of that 

 magnificent citizen and statesman, the 

 late President Cleveland, whose constant 

 thought was for the welfare and pros- 

 perity of this nation, I was honored by 

 being selected as his military aide ; and, 

 on one occasion, when he was about to 

 send me off on a duty requiring tact and 

 diplomacy, he talked with me for nearly 

 half an hour, fully explaining his views 

 on the subject. Rising to leave him, I 

 had reached the door of the library when 

 he called, "Colonel !" Turning and sa- 

 luting, I answered, "Yes, Mr. President." 



Whereupon he added, "Let the other 

 fellow do the talking." That is what I 

 propose to do tonight. 



Again, while Superintendent of the 

 United States Military Academy, on one 

 occasion I invited that wonderful humor- 

 ist and raconteur, Mark Twain, to visit 

 West Point and address the cadets. He 

 was my guest at my home, and, at din- 

 ner, being desirous of finding out how 

 long he would talk, so that I might give 

 the necessary order as to the hour for 

 sounding "tattoo," I said to him, "Mr. 

 Clements, about what time tonight will 

 you finish your address ?" With that in- 

 imitable drawl so well known to his 

 friends, he replied, "That depends, sir, 

 upon how long you take to introduce 

 me. Some fellows take half an hour." 

 I promised him I would not exceed three 

 minutes, and I propose to keep myself 

 within the same limits tonight. 



We have with us this evening the 

 Ambassador from the great Empire of 

 Germany, a nation renowned for its 

 achievements in peace and war; a nation 

 which has reached the highest round of 

 the ladder of fame in the arts and 

 sciences — in fact, in everything that rep- 

 resents the highest culture; a nation 



