^a^^PROPOS to the recent 

 Veteran's " golf tour- 

 Uiiment is a story of the 

 event, with sly pokes at 

 partieipunts, told in 

 verse by Mr. William 

 Hurd of Pittsbiirfr, together with brief 

 ooiiiment on a few who did not take 

 part. 



There is a man in Pineluirst town, 



Benevolent and kind; 

 A merchant ho, of mnch renown ; 



A sportsman too, you'll find; 



For he the game ol golf does play 



With all the Scotman's guile ; 

 Though much lie Kloriesin that he 



Hails from the Emerald Isle. 



A man of loving heart Is he, 



Of such, the salt of Earth; 

 And more it Is a pity, 



Of such should be a dearth. 



Says he unto his friends around 



" tTnless my eyes have Ijlundered 



I see some men upon this ground 

 01 age almost a huud'erd." 



" Xow unto these I'll give a prize; 



'Twill be a silver cup ; 

 And all these men, whate'er their size, 



Aged flfty-llve and up. 



May play the game of golf for it; 



Soon let the fun begin, 

 For everv dav thev older get 



And soon will be all in. 



But some are prone to fail in traps. 



And this to equalize, 

 D. Boss shall fix some handicaps 



And thev that be inclined to pout 



At what D. Ross sh.lll !ix, 

 Had belter loot a lutlp .miI 



Lest tilt". iM : ■■■>:,. 



For this D. T,..--- i . 



Ahandv ii i .1.1 :i. ,1 - iiidv-scrap. 

 And no one doiibis lat al.ilitv 



As ii dandy hxer ot a handicap. 



Both Donald and Aleck are very' nice. 



Doing all tliat's in their power 

 To mend your " pull " and cure your " slice," 



At one and a half per hour. 



That's little enough, we know. 



For mending such great evils. 

 An hour a dav of it, I vow. 



Would nil me with blue devil*. 



Now all 18 llxed and the time Is set; 



So everv one is told 

 That all old iiicn in the game may get. 



Owning hltv and hve years oltl. 



'Tis strange with what aviditv 



These oM Mien i.Li v tlie same 

 You'd think tlun :ii ri^ri 



Of age r, . ' n> lame. 



Yet twenty s 

 yuite h 



tch. 



But w atch his game and you'll remark 

 That he'll stay in the light. 



This old man Hurd. he thought a tit. 

 And curled his moustache up; 



He ruminateil .— •' 'tis most lit 



That 1 should win that cup. 



" Y'et have no cup to show 



That I e'er ivon the fray. 



I'll take ray club and strike a blow. 

 To prove I'm nolpasse." 



Then Ormsbee brave — a veteran he, 

 With look serene and high; 



Advanced and stood upon the tee. 

 Saying, " I'll do or die." 



And though a little oiTtod.iy, 



And just a little bit rheumatic, 

 Most surely will I skill display 

 To hit this silk pneumatic." 



Then conies forth J. E. Kellogg, 

 A siuile his face lights up. 



Says he, " As I'm a lucky dog," 

 " I think J';i land that cup." 



Then all those ancient men took heart 

 And said, " We have a show. 



For often have we seen his ball 

 Into the ljunkers go." 



But Kellogg thinks,— thinks he: 



n goiu 



with s 



Then at that log I'll tee up high. 

 And do my biggest siutit for 



It there I lose my ball, they'll cry: 

 "Go to Helen Hunt tor it.'' 



" Now, Helen Hunt I do not like, 



Her airs they do not charm me; 

 Her looks my fancy does not strike. 



Her wiles, 1 fear, will harm me." 



Then Foot— the sturdy,— he comes on, 

 Most surely no beginner; 

 I'll win that old man's cup," said he. 



He said — and looUe«T about quite savage, 

 " They'll find that rm no child." 



Now all these ancient men were scared. 



They at each other looked. 

 And said: ■' It seems to us that we 

 For sure defeat are booked." 



" Oil, see him swing that mighty stick, 



Aii'J swiiJe that little pill; 

 .)h, surely he can do the trick- 

 He makes us I'eel quite ill." 



^Jow comes a Northern champion. 



In movement much alive; 

 You'd hardly think him numliered in 

 The ranks of " flfty-llye." 



He does not Bviing a mighty club. 



But pK-iys a skillful game. 

 'Tls plainly seen he is no " dub," 



And Yuile is his name. 



And Tulle said, " I'll tell no lies ; 



I feel I have a call 

 To beat these Yanks and take that prize 

 With me to Monti-eal." 



Now tremUe all ye ancient men, 



A stalwart form appears; 

 How comes this man of youthful mien 



'Mong men of many years? 



The years with him have played no tricks; 



An oak he stands, and manly ; 

 And when he swings his miglity sticks. 



Those Infants know 'tis Hhanley. 



Anotlier patriarch now we see, 



K man of sterling worth. 

 And winner or loser though he be. 



All hail to Mr. North I 



Ne'er would competitors disagree, 



Should the prize be awarded hiu). 



Some pnstiue sti-in n ; uUun, 



From out the throut; tlici e comes a man 

 Of slow and sure demeanor 



And goodly form (though tmpar golf 

 Perhaps he should be leaner.) 



But sooth he is a gallant kniglit. 

 Well lit to give some trouble 



To them who go against a White 

 For the reputation bubble. 



Thus Mr. White remarks— savs he: 

 " My judgment it provokes 



When on the putting green 1 see 

 Preliminary strokes. ' 



" AgainBt the rules it is a sin 



Of which I have no douht; 

 And every time a ball's put in 



"But 111 

 NorllttU- 



merit, 



I :ill0W 



ml ■ Qiieer xt: '■ 



That little man is Mr. Priest— 



There's due hlra this confession. 



And that is. that he's not the least 

 Of those in this procession. 



Make no mistake about his game; 



Misjudging is a sin— 

 For all his life it's been hie aim 



To take the people ill. 



Crocker the brave, is striding up ; 



A soldier, too, was he; 

 And stood in battle 'midst the rout 



Of tlic beaten enemy. 



He marches now upon the tee 



With evident decision. 

 Now please observe— a hit you'll see, 



With soldierly precision. 



He's making a _ 



And thinking what his chances be 

 Of taking home that prize. 



To get the ball from oil this tee 

 To me's an aggr.ivatlon." 



" I make some very lovehj drives 

 When nobody is gazing, 



But here, at first, my club contrives 

 To do some tricks amaziDg." 



That's .lames McCutclieon coming up; 



That man of stately port. 

 He does not play to win the cup, 



But inst to join the sport. 



His winning game he'll not display 

 But only give a sample, ' 

 And join the " boys " to grace the dav 



And set a good example. 

 C. A. Lochwood now appears, 



A mighty hunter, he. 

 And witli his gun as much at home 



As standing on the tee. 

 His aim is good, and if he plays 

 As straight as he can shoot, 

 He'll have that cup for all his days. 



And glory too, to boot. 

 There, standing in the crowd is seen 



A man in manner quiet; 

 At golf you'll know he is not green 



For that man's name is IVyatt. 

 With compressed lips he mutters low 



"I'm from old Fond du Lac, 

 And all these fellows here I'll show 



The game is won through knack 

 ' Of putting, the which let none ignore . 



The driver, no douljt's a handy stick, 

 iut when you count the winning si'ore 

 It's the putter that did the trick. ' 

 And many more with these did strive. 



And struggled hard to win. Iflve- 

 Putnam, young at sixty.nine, Easlon at elxU-'- 



buch pluck is seldom seen. 

 There's Woodman of Mahoning 



Chandlee of Overbrook, 

 You'll know there was no droning 



When these their drivers took. 

 Theie's Lawrence brave and E. L. Brown, 



And Ballard of Glcnview ; 

 These players it was hard to down ; 



But that is nothing new. 

 And Bowen of New York, 



Contested well the field. 

 And gave the younger men hard work. 



Before the prize he'd yield. 

 Now all is done— the light has been 



And there is nothing more 

 But just to take in hand a pen 

 And enter up the score. 

 Though each has vied with all his might 



The prize, it goes to Wi/att ; 

 Because from old Olympus' height 

 Had gone forth such a fiat. 



And what the gods decree must stand. 



For nothing can upset it. 

 But If you've made an effort grand 



Y'ou'll surely not regret it. 



Tea, what the gods decree must hap, 

 And nothing can upset it, 

 do not lilame your handicap; 

 'Tis Iietter to forget it. 



Now, here's to the man that gave the prize. 



His name is .lames McCutcheon 

 Let it be shouted to the skies 



And graved on Fame's escutcheon. 

 And there are many more 



The Muse had liled to name; 

 And sing their praises all, 



Had they got in the game. 

 There's Sheppaid and McMillan 



Who both are men ot brains- 

 They play at golf on pleasant days, 



But go in when it rains. 

 The quantity of work tliey do 

 Is actually prodigious 

 vhen not playing golf, 'tis true, 

 They're running tilings religious. 

 McMillan gives the people seats 



Nor leaves them in the lurch 

 But ever with a smile them greets 

 As they come late to oliurcli. 



Slieppard passes round the plate 



To get some money in ; 

 Nor do sinners much deliberate; 



It drops in witli a din. 



His penetrating look it seems 



To take me by the i;ollar: 

 Was going to put a nickel In, 



But substitute a dollar. 

 Aud Leonard Tufts, so debonair. 



Who owns and runs the place; 

 You'd never think lie had a care 



To see his smiling face. 



He owns the bushes and the trees. 



The houses and the land: 

 And when yon make your Uttle tees. 



You're using up his sand. 



'Tis said he owns the very air: 



That's circumambient. 

 The use of whi<-h you may not dare 



Unless you pay the rent. 



Oh, what a llx we should be in 

 Dying to use the air it 

 oiild not soon produce t 

 To liquidate the tariff. 



Oh, Leonard Tufts, so debonair, 



And manner very nice; 

 Oh, let me breathe your Plnehurst air. 



I'll gladly pay your price I 



