TA RR 1 'TO WN L E TTERS. 



675 



Tarryer says Lady Schnipticket showed her the 

 stubs of sixteen checks in one day, all drawn in 

 favor of Scotchmen ! 



Should the weather prove hot, as was hoped, on 

 account of the late use of muslin dresses in a gar- 

 den party, the grass plats would not be shady 

 enough for all the performances. "There are 

 plenty of fine plumy trees, M'Tavish, which you 

 can thin out of my planted coppices," said Lady 

 Schnip. Three hundred was the tally cut and 

 stuck in the ground between two days, fit to stand 

 a gale of wind, by a gang of Scotch telegraph-pole 

 operators. 



What tickled Uncle Sam and Brother Jonathan 

 was that the party wasn't named till almost the last 

 minute. The name had to grow, as it were. Mrs. 

 Tarryer generally manages to have a cart-load or 

 two of melons under the well-arbor to quench the 

 thirst of dog-days, and this year the boys made big 

 calculations and had a large piece planted (manure 

 plowed in), and the melons were appling so thick 

 you could step from one to another. But though 

 they were large, they were later than usual, and it 

 was not known to a certainty whether the bill for 

 melons and moonlight would be full together in 

 September. M'Tavish couldn't tell a ripe melon 

 without plugging it, but he was wise enough not 

 to try. So the date of the show was set only 

 when, from actual inspection by the two veterans 

 and the leading ladies, it was seen, looking at the 

 quirls, scratching the bellies of some, considering 

 the luxuriance of the vines and the state of the 

 weather, that we could certainly pick twenty cart- 

 loads of fine melons at the end of a week. Then 

 it was decided to call the affair "A Late Water- 

 melon Party." Up to this time our newspaper 

 friends, who were working the thing up, had men- 

 tioned it in terms that might mean anything glori- 

 ous, but now they had full swing to enlarge upon 

 melons. From private advices concerning the 

 health of a certain eminent official, it was hoped 

 this name would fetch him, but it didn't. He never 

 knew what was good for himself. 



Your pages need not be loaded with details, for 

 which the daily press is better fitted. Suffice to 

 say, that the day was splendid — just right in the 

 grass-garden for artificial shade-trees which looked 

 as if they had grown there, and capital, in the grove 

 close by, for the melons and the long tables loaded 

 with flowers and the excellent lunches people brought 

 with them. There were several hundred seats for 

 pairs provided about the grounds, and the truth of 

 history compels me to state that Mrs. Tarryer un- 

 dertook to teach the Scotchman how to eat neatly 



with spoon and fork, from his half of a big melon, 

 on one of them ! She estimates (all flesh is grass) 

 that fifty or sixty safe matches will be made by her 

 " Late Melon Party." But these are only social 

 matters. 



From a scientific point of view the gains were 

 large. Nothing tedious was on the program ; every- 

 thing was spectacular and enlivening. Between 

 the intervals of band-playing from the grand stand, 

 several short papers were read. Miss Laura Schnip- 

 ticket, a bright young woman of great expectations, 

 at home on her vacation from a medical college, 

 gave an essay "On Certain Glaucous Appearances 

 in Poa trivialis" which was heard with rapt atten 

 tion by the younger savans. 



Some three hundred and fifty select young people, 

 who had learned their parts well, were seated under 

 the shade trees among the grass plats, so that every 

 considerable plat had several people to speak for it. 

 Mrs. Tarryer managed this part of the show her- 

 self. A look from her silenced the brass, after a bar 

 or two of " God Save the Queen." She then stated 

 to a hushed audience (I remember hearing a cricket 

 chirp), that through the clumsiness, inefficiency or 

 the craft of teachers, the common people, includ- 

 ing nearly everybody, were only learning the nick- 

 names of grass, and she thought it high time we 

 did better than that. Eminent agricultural botan- 

 ists write of "the well-nigh impossible task of sep- 

 arating Agrostis into its varieties." (Here came 

 groans of derision from all parts of the garden.) 

 " What do you say ?" asked the speaker. " Here 

 are thirty of us distinct varieties of Agrostis without 

 any names, "came back in a roar from the grass-plats. 



"Of the Festuca tribes, but little more can be 

 said for the schools," Mrs. Tarryer went on. 

 "What does my garden say ?" 



"Here are twenty more of us beautiful grasses 

 under your noses these thousand years wanting 

 names !" came back in strong young voices which 

 thrilled the audience. 



' ' Now let Feshtca ovitia rise and speak for herself, " 

 when about half an acre of young people began 

 to swing their hats and handkerchiefs from the gar- 

 den, exclaiming in unison : " We are all as different 

 as can be, full of business, and we want names to 

 carry it on !" 



Upon call, Agrostis vulgaris — saucier than Festuca 

 — and several other species were put through the 

 same performance, with even more vehemence and 

 aplomb. This part of the show was singularly ef- 

 fective, because the entire audience of more than 

 fifteen hundred people, including our first citizens, 

 were sitting high up where they could see, plain as 



