GROWING OLD 



come to my ears, that the outside of my jacket is a 

 trifle the worse for wear. I hear men allude to me 

 as 'a mischievous brute, an unclean swine, aplaguey 

 nuisance, a misbegotten scoundrel, a low-class 

 bounder' ; and when men begin to use comparatively 

 reasonable names, such as these are, you may be 

 pretty sure that there is worse to follow. I do not 

 wish to be unreasonable. I am quite willing to 

 accept such names as these as a fairly accurate 

 description of the outside of my character, but I 

 confess that I should be rather inclined to draw the 

 line, if I found that they were beginning to use any 

 stronger terms of abuse. I suppose that, from 

 your point of view, I do seem to be always in the 

 way. I eat the heart out of your corn-stacks ; I 

 devastate your barns ; I burgle your houses ; I 

 gnaw holes even in lead pipes, when they get in 

 my way ; I kill your young pheasants and chickens 

 now and then ; and I make a general nuisance of 

 myself in your eyes, but I really do not see how I 

 can help it. I must eat in order to live, and I do 

 like to make myself thoroughly at home, wherever 

 I go — that is only natural, surely ! And if I have 

 large families several times a year, well, I do my 

 best — at least, very many of my brother rats do — 

 to lessen the evil by eating up a great many of the 



15—2 



