78 



MY LIFE 



[Chap. 



common as dirt or earwigs in the cotmtry ! but they often 

 turn up. 



" I begin the second reading to-night — not aloud — oh no ! 

 " With our best Salaam to the Lady, I remain 

 " Thine in amity, 



"Theodosius Purland." 



The next letter is so wholly and heartily gastronomic 

 that it appeals to me strongly, and reveals the jovial cha- 

 racter of the man so amusingly that it must not be omitted. 



" Fang Castle, 7, Mortimer St., W., 

 "Jan. 9, 1870-1. 



" Now you're wuss and wuss ! 



" Tuesday is the * University ' of the High-mighty and pious 

 College of Dentists of England, and everywhere else : the 

 ' Collection ' of Officers, and when I am to give an acct. of 

 all the four-penny pieces I have received during the year — 

 for, and on behalf of the Jaw-breakers in general, and the 

 Council in particular. We begin at 7 — close when we have 

 no more to say ; and adjourn to St. James's Hall feeding-Box, 

 for a trial of the Artificials ! 



" It was lucky I called there this morning. Our Sec. had 

 ordered a Cold Collation — Cold Veal, Ham and Fowls ! COLD 

 Devils ! You may as well eat a Hat-box or Fire-wood. 



"I have ordered a Hot Supper — Ducks — Giblet Pies — 

 Phim-pudding, and such like Comforts — cold grub indeed, and 

 the Glass at 26°. So you see, as I cannot well be in two 

 places at once, and where Duty call one must obey, we shall 

 not have the pleasure of Banquetting upon the ' Cold Greens^ 



" As to * Alcohol ' — I do not think I shall venture out — 

 Aunt Loo is going to preside at a School treat in the shape of 

 T., Bunns, Plum cake and sundry indigestibles, one a Magic- 

 Lanthorn, which they are to devour. Tom and his Cousin 

 Constance go as well : So I shall be alone, as the Gals are at 

 Torquay — capital place for females as it is all Talkee ! 

 Talkee ! — So, as I said before, I shall be alone — and I con- 

 template the utter destruction of a Kidney pudding ! Think 

 of that, Master Brook — a Kidney pudding ! and perhaps a bit 

 of steak or a Sausage or TWO, perhaps THREE : only two of us — 

 the pudding and / ! no weggibles, to take up the room the 



