2 



[Jan. 5, 1893. 



(The ^^tartiiijiim (Taitrinf. 



A LITTLE DOMESTIC ARGUMENT. 



A GOOD bat, oi L,nnt- ilw i 

 spoitMiu^u \ ft lu kiiou^ lint 

 desirible tlmiL, llu |>li i-mm 

 diKtd It) Ml n i,uint nt hitl i 1 i 

 toward eoll■v|1lOl^I^• oiiu s iaiiul> 

 Attev a siii-cesstul Inuit une is m 

 to havmu' uei^leote-d lus biisiue^ 

 whether the world knows it or not 



1 d( Ml ibk thlUL, to tlx? 



o\m tins 18 not the most 

 it tinntirm cannot lie re- 

 nt birds iA'oes a lona,' way 

 mil inendsot its ntihtv. 

 ■re reroncdeiL souieliou'. 

 . and seems to care le^is 

 Tlie areat tlimg about 



will never know what the pleasure is. You probably call 

 It a edkiu n) me \\ omen too bi\i t h( u little w (.ak 

 ni — ( - 1 _lU-~^ ^ on K-numbu tbat bttle --ix inches ol 



lace Toii got trom that tra.velmg lady (you sard she 

 -<ii ladvdike and rehned) in exchange for a large seo- 

 o iiods anil chattels that erstwhile reposed in 

 eU as scA-eral rolls ot old carpet brought up 

 ir. phis imnK-rons old InKits and slioes of 

 the l-anulv. 

 ' \ oii talkim; about?"" 

 hr.uKlit 11 \ tn-y strange lliat 1 didn"t 

 : ill lace. Bnl it wasn't in ine to do it 

 used t(i uet up o" nights to look at it 

 'oiddn t see anything in it. I don't 



poll 

 "\\ ds 



tion ot 



the dtu IS A\ ell r 

 trom the cellar, ]. 

 I vauous nn mbi i-, < 

 P. G.— -'Wbal 

 H.— ■•Well, vou 

 ra.ve (i\ er ihal. speck 

 and I coiildii t. \ oi 

 bv moon Light, but i 



hunting cannot be expressed m a tormula ot birds, and is 

 independent ot a good string, althouRh it goes \eiy well 

 with it ^ our tnie' Sj iortsman knoAvs wliat it is. The rest 

 never v^'ill This has alwavs been a favorite theory of 

 mine, and 1 have preached it so otten to my la-mily nhax I 

 have no doubt thev are heartily sick of it. 



Of late T have been cniite successful, and has-e been given 

 to computing the cash value ot the birds brought home, 

 and generallv the liaJance has been on the right side as 

 against the actual cash outlav. (3t conr.se T counted the 

 time spent as nothmg. No sporlsman counts his tune as 

 nn thing w hen ihtldssUh !< _ uid _iin IlKttw.iibk 

 b dances 1 line used is i i-iuuls u,.,um(nt toi „omL, 

 again. 



[1 Usui to b( (luitc (hlhunl nulwlun lli i<l iiothiu^ to 



show up I drew lariielv on the jileasiire ot hunting ^/c/- .sr. 

 Iremenilier one |iai ticular occasion (and this is wliat I 

 started to tell i wlien. after a desperate day s hinit. I had 

 killed notbnig. So hir as 1 was concerned 1 duhi t care, 

 but inv wife liked birds and I remembered that I had been 

 so verv conUdent m. the morning. Ihis v> as not the hrst 

 time it bad happened, either, and mv argument about 

 buds 1)( in_ in ( h id bu ii ust d so oftni it \\ is no longc i 

 formidable and. indeed, was generally anticipated. 



Mv m(H>k and de]ected look ])roi-l;niiied the result ot mv 

 hunt without mv announcing it, and it \\ as a ei-\ likely 

 that the Presiding Genius of m\' liouseliold wonkl engage 

 me in com ersation upon tlie sub]ect ot ImntiUK— trom hei 

 standpoint, she did, and this is what it was: i 



PRT5«n>iNi! (Ji'-.Nirs ••Well. I suppo.se this ends it: I i 

 don't s(M' how Villi ii-ii,it to li'o iinntiiig when vou don t j;vt. i 

 anvtlung. Thats whaX is so tunny tome. Here vou 

 have been tni.R .'ifter tirne and haven t brought Iionie a 

 thing — vnn know von said the last time vou came home 

 vou'd be sonietbmg-or-othered it vou ever went again. 

 Now here it is again tlie same tlnna. I really am ash;imed 

 to" — 



HnNTPR— -'Mvdear. vou are lookim: ai this matter trom 

 tK stnidiioinl ol a ^^ ouian \n\ s| ,i i m ui will tc 11 a ou 

 ihit 1 bu 1 i^ ot game IS a seeondaiv consuki dion liie 



pleii.sure — . , . 



I ( - 1 1 now jiist wh d Mill 111 ^onu to si\ lbi\( 

 heard it so nianv times tliut I know it by lieart: -pleasure 

 of hmi ting lu itself, -tramp all das', braciu.ti: air. renewed 

 health— A^onng again; Uh. I know it all. It you would 

 only get soniethiny' ouce m a while. I would be more 

 leioULiUd mh 1 i Old L don t sit \\n\ sou i in I 

 you know liow tond 1 am of game— I just e n. 



H — -'Frrim the standpoint of a wouian, you are un- 

 doubudh (fuel I ue\u leit ao \< ii .bi.ut itin>-,t.lt 

 as 1 do this minute; i am almost tempiea to give the thmg 

 up right here and now"— you see birds were scarce." 



P_ G._"lf they are so scarce why don't you buy some? 

 I saw- a lovely string of quail hanging up at the market 

 this morning and I was tempted to order some; I might 

 liave known vou wouldn't get any. Dear me! I know 

 they are gone now . You said you would surely get some 

 to-da;s^." , • , 



H.:_--l lIoh"! hmit h> fiUpfiK un l.imdy witli moat. 

 Talk about m.> Inning game! li ^^'iuld in- an insult from 

 one not so dear to me! I would ratliei shixit my dog and 

 then give mv gun awav. We only saw one bevv ; lad you 

 ought to have seen Eubv catch tlie scent as she w a.-, ijiiai- 

 tenng a stubble held! SIk is .i d.iisN,.ind no misuike 

 She roaded them <> .|ii<irtei ol a mile 1 should say and 

 came to a. beautiful iiomt. liead way up— just like tier 

 dam— looked as it" she was star-gazmg, you know. I 

 flushed them. I»ut my left liarrel missed hre— you know 

 what I have told vou about thtise shells— and 1 was so 

 taken bai 1. that I couldn't in iii\ other batiel. They 

 settled ui a di ns( thuket and w i ncsii saw lude nor hair 

 of them afters\-ard. Is supper ready?"' 



-p_ {j._'-it is \erv slraiige. witli all ilie luinting traj.is 

 vou''\> -ot thai \ , ,11 I. lilt lilt smue c.irt ridges that will go 

 "otf liow ,7o Villi expect (d kdl anylilring unless you do? 

 Dear me! what cro^ 1 do about my luncheon to-morrow?'" 



H.— • - Wliat Luncheon?" 



P_ G,— ■•Luncheon for ttie girls, ot coiu-se. Didn't I 

 tell vou 1 was going to lia\ e one tor Lizzie's friend? No, 

 I didn't, come to think about it— she is an cftqfiti swell. 

 Here, look at this iiienu card I have painted. Do you 

 see tliat tliird coui'se?" . 



H. -'Yes. I .see it. 'Quail on toast, \oir ve coiinted 



your quail before they are hatched." 



' p. Gr.— "I told Lizzie you had gone limiting expressly 

 for that course, and she said it was lovely of you to do it 

 for her. Bhe said it was so much nicer to know that 

 one's game was fresli and all right. I don't see how you 

 can bear to look lier in the face." 

 H.— "I shall be very busy to-morrow. There is a man 



coming"— , -, u -^x. 



P. G.— -'He was here to-day, and there was a boy with 

 a telegram looking for vou. They looked all over town, 

 heaven only knows where, to find you. Why is it that 

 you are so ashamed of ^-oing hunting that you can't leave 

 word where you are gone. After they had looked m 

 every section of the town and couldn't find you, your man 

 —that is coming to-morrow— called me up and asked me 

 where you were." 



H.— "Wliat did you say?" 



P, GS-.— "I said you had gone hunting." 



H.— "What did 7ie say'?" 



G-.— "He said, 'Oh, is that so,' in such a tone and 

 rang off. Don't you think it is. about time to give up this 

 hunting business"? Here you are neglectmg your otfloe, 

 and men chasing aU around town looking for you. Just 

 ' think if the banks and credit companies should find it 



H.— " I don't care if they do. I hiww that hunting is a 

 ^•entlemanly recreation and that it is of the greatest value 

 to me. It is not measured in doUars and cents, and I 

 don't suppose I can convince them of it any more than I 

 can you by demonstration. In the nature of tilings^ you 



know the dtllerence between iioint lace and a wire ii^uci^ 

 .md pioliablv nt\ei shall You look it hunting thiou^h 

 tlie bars of the broiler, while to me the jileasiue — 

 P G — Tea IS leadv let s talk it om i atteiwaid 



TOLD IN HEROICS. 



I'ELL you hosv it was. 



1 hadn't been bass lishing this season. Didn t think 

 mncLi ot piosiiccts. rosy re|)orts nev^ertheless, tor tlie 



woods are Lull of ilsbers tor count. Mv friend, J, P. H.. 

 ofteved nie his team tor the tonr-nnle tri]i. parth" because 

 tlie horse was in danger ol «h spepsia and gout trom high 

 living and little exercise, ami partly because , J. P. waiiteil 

 to get rid ot iJie tor a day any way. for so do sweets cloy 

 at last \ou see Ins ofhce was too hand\ to loaf m, so I 

 .-illowed him to persuade me and \\ent. 



(tot tf> the place about S A. M. Had heluramites (that 

 word sho<-ks me evi'rv time 1 s[>eak or write iti and craw- 

 hsh and grasshoiipers and worms and tadpoles and flies 

 and spinners for bait. I bonaiit I ought to corral sinne- 

 tlimg witli a!i that. Daughter with inc. Loves to hsh, 

 too- Natural- I snalVv calclies more than her dern atn e. 

 Hired a tioat at the mill l»v a dam site. Dam there too. 

 half a mde lone. ent to work at upper end. Eockv 

 bluif. Hemlocks. Lovely-. \\ ater irrettv deep. Dan.ghter 

 began liy pulling out suiihsh. Notlnng else for an hour. 

 \ erv lew of these. Then 1 tastened to a trass ot promis- 

 ing iiroportions tliat immediately l:)egau to somewlvere 

 with considerable determination Lor alxint tbiitA -"conds. 

 and 7 thought he was trulv niiiie. when, tln:' lar^teinnj; 

 lienig msi'cnre. owing to circnni.stances over w Inch 1 had 

 btrle crndrob he went, and — well . von know hoAV it teels 

 when voiir honk comes back to vou .sudden with nothing 

 on it- Fish must have so no and told all the others, tor 

 all the forenoon 1 hshed ti]' one side, down tlic otlier. u].i 

 both sides- down t he middle, crusse'L o\ er and sahited 

 with \ ari<ius temptrim' mdlicemenls with all tiie skilM. 

 could iimsier. hut iiDl a miible t hrilled I he an Mous line. 

 Bv noon a a'oodlv string of snimies floated alon,t;side, the 

 product of the little ladv s skdl. tniL •■nary Liass nor 

 picker-el ha.l sampled mv rel reslmieiits. So we saiuivh.'d 

 some ill the basket, and w;tii tiieui some nice warm creek 

 w aler. began again. 



Sill, w arm. More than that. I' ish all gone tti I'ool olt. 

 So we went still tiu-ther up stream, passing the mouth of 

 a little .■•reek m whose shaLLow limpids we caught with 

 macii iiiteii\ md oui hand ji le it the Loseh i j ,lli 

 wigs that ever wigged. Now, don t ^ome ot vuu Jntera- 

 tetu's rise up and correct rne, lor .\ uun slip up jusCs 

 likens not. PoUvwogs is vulgar, e caught them of ail 

 sizes clear up to where they were sprouting legs, and I 

 felt confident that as the bass didn't want anything else, 

 polliwigs 'd fetch 'em, But they didn't. More fond hopes 

 dispelled, dispersed, dissipated. Great big fat fellows, all 

 stomach, hooked by the tail, went wrigghng downward, 

 or kicked on th.' snrla'->e. "just as naniraL " but not a bass 

 responded. So I returned l;o hel—dolisous and \A orked 

 down sti-eam slowlv. while Lhe sun threw a tew more de- 

 grees of heal into liis beams and became doubly Avearisouie 

 to the tlesli. 



Then we tied our boat to the bank and can;.' In 

 more snntish. and one eel ..-ame Lo iis .s.|Uirmin.t: ; - . 

 himself into knots that woiddn L stay Lied a numue. ano 

 making me go tizzer-rizzer all over wlieii 1 touclied him. 

 I like eels <ni the tal'le thorough Is cooked and dead, buL 

 the touch of a shjipery . -h-rr> . f> '-img, squu-iunig, craw l- 

 ing writhing, clamnrv . , .Miiuosity shrinks and 

 shriy els 1 1 le right up. Sa i . i ^ cei ^ , ^ that a woman experi- 

 en. es w hen she louchc-s a woim. I can bympathize AMth 

 her. 



Vl.mg aliouf l o'clock 1. noticed a spot near the oj)])osile 

 shoi'e in shadiiw i rom trees over otu' heads that .looked 

 C0..1 aii.l pleasant and tempting for fish, so we rowed ovia , 

 put out t he anchor and 



Pistiecl tUKl tisluHl aiKl Hslie.l ami lisliefl. 

 And then we flsti.ed smae more. 



and might as well ha\ e hshed up among the hemlocks, 

 and a good deal mi^re c.jinfortably. GiAuug it up in dis- 

 gnst. I raised the anchor, and telling the little maiden to 

 take an oar and keep the boat w-ithin easy casting distance 

 of the shore we floated slowd.v down, while I cast a good- 

 sized hel—dobsonrepeatedlv witti matchless skill and arm- 

 ache until I began to tire of such foolishness, when, after 

 a careless and dispairing cast, as I was recoyering, the 

 line straightened and began moving otf down stream with 

 a steady, strong movement that spoke of large game, 

 This is vVhat I was going to tell you about. 



Calmly waitino:, with Due foot advanced, the exact and 

 opportune moment when tlie doughty denizen of the deep 

 should lie debating in his mind whether he desired to retain 

 the mouthful he had or no. with the stereotyiied upward 

 and backxvard movement of the wrist, I struck, and struck 

 hard, and as the cruel steel went home (opinions that the 

 fish doesn't suffer pain to the contrary notwithstanding) 

 the beautiful Microx:)terus dashed wildly and desperately 

 for deep water and freedom, while the reel sung as doth 

 the stridulous cicada when all the air quivers beneath the 

 fierce rays of the great luminary in the long .summer 

 noon ^^ow with steadv and powerful surge hke unto the 

 Atlantic liner breasting the seas, he piles up the water be- 

 fore him and compels the cession of braided silk or else 

 the fracture of the phaiit thingof beauty joyforever rod. 

 and again with mad rush he cleaves his wateiy do- 

 main with the speed of hght, while the tense Ime cuts the 

 water with a swirl hke that of the sword of Richard Coeur 

 de Lion when, with a single back-handed hck, he reHeved 

 Bobadil of Santander of his caput. The graceful and re- 

 silient rod bends to a semicii-cle chorded by the gossamer- 

 like line, seemmgly aU too cobwebby to sustain the im- 

 mense pressure put upon it by the enraged and battling 

 leviathan. 



And now the frenzied bronze-backer, stung to despera- 

 tion, ■speeds to the suit at hki a lushing io( ket and bui-st- 

 mg into viev\' V)ro]ects his piscine form thrice its length 

 abov e the aqueous depths Ti\ hu h s( atteied into a thousand 

 diops flashes ind scintillates ni the lUnlight hke unto the 

 liluidnii. sloweis of spaiks tliiown tiom thi hugt and 

 glow m_ 111,1s-. ot 111. t il 1). ne It b tin t iiitu impact of an 

 hiimli . d Ion h II inn i M iddi mil w ith h\ i (.mitting fire 

 ami with quiverint;' toiin lie a ainlv endeavoi-s to shake 

 trom lus month the cniel barb, and tailing. cleaA-es the 

 water a<iaiii to resnm.' lus desperate rnslu's liu- hbertv. 



A.ha! lie Sj)ies the boat, and deeming it a. haven of 

 iifiige he hi. s bini I. i its jaotedioii Ihit ms good dglit 

 aim and niml li lod shall aAeit latastiopht hable to 

 itsiilt ii, in ih. sii((isstula((-omphshmentotsuchstiategy, 

 and anon, turned trom his course like meteor flash, he 

 rushes tor deep w ater once more, and the line smoking 

 with friction is paid on demand while the obedient reel 

 goestbiotigh lb. Ml id I busm. ss a-,am Snubbed i little, 

 he rises to the occasion and to the circumambient, and 

 shaking himself in speecliless rage, gnashes liis teeth and 

 flashes defiance from those glittering orlis erstwhile so 

 L dm ind fishv isontVLnh balanced fin his bi )ii/i ^reen 

 milist whileil iwaA Th( middav houis b. in ilh the 

 shadow of a. mossy rock, 



l)own\iid h( -,o(s i^mi with a mi^htv splash, his 

 bumishi 1 si.li s u Ih ( tin^ tin d i\ gods nAs lu k deido- 

 sco})e of green and lirown and black and lironze with, 

 ^■verv separ.ate spine ot dorsal erect, like ..|uills upon the 

 fretful porcupine, Aviiile spray, like that Avhen iceberg on 

 the precnpitons shores of tar Alaska, clett trom the gigantic 

 front of the resistless dacier falls with thtuiderous sound 

 into tlie vasty deeyi. enveloyis all around. Dauntless I 

 stand w-atchmg the uneA'en tray . 



s, , lb sill i^nii Withsii n^^th H IK w(d he takes 

 tfie hue he gave, and gathering all his force he ploAvs the 

 w It tv mun with siK n_ili (uodigious mikin„ it last his 

 liol.k^st rush tin- liberty. 



Tlic comliat (leeii(-*i.i!i. ciii: ye bass 



yviu) ImiilH doei> water i;>r ttie }!;rasR. 



^Jii-s-s. l)r(jTizv. all diy pw-wer.'i mass. 



And fi!?ht witti .all thy stratefcv. 



loin tintsh 1< i\(^th< ti 111 liKint vvaAt torn fimes 

 he shakes his raging form m air, and tour times faUs amid 

 tlie yeast y foam, weaker at each attempt, until, at leng^th 

 Avorn out in t!ie tern he cornbat. lie turns .his quiA-ering 

 side to heaven and aaspmg Llnats into the handv lufich 

 liasket luanipiilaied liv the maiden, because vye had left 

 the landint;- net at home. 



W *■ rode peaeetullv thither .in the gloaming, where Ave 

 sc lie d tlic gloi lous i/t which \a oighed— nmre aa itli the 

 scales tiiaii without. O. O. S. 



KELLUP'S BEAdLE. 



0\.-F in :iwhile ot a Sunday afternoon, Kellnp used to 

 rnmniage throngti the bureau .1 raw er m tlie attic Avhe.re 

 he k-cpl the ij.-ick nunilier odds and ends oi hshing tackle 

 and things and lhe bag ol marhtes ot lite little liov that 

 bd I Tib ol I Ic Uht I sUap with a (u im m silvc 1 plate 

 ■ lid Lodger s name inscribed thereon. But about the last 

 hii _ logobick into tlie diawei « is the iealhei strip with 

 lhe silver plate sand Dodg6?r s name inscribed. At these 

 ami. , IMlup always as-^uied tuin-tlt lu \ i idd lu \ei OAvn 

 another dog" but that day last Avinter, dow n in S.5uth 

 Countv on the annual hunt, Jake said; 'N^ hy don't you 

 send me down a beagle? Get a good one "n I'll keep him 

 for vou." 



The idea struck him favorably. He kept thinking it 

 OA .M- all the A\ a\ home in the 1 1 am fi seeiii.'d ipiite the 

 proper thing, quite m the line ol ihe i!,-entlenian sport." 

 He said nothing to Susan, but one evening when his old 

 friend Sanimv came iwer Lo smoke in the kitchen he 

 broached it Nfot that Sammv had anv special informa- 

 tion al)ont dot;s. Lvellni> was a little ditUdent about the 

 prf'e He didn t teel that he ..mght to paw oaw .$5 for a 

 dou Old tie shouldii I want Su.san to know it at that. He 

 should hke her to get the impression that somebody gave 

 hini t he dog. 



Old Saminv reassur.-'d hmi. Said there'd be no trouble 



at all -Must let it leak out tliat y.iu want a dog for five 

 dollars and tlien take your pu;k ot the beagles that come 

 howling round. So KelLup let it leak out. After a feAv 

 (lays tie sot tired watching tor boys to come leading them 

 oirstrines so lie wrote to a high-toned kennel and got a 

 catalogue Avirh prices that made liini .sigh. Sammy ad- 

 vise.l him to have it framed. Ibeu lie dropped .remarks 

 ill the gun stoii s .ind pku es wheie sportmg men do con- 

 giegate. and .it last he haded Tom Healy driving by. Tom 

 pulled up to the curbstone. 



"Say, Thomas, vvho"s got a good beagle hound? A nice 

 one, Thomas." 



"I have," 



"iUi! just the man 1 want. Whatll you take for him?" 

 "Take? Money won't buy him." 



■'Oh-h-h! Well, where can I get one, Thomas? Not a 

 very high-priced one, you know. Just a puppy, maybe." 



Tom thought a Avhile. and then told him about an Eng- 

 lish chap named Crossley, who Uved behind a tin-shop. 

 Kellnp couldn't get aAvay during the week, but the folloAv-- 

 ing Sundav afternoon he put on his black suit and took 

 the cane he had Avhen he was married, and told Susan he 

 was going for a Little walk. At last he found the place 

 and Crossley came to the door in his shirt-sleeves. He 

 dicln't stop for a hat. but led the Avay to the back yard. 



" Noh. soh; you're mistaken, 'e's not a puppy, 'e's a 

 dog: two A^'r old. 'Ere Dan, Dan! Dan-n-n!' 



Dan Avas oft' in a distant corner of the yard. Grossley's 

 A'oice seemed to grate harshly on his ear. He lifted his 

 head impatiently and resumed his occupation cleaning a 



Kellnp started to go. " No," he said, " I'm afraid he's 

 too old, he's too deaf: his coat isn't bright," and he made 

 his Avay to the gate. Then Crsosley caUed him back and 

 opened a little padlock, and out tumbled a fat, roUicking 

 puppy about six months old, full of grease and good na- 

 ture. KeUup fell in love with him right away. 



' ■ What do you ask for him, Mr. Crossley ?" 



••Well, tell the truth, sir, 'e's no good. Now take 

 t' hold dog there, 'e's wise. 'E knows a lot, and in the 

 woods — " 



"Is the pup for sale, Mr. Crossley?" . 



" Well, I teU you 'e don't know nothing. But Dan 

 there, 'e's, oh, 'e's got a sweet voice, an' a good—" 



"Say! What price— do you place— on that bright 

 coated puppy Ayitih black and -white markings? " 



