1 886.] Stay in Garenganse. 
seemed to receive a peculiar measure of joy. Our theme was 
the cross ; and though naturally he has a dull, heavy countenance, 
his face lightened up marvellously, and both mouth and heart 
were filled with the spirit of praise. 
That night I learned that my dictatorial ways had been that 
which had previously hindered my boy, and had produced only a 
lifeless confession. 
If we would drive sinners to Christ our failure will be complete, 
and our folly very evident. If we would lead them we must surely 
go before them ; and the sinner's Christ is only to be found at the 
cross, where all flesh is humbled to the depth of death. How 
wise Paul was to win souls when, in announcing himself to be the 
''chief of sinners," he declared the mercy of God to all. In 
how small a measure this precious wisdom hath place in me, truly 
the Lord knoweth. That very night the thought occurred to me 
that my boy would despise me, and serve me with less respect, 
seeing I had humbled myself with him. But very much the 
contrary has been the case, for never has he served me more 
joyfully and thoroughly than since then. I am reminded of the 
words of Michal, Saul's daughter, to David, and of David's 
reply, " I will yet be more vile than this, and will be base in my 
own eyes j and of the maid-servants which thou hast spoken of, 
of them shall I be had in honour. 
After this Dick became very anxious to learn to read and 
write, a study for which he was mentally unfitted. I did my best 
to instruct him, but he was so anxious about it that sometimes 
when he came before me to read he would so tremble with 
excitement that I had to send him away to some outside work. 
Latterly he began to complain very much of headaches ; fever 
symptoms set in, then great wandering of the mind, which 
increased so that for ten days he was quite insane, though active 
and vigorous. I had to do all but bind him, watching him night 
and day, and was the only one who had any power whatever 
with him. On the 2nd November he had so far recovered 
as to be able to sleep quietly at night, but during the day 
he went about in a stupid way, not a smile crossing his 
face ; yet occasionally I could see a tear stealing down his 
cheek. There was nothing for it but to give him plenty of hard 
out-door work. 
