Oct. 8, 1898.] 
FOREST AND STREAM. 
299 
Confabulations of the Cadi. — VII. 
THE CADI'S BIRTHDAY. 
There were life, activity and gayety around the hearthstone of 
the good Cadi. It was a. day of great domestic rejoicing with 
him and his family, and he had invited many of his friends to 
assist fn the function. There were outlying signs of the presence 
of a merry company. Two carriages, long since out of fashion 
and more or less lop-sided, weather-beaten and twisted from years 
of strains, ruptures and hard service, with a general air of de- 
generacy in their decline from boulevards and parkways to 
rough and muddy roads, denoted the presence of Moke and 
Ephraim, whose turnouts were the envy of the whole neighbor- 
hood, since for elegance they were peerless in that neck of the 
woods, inasmuch as there were therein no others within several 
immeasurable degrees of being their equal. A few cheap saddles 
were lying about here and there on the ground, while in a small 
lot close by a rare collection of knee-sprung, spavined and hide- 
bound horses were scraping up acquaintance with each other, 
each assuming an air of artificial sprightliness, vigor and supple- 
ness which their stiff joints and faulty gaits belied — a trait not 
exclusively possessed by horses. Some light harnesses were cast 
in a negligee manner on the fence of the horse lot, and they too 
showed signs of starting high in life and ending humbly. Pieces 
of stout string were used to correct a number of the harnesses' 
structural infirmities, and there were frayed parts which did good 
service without mending. 
Some gaunt foxhounds, setters and pointers were an integral 
part of the visiting contingent. They were ceaselessly trotting 
about, looking for any edible treasure trove which might be 
obtained honestly, much to the concern of the Cadi's one-eyed 
pointer, with gridiron ribs, which showed his resentment by many 
inhospitable growlings and fierce erections of the hair along his 
spinal column, trotting stiltily about from place to place to repel 
any possible attack on his own preserves, while beneath the brave 
front which he presented could be noted a firm purpose to run 
very fast and far if the danger became real— a trait not exclusively 
possessed by dogs. 
The day was the loveliest of summer days, the heavens seeming 
to smile on so much wholesome happiness on the earth below, for 
it was the Cadi's birthday. He had invited many of his friends to 
assist in the rejoicings over that most fortunate event; fortunate 
in many ways, not the least of which was a holiday to the children 
and a good, square meal for them withal; and a happy day for 
Hopie Jane in the felicitation over an event which had brought 
to her an adorable husband. 
There was some constraint among the visitors at first, as was 
natural on an occasion so great, coupled with a misgiving as to 
what constituted the right of procedure in assisting a man to re- 
joice over a circumstance concerning which he had been without 
authority either to promote or prevent; but this wore away after 
a few moments. 
THE VISITORS. 
Moke and his family seemed most at ease. Every time that 
Moke ventured a remark, his wife frowned on him fiercely, and 
told him how he could have better said it so and so, or how much 
better it. would have been had he left the remark unsaid. His 
three children, goggle-eyed little beauties who stood stiffly about 
sucking their thumbs and looking on at every movement in dazed 
wonderment, never moved until such times as they could get hand- 
somely in the way of some of the elders. 
Ephraim sat close by his wife, who was a very large, fat, heavy 
and pudgy person, who wore her gown very close fitting, and 
trusted to a tightly strained and much overworked corset to bring 
about a general harmony of figure out of the impossible; never- 
theless, under the belief that she was harnessed up into shape- 
liness, she beamed on the group with great complacency, though 
she was forced to laugh with great care and moderation, sigh- 
ing after she did so, and rapping her waist smartly with her finger 
ends to allay the sharp discomfort of the tight corset and to 
stimulate the impeded circulation. 
M. Lc Loup and his wife were carrying on a low conversation 
between themselves, and the furtive manner in which they looked 
at their neighbors indicated that they were commenting on their 
good points. Mrs. Le Loup affected the sesthetic, and wore a 
large hat which was a tower of egret sprays, ostrich plumes, 
flowers and festoons of bright ribbons, massed in profusion, and 
all built on a base which had sufficient material for three or four 
hats of normal size. She also wore a Scotch plaid gown. She 
professed to be a painter, and indeed had taken a course of les- 
sons in drawing and painting, her masterpiece being one paint- 
ing in particular, which her teacher had spent a day or two in 
touching up and recoloring after she had declared it finished. 
It was the chief of the family treasures, and was shown only to 
favored visitors who could appreciate true art. Her dearest 
friends had assured her that it was a shame that she should 
fritter her life away and squander her talents concocting fried 
bacon and corn pone; on the other hand, when among them- 
selves these friends sympathized in a thousand kej'S with poor, 
poor Le Loup for his misfortune in having a wife who daubed 
canvas, and left the dear man without the cookery and home life 
to which he was entitled. 
However, the good company was there to help the Cadi rejoice 
that he was born, and that he, by regular transitional stages, from 
being the humblest member of a family, the youngest son, had 
attained the dignity and honors of the head of a family, the 
father of eleven bright, white-haired children, and the husband and 
the pride of Hopie Jane. 
HOPIE JANE. 
There were savory smells of roast turkey in the air, and fra- 
grant other smells of baking corn-bread and strong coffee. The 
long table was set its full length with a mixed array of odds 
and ends of tin plates and earthenware, and knives and forks 
for the elders. Hopie Jane was greatly excited, for she was im- 
patient for the moment when the transformation scene should 
arrive; that is to say, when she could pull off her old gown and 
reveal the bright red new gown underneath which the old gown 
guarded. Then— what happiness to her heart!— she would witness 
the dismay of all the females present, their confusion and con- 
scious looks of defeat, and would note the innocent admiration of 
the gentlemen, for 
"Where none admire, 'tis useless to excel. 
Where hone are beaux, 'tis vain to be a belle." 
When at length the happy transformation moment arrived, Hopie 
Jane stood a vision of womanly loveliness. She had powdered 
and painted her face till it was a work of rare kalsomining art, 
with a heavy splotch of pink spread on each cheek to represent 
a hectic state of intense youth, while her new gown trailed the 
ground behind and hiked up in front, revealing two well matured 
feet with which she now and then took a hop, skip and jump, or 
cut an awkward pigeon wing or pas seul in her joyous exulta- 
tion, thereby showing ber No. 7 copper-toed shoes to great ad- 
vantage, 
"Her feet beneath her petticoat 
Like little mice stole in and out, 
As if they feared the light; 
But, oh, she dances such a way! 
No sun upon an Easter day 
Is half so fine a sight." 
THE TURKEY DINNER. 
There was much trouble in placing the guests, parents and 
children, at the table and keeping them placed afterward. The 
home children looked upon the visiting children as interlopers 
for the moment, and there were a few snarlings and earnest hair- 
pullings and face-scratchings in consequence, although but a few 
moments before they had been in a swirl of friendship. It was 
therefore .no small task for the captains and their commands, the 
mothers and their offspring, to secure uncontested seats and to 
establish silence. After many sharp orders, threats and cuffs, a 
kind of mutinous truce was established, all eyes being fixed on the 
head of the table as a group watches the camera when the pho- 
tographer releases the shutter. 
A nicely roasted turkey was the piece de resistance. It was 
placed squarely before the Cadi, who sat at the head of the 
table with the most benevolent poise and dignity. Alternating 
down the full length of the table were heaping plates of eggs and 
corn pone, with other heaps of sweet potatoes wherever there 
was room between dishes. 
All being set .-.\nd quiet, the good Cadi said: "My good friends, 
you cannot imagine how happy I am to see you gathered here to 
do honor to my birthday and to grace my table, by your presence, 
helping and joining me and my family in our rejoicings. To me 
the day is as you sec it; but it is the anniversary of a very proud 
day for my mother, although, on the other hand, after the 
first influx of joy at being my sire, my father had certain qualms 
as to whether he should feel proud or otherwise, as is the way 
of fathers who have doubts as to their sons being so smart as they 
are themselves. Nevertheless, on this day, fifty-five years ago, I 
consented to be born the good fellow who has lived among you 
all his life, and whom you now behold. 
"My mother, whom I revere as all mothers should be revered, 
was always a firm believer that I was* the very best fellow that 
could have been born on that day or any other, and that I had 
the qualities which make the great and famous men of the 
earth. In rhy early youth I said many bright, witty and pro- 
found things, which she rehearsed in mixed companies, always 
to the great delectation of those present. My father never ap- 
preciated me at my true worth; my mother always did so. How- 
ever, I am lucky that I am not some other fellow, and you are 
lucky that I am the Cadi— to the extent of this fine turkey at least. 
"We will dine on this noble bird as an interesting incident of the 
event, yet no mean incident withal, for the turkey, my good 
friends, is the noblest table bird of all the game birds when one's 
friends dine together with one. The ruffed grouse and a cold 
flagon are a bird and a cold flagon for two friends and no more; 
the woodcock can be eaten successfully even when one dines 
by one's self; the prairie chicken is good for men or dogs, and 
the quail is not to be sneezed at at any time. 
"But the turkey, yum! yum!— that is your true bird for a man 
and all his friends; for any man who has more genuine friends 
than can sit around a turkey is a man to be found only in a 
day's journey. Other birds may be kings or princes, but this, 
the turkey, is the emperor of birds. 
"He should be carved as delicately as if you loved him, after the 
manner in which the gentle Izaak Walton commends putting a 
frog on a hook." And here the good Cadi took the carving knife 
and fork in hand and gave them a graceful flourish right and 
left, placing a hand on each side of the dish with the carving 
implements pointing upward, continuing, "The slices should be 
cut clean and smooth and even as to thickness, though a little in- 
clined to thinness if your company is large; thicker if the number 
of plates will warrant it. The legs and wings should be taken off 
smartly with a couple of quick, accurate strokes to each, with a 
knife sharp as a razor, as you perceive this knife to be. Keep in 
mind that you do not give all light or all dark meat to one person, 
and if any one is such a barbarian that he has no preference for 
any particular part of the noble bird, to such you always serve 
the drumstick, after which he generally has a preference. The 
carving should always be done with ease— no sweating, no un- 
seemly struggle with the dead; no slipping of the bird off the 
dish on to the table or floor; all should be done with ease, grace, 
quickly, without hurry, and with the utmost delicacy, decency 
and neatness. 
"You will all watch the Cadi, good friends, and observe how 
he carves a turkey on this happy day, his own good birthday, 
made thrice happy by your good company." Saying which he 
firmly drove the fork into the turkey's well-browned breast, and 
nearly slashed off a leg at one stroke of the knife, excepting a small 
piece of fibrous tissue below the joint, which held the leg; turning 
his sharp knife upward, he gave a firm upward stroke, and being 
somewhat overwrought by his oration on the turkey, he used too 
much force— the knife flashed upward and split the good Cadi's 
thumb from tip to base. 
Then there was a peal of laughter around the table, as if the 
finest possible joke had been presented. The ladies, bless their 
hearts, laughed with the men, and tittered even after the men 
had ceased. There was blood galore at the head of the table. 
Hopie Jane tore up an old shirt and dressed the wound of her 
idol, promptly showing her bright red dress off to perfection 
while walking about and posing as she bandaged up the cut. 
When" repairs were completed, the Cadi subdivided the turkey 
after the manner of an ordinary person; that is to say, the 
turkey looked much as if it were carved with an axe in the dark. 
All had commenced eating, the children glaring each at the 
plate of his fellow to see that one did not finish to the prejudice 
or loss of another by securing a second helping too soon, when 
Moke said: "The slices should be cut clean and smooth and 
even, and the drumsticks should be taken off with a couple of 
quick strokes of the knife — ." 
Haw! haw! he! he! laughed the men, and the ladies chimed 
merrily in with as much vim as if the chagrin of the host was 
the happiest feature of the day. 
THE AMATEUR. 
The Cadi was imperturbable so far as exteriors indicated, the 
only sign being a lessening of his enthusiasm and blithesome- 
ness, yet not to a degree noticeable to his guests. At recurrent 
periods during the dinner, one or other of the party would refer 
to the best manner of carving a turkey, with the usual outbreak 
of merriment, displaying thereby how much native good humor 
and kindliness excel cultured tact and sympathy. 
"I think that there are amateurs in all things, and judging 
from the manner in which you carve your fingers, friend Cadi, 
I fancy that you are an amateur carver," said Ephraim. 
"Har'aTy such," replied the Cadi, kindly. "There is one im- 
portant amateur quality lacking." 
"Name it," retorted Ephraim. 
"I have not howled a protest, nor made the neighborhood echo 
with my ululations, nor asked; for a million advantages. I recog- 
nize the hurt as my own, and I have not blamed any one for it, 
nor have I asked any one to bear it for me, all of which is not 
amateurish, as you know it in the trap world," said the Cadi. 
Then he made a sign to Hopie Jane, who rose and went into the 
adjoining room, returning quickly with a demijohn of hard, 
native red wine, sweet and palatable to the taste, but with a 
wonderful hydraulic skull-lifting power if one ventured to take 
more than two wee sips of it. The Cadi poured out a glass of the 
dark red fluid for each of the elders, remarking, "My friends, I 
have been on earth now a great many years, and a next birthday 
is an uncertainty for all; for in celebrating one's llatal day one 
may be celebrating one's last; therefore I wish you to drink rny 
good health in real juice of the grape and tell me that 1 am a 
jolly good fellow if you do not need to borrow something iw. 
mediately afterward, for I am not so big a fool as I look." 
"We never thought that," said Moke, in all seriousness. 
"Cadi, good friend, we have known you these many years," 
said Ephraim, "and you have been our advisor, our referee, our 
peacemakes, our leader; you have filled the office of friend and 
wise man so well that you have won our esteem, our confidence, 
our affection. We toast your health, happiness and prosperity; 
also the health, happiness and prosperity of your wife u'tl 
children and all your other cattle, and hope that you will all live 
a thousand years." This was received with vociferous approval, 
and the red lightning was duly swallowed. 
"We were a moment ago speaking of amateurs, friend Cadi," 
said Moke, "Will you be so good as to give us your ideas of 
amateurs in the trap-shooting world?" 
A light shadow of annoyance passed over the Cadi's face. He 
deliberated a few moments, then said, "My good friends, I had 
hoped that on this day we would have talked more about myself 
than we have and less about other matters." Here Mrs. Le Loup 
nudged Le Loup, and said in a stage whisper, "I'll bet he means 
carving turkeys." "But since it seems to be your pleasure to talk 
only about trap matters for any length of time, I do not mind 
giving you my ideas on the subject which you mention. 
"First of all, there are. very few in the trap-shooting world to-day 
who are not professionals. In all other sports of any importance 
there is a central governing body, which keeps a close eye on the 
amateurs and the professionals, and even then it is a matter of no 
small care to keep the professionals out of the amateur ranks; 
for when left to himself the professional, according to his own 
claim, is always an amateur. There has been no such governing 
body in the trap-shooting world, it being considered that as some 
shooters ate hog and hominy, others baked beans and slapjacks, 
others again ate possum and sweet 'taters, or still others saw 
the sun rise earlier or set later, there were therefore differences 
which were irreconcilable. 
"The whole trap-shooting world has been run without any central 
governing body, and each club which gave a tournament adopted 
such policy as seemed best for its own immediate success, without 
any consideration whatever as to amateur and professional; or if 
it did so consider, it was for the expediency of the moment in the 
success of its own affairs and not from any consideration of the 
general good. It it said that the principles, governing amateur 
and professional competitions respectively, are not applicable to 
trap-shooting, the conditions being so different. What makes 
the different conditions? Sport is sport everywhere if it is sport. 
The principles of sport are alike in all sports. The trouble lies, 
however, in the fact that there never has been any real general 
classification as between amateur and professional in trap-shooting. 
Under any recognized ruling as to what constitutes a professional, 
nearly every trap-shooter in the United States is a professional. 
Nearly every one has shot in an open public competition for 
money; nearly every one has competed in public contests for 
money with professionals, and not a few have shot on public 
grounds where gate money is charged." 
"I think that you are going too fast and too sweeping in your 
remarks," said Le Loup. "How about a gentleman who has an 
income and shoots merely for the sport?" 
"A gentleman who shoots merely for sport can shoot for sport 
within the gates of his own club grounds. He can at other times 
and in other places shoot for targets only if he really desires sport. 
When you go to a baseball game, horse race, athletic games or a 
circus, you buy your ticket and witness the sport from your seat. 
You need not actually participate in the game to have your sport. 
When you put jour money up in a public competition, you are 
then doing precisely what the professional is doing. The differ- 
ence between you and a manufacturer's agent is one of degree and 
not of kind; you simply do part of the time what he docs all 
the time. It matters not if a shooter have a million dollars in- 
come, more or less; when he enters a public competition for 
money and shoots for money against all comers, he is to all intents 
and purposes a professional the same as a man who has a smaller 
income or none at all, and this under any ruling of sport wherein 
the amateur is really distinguished from the professional. Let 
us apply your line of reasoning to other sports as to amateur and 
professional, and all then are amateurs in like manner to your trap- 
shooters. The wealthy trap-shooter who shoots for sport when 
he can shoot for money generally looks very closely after the 
money features of the shoot, same as do other shooters. He usually 
keeps a score card, recording thereon what he shot at, what he 
broke, what he paid in, and what he won, but never the amount 
of sport which he has had. He adds his winnings to his revenues 
as an integral part of them, and when he pays his bills the afore- 
said winnings go just as far, dollar for dollar, in making his 
livelihood as do the dollars which he has earned or made other- 
wise. A man can be a professional in many things at the same 
time; a butcher, a baker, a^ candlestick maker — " 
At this juncture, Moke, who had been stuffing himself with eggs 
on top of good turkey, arose and threw an egg violently out of the 
window, spattering it on a side saddle which was lying on the 
ground outside, and sputtering furiously the while. 
"Why, what's the matter, Moke," queried the Cadi, in alarm. 
"Nothing much, Cadi. Zounds! Eheu! Eheu! By my halidom! 
Phew! I just came across an egg which had a birthday some 
fifty-five years ago, and I hastened to bar it, for 
" 'It is the month of June, 
The month of leaves and roses, 
When pleasant sights salute the eyes, 
And pleasant scents the noses.' " 
Bernard Waters. 
Utica, N. Y. — I have read every word of the Cadi's wise ad- 
vice, and I approve every word of it. I have taken the ground 
that the expert in anything should be admired; and, what is 
more, as you well said, and as I am in a position to know, there 
would be over 100 manufacturers' agents, but for the semi-amateurs, 
that are putting up the squeal, trying to undermine the honest 
man by offering to take care of a certain county or travel for 
ammunition only or a gun. I claim that the boom in trap-shooting 
is dus to the interest created by the men that are able to show 
where the sport of trap-shooting lies. 
It is the excitement, the exhilaration, or what you may call it, 
that starts a man's pulse beating at 140 per minute, 
D- Fu^ofcO, 
