Nov. 5, 1898,] 
FOREST AND STREAM. 
370 
r 
Confabulations of the Cadi*— XI. 
Teeth. 
"You will please come to order, gentlemen," said the Cadi, 
in firm official tones, "and I desire to preface the discussion by 
saying that there must be some definite business transacted at 
this meeting. You have dawdled through a number of meetings 
Without advancing a single step toward arranging the details of 
the tournament. No gossip or irrelevant discourse will be al- 
lowed unless I find it uncommonly interesting or instructive. 
What is your pleasure, gentlemen?" 
"Mr. Chairman," said Le Loup, "I move you, sir, that we 
settle first under what system the moneys will be divided. To 
that end T make it a part of my motion that we adopt the Rose 
system." The motion was duly seconded. 
"I offer as an amendment to the motion of the gentleman from 
Coon Hollow that we adopt the Jack Rabbit system," said 
Montague. 
"I offer this here amendment to the other amendment that 
these amendments adopts class shootin'," shouted Andy Coxey, 
in excited tones. 
"That's as far as we can go with amendments at present, 
gentlemen," said the Cadi. "All those in favor of class shoot- 
ing will say aye." 
Coxey and Ephraim said "Aye." No one dared to say "No," 
which is a common occurrence at meetings— so class shooting was 
adopted. 
"I have come to think well of class shooting," continued 
Ephraim, "for under it in practice nearly all the experts are 
bunched up in first and second, places, thereby leaving third and 
fourth moneys to us amateurs, to say nothing of dropping into 
a place alone." 
"I move you. Mr. Chairman," said Moke, "that we bar 
, manufacturers' agents." 
"I second Moke's motion, and don't you forget it," said Coxey. 
"I want to tell you fellers about my boy. You know he's only 
'twelve years old, but he's a heap smarter than most boys of twenty. 
He's taken to writin' lately, and he has some of the cutest idees 
you ever seen. He has been studyin' up on the professionals at 
the trap shoots, and he has my idees exactly to an allspice. He 
sent a piece to the editor of the Bazoo, and I don't mind tellin' 
you that 1 read the letter and I think it such a good thing 
that I want to read it here and let you know that the opinions 
of my boy is mine too, and I want it to go into the inscriptions 
of this here meetin'. Cadi, old feller, you wouldn't mind. read- 
in' this here letter for me, would you, old feller? I can read all 
right, but my eyes is bad sometimes:" The Cadi took the sheets 
of foolscap, and after several minutes of hard studying read the 
following: 
Egipt, Jewly 24. 
"mistur editur Man i Had a dreme ov a fabel The uther Nite 
and i waz in oure sheap paster 2 mende fensus and i Laid doun 
in The shaid on The gras wich i thort wud bea a gude thyng 2 
put in youre paiper wich i rite 2 yu notwithstandin. me an yu 
knose wot this fabel menes wen we rede it but a hole lot ov 
yure reeders dont know wot yu mene in The things printted in 
yure paiper so hens i dezire yu kan tel them wot this menes 
When yn meat them at swarrays and caffays and i name it a 
dreme ov a fabel and i begins it rite hear so yu wil no i hav 
begun 2 rite it. ther waz wunst a turnamyrit uppon a tyme 2 
wich Evry man an evry boy had a invite with a Gun, an tha cum 
with dimonts 2 shute an Lots ov munny besides. Mi dad waz 
thar 2 an yu bet he kan shute. mi dad's a shuter frum shutervil 
an dont yu furgittit. and. Sum ov the men wot waz at the turny- 
mint had sors Instid ov guns but not so menny had sors az had 
Guns. An the men with sors sord all the targits, and the men 
with guns smashed sum but not so menny az the men with 
sors sord. and tha sord an shot an shot an sord til the men 
] wot had guns got left, and the men with sors sord rite on an 
sord up the pockit bookes in 2 ov all the amitoors wich korsd 
them grate pane an then tha howld 2 hav the sors bard so az 
! 2 get sum sors ov thair owne an this waz dun an then the other 
men wot had guns got scart an wanted 2 fite but the men wot 
had sors only larft. But the men -with guns sed the men with 
sors coudnt shute no moar becors tha waz 2 hard 2 shute an 
waz ajuntz an thairafter it waz parst that tha cud shute for 
targits oanly wich woke me up an the morrul ov this dreme is 
2 plane 2 talk aboute. "Socrates Coxey." 
"Well," commented the Cadi, as he wiped the perspiration off 
his brow, "I do not remember seeing this published in the Bazoo, 
although I read it through very carefully each week." 
"It wasn't. The editor didn't have room for it. He told us 
so in a real nice letter. Here it is. Read it, Cadi," said Coxey, 
nervously, as he passed over the letter, which the Cadi read very 
> feelingly, as follows: 
Office of Baz^o^ July 25. 
"Esteemed Sir — Herewith please find your MS: entitled a -Dreme 
ov a Fabel,' which we return to you because it is not aya^able for 
' use in our columns. This does not imply that it is lacking in 
literary merit, nor that it would not be eagerly sought for by 
; other publishers. Assuring you of our most distinguished con- 
sideration, we are, dear sir, yours most cordially, 
- "Editor Bazoo. 
^ "(per Z.)." 
"That's a very nice, gentlemanly reply, and it is printed on 
very nice paper. But what in the name of all that's sensible 
is the meaning of the saws and guns, and guns and saws?" 
queried the Cadi. 
"Well, now that's funny too. I told my boy what you said about 
trap-shooting bein' a matter of teeth, and he said that you couldn't 
, mean nothin' else but saws, for they was a matter of teeth more 
nor anything else he knowed of, and he said he could write 
about saws till you couldn't rest. Isn't it all right, Cadi?" and 
Coxey's face showed anxiety as we awaited the answer. 
"It'll do," replied the Cadi. "It is much nearer the truth than 
many older than he can reach, and I am pleased to observe 
■ that he was courageous enough to sign his own name, a bit of 
bravery which is not at all common when men publish their 
opinions on controversial matters. We will now return to the 
motion. Are you ready for the question, gentlemen?" All were 
silent. "All those in favor of Moke's motion will signify it by 
the usual sign." All voted in the affirmative. 
In re Advertising. 
"Now, gentlemen, I would suggest that you give the matter of 
programme some consideration, for it is now high time that it 
was placed before the shooters of the country. Has the secretary 
taken any steps in the matter?" 
"I have attended to the most important part of the programme," 
Moke replied. 
"Be so good as to report upon it," said the Cadi. 
"I have written to ail the manufacturers of guns, ammunition 
and sporting goods, setting forth the many advantages to be de- 
rived from advertising in our programme, and I expect favor- 
able answers in a few days. I am sure that all the best-known 
manufacturers will take a page at least, besides giving us some 
valuable merchandise prizes. I have also written to all the sport- 
ing papers and secured all the free advertising we want in the 
shape of reading notices, and I have asked that they give us 
from one to thirty subscriptions as prizes too." 
"What were the alluring advantages that you set forth, which 
lead you to expect so much and so quickly?" queried the Cadi, 
as he filled his pipe with some rank uncured tobacco. 
"Oh, the same old advantages," Moke proudly replied. "The 
advantage of avoiding the sandbag or the boycott." 
"They both are equal to the same thing, and in time have 
the same result." 
"My boy says that things which are equal to the same thing 
are equal to each other," hastily remarked Coxey, who was an 
ultra fond parent. 
"Not always when your boy says it," said Moke, with irritating 
calmness. 
"I'd like to see you prove it, you cantankerous old ignoramus," 
retorted Coxey, with some fierceness. 
"You probably mean that you'd like to see me disprove it. 
That's very easily done. You are an animal, for instance, are you 
not, Coxey?" 
"My boy said that I was an animal of the marsupial breed or 
the mammal breed, I disremember which, so I suppose that 
I am," Coxey conceded. 
"An ass is an animal, is it not, friend Coxey?" continued Moke. 
"Yep, sure thing," again assented Coxey. 
"Then you and the ass being equal to the same thing are 
equal to each other, are you not?" and Moke seemed to be 
somewhat apprehensive as to how Coxey would accept the con- 
clusion. 
"That looks so, sure enough, though I know I hain't no ass," 
said Coxey. 
"Well, so long as you assent to the proposition that you are 
i (|ual to an ass, we will consider that the ass has no perjudices 
in the matter, and therefore we will take its assent for granted. 
Now, to convince you that you are entirely and hopelessly in the 
wrong, I will quote you what Mr. Herbert Spencer, in his 
"Synthetic Philosophy," says on this very point." Moke hemmed 
and hawed a time or two and continued: "Spencer says, 'For 
whether a quantified relation be or be not rightly regarded as a 
thing, it is unquestionably true that in the intellectual process by 
which relations that are equal to the same relation are perceived 
to be equal to each other, the concepts dealt with are the rela- 
tions, and not the objects between which the relations subsist; 
that the equality of these relations can be perceived only by mak- 
ing them the object of thought; and that hence the axiom, being 
established by the comparison of three concepts, is established by 
the same species of mental act as that which has for its terms 
substantive things instead of relations.' I think that you will 
admit now, friend Coxey, that you are wrong." 
"I'm dead wrong. I'm more than wrong. I give up. I 
had no idea that I was an ass, and that there were so much to be 
said on what appears to me to be a simple subject, but still 
if you leave out the donkey and Spencer it still seems all right 
to me." 
"You are all right, Coxey," said the Cadi, reassuringly. "All 
right on that point at least. Moke is bewildering you with false 
logic and smothering you with a stack of words. Returning 
to the point under discussion, the sandbag and boycott are much 
the same thing, and are largely of the boomerang order in due 
course of time. But how did you word your letters, Moke? I 
trust that you uttered no threats." 
"Not at all, or rather only by indirection," Moke replied. "T 
do not mind reading you the original draft of the circular letter. 
Here it is: 
Egypt, July 27. 
Messrs. Juvenal & Cicero, Makers of Blunderbusses, Cairo, Egpyt: 
Gentlemen — I beg that you permit me to call your attention to 
the fact that we are preparing to give one of the greatest tourna- 
ments- of modern times, and in furtherance of it we will have 2,000 
programmes printed, which will be distributed to the sportsmen 
of America, Asia, Africa and a small section of Europe. You, 
being men of rare intelligence, will readily perceive the great 
advantages to be derived from advertising in our programme, the 
rates of which are extraordinarily low, $10 for a full page, or 
$9 for a half page. Any merchandise which you see fit to donate 
will win our friendship according to the amount of it. It is un- 
necessary to call your attention to the advantages you will secure 
by purchasing our friendship and our influence in pushing the 
sales of your goods in this section. We will be pleased to hear 
from you at your earliest convenience, and beg to subscribe our- 
selves," etc. 
"Of course, the converse of that is that if they do not comply 
with your request they will not have our friendship and we will 
not push their goods. It is really a concealed threat, and you seem 
to presume not on the advantages that you offer, but on the dis- 
advantages which would accrue to dealers and manufacturers if 
they excite your enmity. Is that right, Moke?" queried the Cadi. 
"I might influence some trade," objected Moke. 
"That letter is a copy of the letter you wrote when we held 
our last tournament. How much trade have you influenced since 
then? What effort have you made to reciprocate the favors you 
received then? When the tournament was ended, all your efforts 
ended, and matters of trade went on in the same lines that they 
did before, and your influence and friendship ended also. Each 
of us uses the same ammunition that he did before, and I dare say 
that all of tts have forgotten who gave us advertisements and mer- 
chandise, and further we do not care who gave them. Speaking of 
influence, you have no more than any one else. Y'ou could not 
persuade a single one of us to change his load or his gun, and if 
you could not influence us, how much less could you influence 
strangers, even if you made the attempt, which is far from happen- 
ing, so long as an attempt implies any effort on your part. Out 
of all the 2,000 programmes, which will dwindle down to about 
200 when they are actually printed, or at least all that are needed, 
about 50 may reach the hands of the shooters. Give us your own 
opinion on the subject, good Moke," said the Cadi. 
"I do not think at most that we can find use for more than 100 
programmes, friend Cadi," said Moke. "But the manufacturers 
do not expect any real advertising in return. They look upon the 
money paid to us as so much money given away. When we 
secure one manufacturer as an advertiser, the others come in 
because they are afraid to remain out. A programme advertisement 
may he of some advantage to local advertisers, but it is not such 
to the great manufacturers, for in the first place the programmes 
go into the hands of men who are already much better informed 
through the advertisements in the sporting papers, and therefore 
have nothing to learn from a programme advertisement. Second- 
ly, the programmes are so limited in number that, no matter what 
class of people receives them, they reach but an insignificant few 
at best. This is a matter which we can talk over here between 
ourselves, but it is not a good matter for publication. Still, after 
all is said, we are not running the manufacturers' business, and if 
they think that programme advertisements pay it is not for us to 
say that they do not pay, for if we were to say so under the cir- 
cumstances we might be mistaken," and Moke made a most grew- 
some grimace at the Cadi as he concluded his frank admissions. 
"We add some of the advertising money to the stakes if it is 
necessary to do so," remarked Le Loup. 
"If we add the money to the stakes or to the treasury, it doesn't 
much matter how we get it," said Moke. "They have our friend- 
ship and influence all the same." 
"A friendship and an influence which are manufactured on the 
spur of the moment as a premise to trade pilfering are of no 
worth. The promise of influence and the implied threat to do harm 
all end with the close of the tournament. The power for harm 
is no greater than the power for good, and neither one, as repre- 
sented by the programme sandbag, is worthy of serious thought. 
These things, like many others which have been ' abused, are 
working their own cure. The aggregate returns of the sandbag 
has been thousands, of dollars in years past, not so much at 
present, and will be less in the future. Ah me, this wicked, 
wicked world!" and the Cadi crossed his hands on his bosom 
and looked upward with a look which comes only on the faces 
of those who are of the chosen. Bernard Waters. 
Philadelphia Trap-Shooter's League. 
At Wissinoming, Oct. 22, the Philadelphia Trap-Shooters' 
League held its contest on the grounds of- the Florists' Gun Club, 
under the auspices of the Forest Gun Club. 
Team match, 25 targets and handicap, known angles, six men 
to a team : 
- Clearview, 225. 
Harkins 1111011111111111111111111—24 
111111110111 —12—36 
Moore 1110100111001111111100011—17 
1111110110101 —10—27 
Miller 1111111001110011111111101—20 
1100111101111 —10—30 
Fisher 1100110111111110111101111—20 
111111011111 —11—31 
Myers 1011000101001101100101100—12 
011000010011 — 5—17 
Johnson 011101 11 10111111110110010—18 
100001011101 — 6—24—165 
Roxborough, 139. 
Pepper 0110101111111111011101011—19 
110011111 — 7—26 
Butler 1011111001001111111111110—19 
10111011 — 6—25 
Gyles 110111110110011 1111111011— 20 
11110101 — 6—26 
Cowan 0111101111111111 111110111— 22 
10101111 — 6—28 
Free lllOlllOllllOllllOlllllll— 21 
01111111 — 7—28 
McFalls 1111111111111111110011111—23 
11111110 — 7-30—163 
Southwark, 191. 
Fisher 1101111111101101111111101—21 
1111111 — 7—28 
O ' Brien 1111111111111111111111111—25 
. 1111111 — 7-32 
Ford 1110101101010001000101111—14 
110001 — 4—18 
Felix 1110111011111110111101111—21 
1111111 — 7—28 
Reed 11011011 1 Hill 11101111111—22 
0011110 — 4—26 
W oodstager 01110111100111 1O1111O01 11—18 
111111 'I — 6—24—156 
Independent, 165. 
W H W 1111111111111111 111111101—24 
111 — 3—27 
Ri dge 111111110111111111111 1111—24 
HI 3 27 
Whilcomb 1111101110111111111001111—21 
110 — 2—23 
Hotherall 1111101011111111111111111—23 
11- — 2—25 
Houpt lllllOlllllimmilOllll— 23 
11 — 2-25 
Landts ... .. 1111101111111111111111111—24 
11 — 2—26—153 
Florists', 174. 
Burton 1101111111111111100111111—22 
1111 — 4—26 
G O Bell 1010111011111111100101101—18 
0111 — 3-21 
Engle 1111010110111110110111111—20 
1011 3 93 
C Ball . llllOimilllllOllOOlllll— 21 
1111 —4-25 
Harris 1010011110111111111111111—21 
1011 — 3—24 
Anderson 1111111111111111111111111—25 
1111 — 4—29-148 
Frankford, 174. 
Bourne 1110111111111100111111111—22 
1111 - 4—26 
Redifer 0101111111111111111111010—21 
1110 — 3—24 
Betson 0111111011111111111101111—22 
0111 - 3-25 
Myers 1111111111111111010111111—23 
1110 — 3-26 
George 1001111110010111001111111—18. 
1111 — 4—22 
Kri er 1101011 101111011111011011—19 
1111 — 4—23—116 
Silver Lake, 180. 
Lane 1001011111011001111111111—19 
11111 — 5—24 
Apker .1001111111111111011111111—22 
11111 — 5—27 
Burt 0101100110011111110111111—18 
10110 — 3—21 
Mink lllOmilllllllOlOlllllOl— 21 
01111 — 4—25 
Humer 1111111100111111111110111—22 
11011 — 4—26 
McAfee 1011110011101111110110111—19 
11110 — 4—23—146 
Delaware River, five men, 188. 
Tones 1000111101110111111111101—19 
1100111111101 —10—29 
Craig 01011110000110001110101 00—12 
1101111111101 —11—23 
Smith milllllllllllllllllllll— 25 
1111111111111 —13—38 
Taplin 0001111011011110111111101—18 
• 001110100111 — 7—25 
Dorp 1010001011010110010111010—13 
011100101101 — 7—20—135 
Forest, five men, 165. 
Walker 0000011110100001111001110—12 
11001011 — 5—17 
Hancock 0111110101110110111101111—19 
10010101 — 4—23 
B en der 1111011111100100101111101—18 
11010111 — 6—24 
Van Nort 1110011101101111111101111—20 
01110111 — 6—26 
Morison 0100110111111111110111101—19 
00101111 — 5-24—114 
Wayne, four men, 139. 
Morris 1011011000110111111111111—19 
1101110110 — 7—26 
Morgan 0110100001010110111111011—15 
1110111011 — 8—23 
Green , 0100110111100111001100101—14 
1011010011 — 6—20 
Riotte "• 1110111101101111010101111—19 
010110101 - 5-24— 93. 
