16 
THE RAT. 
lay puffing and blowing on the broad of his back, with this 
precious grampus on top of him. All was darkness, when 
up came the big servant, followed by a lesser one with a 
candle ; in she went blundering, and fell flat on top of them. 
That was too much ; but clumsy as she was, she soon 
scrambled up, and released him from his counterpane by 
rolling her over, at which, he says, she gave a groan that felt 
for all the world like the threatening rumbles of an angry 
volcano. Our hero, however, had no sooner gained his 
legs, than there was a rat-a-tat-tat-a-tat-tat at the door, 
followed by a ring- a -ding -ding -a -ding -ding. " Lorks, 
marm," said the big servant, " if there ain't master ! — who'd 
have thought it V It has often been said that what is one 
person's meat is another's poison, so it turned out in this 
case ; for the servant's announcement, which made her 
mistress faint in reality, had the effect of bringing every 
one else to their senses ; and even the fat damsel rolled and 
kicked till she got on to her hands and knees, when my 
friend, by a powerful effort of physical exertion, succeeded 
in performing a chivalrous act by helping her on her feet. 
The master, who was altogether unexpected, was a man 
of asthmatical and acetic disposition, and had a somewhat 
quaint and dramatic way of expressing himself; yet, un- 
like his amiable wife, he had a great aversion to company, 
since he looked upon it as the annihilator of domestic 
felicity. He no sooner entered and saw the real state 
of afiairs, than, with all the brevity of Lady Macbeth, he 
requested the company to stand not upon the order of going, 
but to go at once ! To which request, with all the etiquette 
of good breeding, my friend responded by taking his hat, 
and making his bow, never more to return. 
Now, here was a scene of pitiable disasters, arising out of 
a little nonsensical display at seeing a dead rat ! Had the 
mistress given Master Bobby a cuff on the ear, and ordered 
him to throw it away, she would not only have shown 
herself a wiser woman, but have saved all the misery and 
expense which otherwise resulted. 
The fear of rats exhibits a mere childish weakness, which 
in parents, who ought to teach their children better, is highly 
reprehensible. What harm do they think a rat will do them, 
which is already more frightened than they are, and only 
