UNREASONABLE FEAK OF RATS. 
15 
one vast volume, to the evident satisfaction of all around. 
The fowls were disjointed, and they were all busily engaged, 
when there was one of the most tremendous squeals below 
stairs ever heard. All operations instantly ceased, and 
every one stared with breathless astonishment. Presently 
the hostess and my friend went to the door to ascertain 
the cause, when they found a terrible rushing up stairs. It 
was her hopeful son and heir, Master Bobby. " O mother," 
said he, ^'see what a jolly great rat I've caught !" at the same 
time holding up an enormous fellow fast gripped in a gin- 
trap. She slammed the door, and uttering a faint shriek, 
staggered backwards into her chair, and fainted away, or at 
least seemed to faint. All the party were on their legs, the 
ladies clinging fast to the gentlemen for protection. My 
friend of course tried all the little antidotes of which he was 
master ; such as bathing the lady's hands and temples with 
vinegar, pump- water, eau-de-Cologne, &c. ; but all to no 
purpose. Yet, what made the matter still more appalling 
was, that Miss So-and-So was fainting in the arms of Mr. 
So-and-So ; then her companion followed suit, and so the 
ladies dropped off one after the other, till it was quite clear 
that fainting was the order of the evening. As for poor 
Mr. Button, though himself a very diminutive gentleman, 
he was nevertheless the sole proprietor of a very large wife 
and six little Buttons, and in his ferocity a perfect lion-eater. 
His gaunt angel had fainted away at full length on the sofa, 
which roused him to the highest pitch of daring ; for, in his 
vengeance, he seized a mahogany chair to smash the enemy, 
and in brandishing it above his head one of the legs came in 
contact with a splendid mirror, and made a brilliant star in 
the centre ; but, unmindful of the accident, he still pro- 
ceeded ; and whether in imagination he saw the rat, or 
whether to frighten it I know not, but down he brought 
the chair with such a tremendous crash that off flew the 
legs, and there it sat bolt upright, like an old Greenwich 
pensioner without his stumps. My friend's inward laughter, 
however, was soon turned to something more serious, for his 
fat damsel, as if to show them all how to faint, raised her 
hands, and giving a most awful scream, threw herself plump 
into his arms, which capsized him, table, supper, and all. 
He fell across the upper legs, which flew off, and there he 
