SEWER RATS. 
187 
dresses like a gentleman on Sundays, an' goes to church with 
a watch in his pocket. Therefore,' says I, ^Jumper an' I have 
always earned an honest living in the sewers, an' so we mean 
to remain.' " " That was right, Jem. But still, if these sort 
o' fellows once take possession of the sewers, then we shall 
have Sir Richard Mayne down here on his hands an' knees 
poking his nose into every hole an' corner, and establishing 
an underground police to prowl the sewers night an' day ; 
an' if he does, then, Jumper, its all up with us." " I hope it 
won't come to that," said J umper. " Nor I, either, for that 
matter. But still there's no end to the depredations such 
fellows could commit. Now look you here, Jumper, how 
easy could they wrench off the traps, an' let the vermin into 
all the houses, both new an' old. There are plenty o' these 
dog- stealing chaps would do it, if 'twere only to keep up the 
trade of rat-catching, (fee. An' for the matter o' that, there 
are plenty of old drains, where, with very little trouble, they 
could get into the premises themselves." " That's very true," 
remarked Jumper. " An' then again, when there's a great 
poison trial, or what not, on at the Old Bailey, what's to 
prevent the prisoner's pals from undermining the place with 
gunpowder ? Why, there are plenty o' these fellows who bet 
wagers on such life an' death cases as would give 'em thousands 
to do it rather than lose ; an' when the trial's going against 
'em, blow up the place, judge, jury, an' all the whole blessed 
lot together. Talk o' Guy Faux, or the storming of Sebastopol, 
why they wouldn't be a patch on it." Beally, Jem, its very 
alarming." " I know it is," said J em. " But hark — Jack's 
coming with the dinner. Don't say anything about it before 
him, poor fellow, cos he'll only take to fretting." 
Talk of Belshazzar's Feast, or of royal and imperial enter- 
tainments, or of the barons of old, or City gorges, or turtle 
or whitebait dinners, or of a feed with the Mutual Com- 
munication Society, at the Star and Garter, Richmond, with 
a view of the country from the two-floor back — pray what 
think you of a blow-out of boiled beef and pease-pudding in 
the City sewers, with bricks for chairs, a cage full of rats for 
a table, and the place illumined, not with chandeliers, but 
three bull's-eye lanterns ? Those who have never experienced 
this delicate pleasure know nothing of the peaceful delights 
of it. At least, so say Jem, J ack, and J umper. 
