THE POLICE OF NATURE. 
243 
had run out of tlie house at the top of his speed, without 
his hat, to fetch the doctor — a corpulent gentleman, about 
sixty years of age, who resided about half a mile off. On 
arriving at his residence, he rushed into the shop like a 
madman. My dear sir," said the medical gentleman, who 
! happened to be present in his morning gown, and without 
his wig, " what on earth is the m^atter ? " " Matter," gasped 
the affrighted husband ; " my wife, my wife, — mad ! " With 
that he seized the doctor by the collar, and dragged him 
through the streets, to the great astonishment of all be- 
holders. Every intreaty for time and patience was fruit- 
less ! On he dragged him, followed by a motley grouj) of 
gaping spectators, till they were within two hundred yards 
of home. There they were brought to a standstill. But in 
vain did the asthmatical old gentleman expostulate against 
the impropriety of running him at such a rate ! The hus- 
: band began pulling and hauling him again ; v/hen the old 
i gentleman succeeded in grasping a gate-post, and clinging 
tight to it. " My dear sir," said he, " pray do consider my 
age, weight, and constitution ! And besides that, sir, what 
will my patients think of seeing me without either hat, 
coat, or wig ? " All was to no purpose ; for the gentleman 
pulled, and tugged at him till he v/as compelled to leave the 
I post ! At last the old gentleman came to the conclusion, 
1 that the best way was to get there as quickly as possible, and a 
i few minutes brought them to the lady's drawing-room, where 
I she vv^as seated, bathing the dog's wounds. The husband, 
without any ceremony, burst open the door, and dragged in 
the doctor, who threw himself into an arm-chair. There, 
sir," said he — " there is my poor maniac of a wife 1" '-'Maniac, 
Charles'?" said the lady. "Yes, maniac!" he roared. ^'I 
don't understand you," she replied. " Why, are you not 
mad he exclaimed. " Mad !" she reiterated, " why, what 
' do you mean No," said the doctor, who by this time 
i had recovered his breath a little ; " and were I consulted 
I j professionally to decide which was the maddest of the three, 
' I should not be long in coming to a conclusion." ''My 
! ! dearest love," said the husband doubtingly, " are you not 
f 1 mad ? "— " Mad, Charles ; no, certainly not ! "— Then I 
1 most humbly thank Cod for His mercy !" and turning to 
) ! the doctor, "Sir," said he, "from my inmost soul I beg of you 
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