302 
FOREST AND STREAM. 
[Oct, 14, 1^99. 
A Tempest in a Stubble Field. 
Several years ago, while pursuing a course of study, 
it was my custom to recreate every few days by a bout 
with the birds. In a good quail country, not too con- 
stantly shot over, it was frequently my luc-k to make a 
fair bag in an afternoon without tramping further than 
a pleasant constitutional. Not owning a dog, I some- 
times ])orrowed a neighbor's, but more frequently shot 
without any dog. 
The available dog w^as well bred, but miserably broken, 
and after a particularly trying time with him, it gener- 
ally resulted in my leaving him to enjoy the seclusion of 
his kennel during two or three trips and going it alone. 
This working alone made me expert in marking down 
dead birds and locating the survivors, and I soon be- 
came quite independent of that supposed necessity, a 
dog, and could tind and bring to bag birds in any but 
the heaviest cover. My sister became interested in my 
shooting, and begged for permission to accompany me 
on some short trip. Knowing where there was a covey 
of birds near tow-n, I promised her the desired pleasure 
the first pleasant day mutually convenient. 
A cool, bracing afternoon was selected, and the start 
was madt about 3 o'clock. Just as our expedition was 
getting under way we met an intimate girl friend of 
my sister coming in for a visit, who, with very little 
persuasion, was induced to join us. 
A block from the house we were hailed by two young 
ladies— sisters — from the porch of their home, who bid 
for an invitation to join the hunt, received it, and quickly 
fell in line. This performance, with slight variations, 
was repeated until four more girls were added to our 
party. It struck me then as rather strange that so many 
pretty girls happened to be so situated as to notice our 
departure and be ready to join us without any of the 
usual feminine procrastination and special preparation of 
toilet, and it was not until several days thereafter that 
I discovered it to have been what the street calls "a 
put up job." My sister had talked of the anticipated 
pleasure of a real quail hunt, her girl friends had begged 
her to get them permission to accompany us, and they 
had put their curly heads together and evolved a plan. 
They rightly feared objections on my part to starting 
with a large party, but well kncAv that I was at their 
mercy after the start was made. 
Out of town we filed, looking like a "select school for 
young ladies" taking the air, and soon reached the field 
the birds used. There was a gate quite convenient to us, 
but of this fact I made no mention. Climbing the fence, 
I laid down tlie two top rials and invited them one by 
one to "come on." With more or less effort they all 
finally reached my side of the fence. There is another' 
thing a woman cannot do besides throw a stone; that is 
climb a fence. 
All safely over, we started down through the field, with 
the gun in the center and the girls forming the right and 
left wings. For a few moments they tiptoed along, ex- 
pecting to find birds every step, and not doing so fell 
to criticising and reproaching me because they did not. 
Upon my assuring them that I often walked miles before 
finding birds, they jumped to the conclusion that there 
were no birds in that field, dismissed the subject of birds 
entirely from their minds and resumed their ordinary 
walk and conversation. 
As they strolled carelessly along, chatting and laugh- 
ing as only a healthy, happy lot of girls can, suddenb^ 
withottt a moment's warning, we walked into a fine 
covey of big, strong-flying birds, that burst out of the 
stubble and weeds with a roar like a foghorn. Every 
one of the girls screamed as loud and long as she could, 
and they fell into each other's arms for protection. 
A good deal shaken by the awful row they were rais- 
ing, I missed clear with my first, but pulling myself to- 
gether killed a long shot with the second barrel. I did 
not hear the report of either shot fired above the 
lamentations of those fear-stricken damsels, who never 
ceased to scream until compelled by exhaustion. 
Marking down the birds, I was glad to see them settle 
oft a little piece of flat ground covered with clover on 
the banks of an alder-grown branch, scattered as nicely 
as though placed to order. I foresaw a real "hot 
corner," and was ungallant enough to wish my fair com- 
panions all back in town. 
At first I thought it possible that they would desire 
an immediate return to their homes after their awful 
fright,' and determined to discover the igate to them, and 
do all else.inimy power to accelerate their retreat. But 
in this I was disappointed, for as soon as they ceased to 
scream and recovered breath sufficiently to talk, they at 
once fell to- assuring each other how "perfectly delight- 
fully fascinating" they considered the sport of bird hunt- 
ing, and how glad they each and every one was that 
she had been fortunate enough to come. 
Concealing as well as possible my disappointment, we 
resumed our hunt in the direction of my dead bird, and 
when I found it there was another scene. The girls 
seemed as imuch surprised as though I had found a large 
and well assorted box of caramels in the field at my 
actually killing and finding a quail. 
They inquired very earnestly as to what had killed it, 
some not knowing (small wonder) that I had fired my 
gun, and others, knowing that I had fired, but "sup- 
posed it was only to make the birds fly fast." 
They were overjoyed that "we had killed one," and 
finally grew so enthusiastic that I felt as though my re- 
cent thoughts had done them injustice, and that they had 
some pretty blue sporting blood after all: -but just then 
a girl with abno:rmally. developed tenderness . in the 
cardial region proceeded to express her, opinion to this 
effect: "It is a dear, sweet, darling little birdy, so 
thcr;e! And T think it is really too bad, and real cruel 
besides,' to kill the poor little innocent, : pretty thing, 
I do, indeed." ' ' . ' 
This sentiment met with , a warm - reception from my 
fair [ companiqjis, 3,nd started a condolence movement 
that rapidly assumed alarming pronbrtions, and would 
have resulted in having me then and there tenderly bury 
the "poor little bird" had' I notj in a determined manner, 
put it in my shooting coat pocket and ordered a general 
advance on the survivors. 
Another fence had to be crossed before we arrived 
at the clover field where the covey had settled, and 
when this was reached the girls held a consultation, 
which resulted in their ordering me to climb over, walk 
on slowly, and remember a celebrated Biblical char- 
acter-— Lot's w'ife. Obeying this order implicitly, I was 
soon joined by my fair companions, who had each in her 
own way surmounted the fence difficulty, and we entered 
the clover field in good order. I kept them well together 
until we had reached a point where I felt sure there was 
many a brown beauty lying close, ready to flush, until 
we were fairly in the midst of my expected warm corner, 
when one of the girls caught sight of a beautiful spray 
a goldenrod just ahead, and with a cry of delight rushed 
to it. 
There was more of it in sight, and apparently forget- 
ting that we had any other object in view than gather- 
ing goldenrod, they all scattered with exclamations of 
delight tow^ard the nearest spray. 
Thoroughly provoked, I shouted at them remon- 
strances in about the tone one would use to unbroken 
and headstrong puppies in the field, but before my 
vigorous protest could make any impression the first 
truant reached her flower, bent over to grasp the stem, 
when whir-r-r! from immediately under her face flushed 
a brace of birds. With a shriek of terror, she fell 
over backward, while the birds flew straight at me. 
Wheeling around, I let them pass over my head and 
then drcAV on them. 
There w'ere several girls in the general direction they 
were taking, and as I raiesed my gun they one and all 
threw themselves down, screaming, and imploring me 
not to shoot. I promptly discharged my duty to them 
by feeling profoundly sorry for the fright they were 
suffering, but as they were in no real danger, and my 
sporting blood was up in the nineties, and rising, I 
proceeded to make a pretty right and left on the birds, 
killing both. 
Crowding in fresh shells, I was in time for another 
bird flushed by a girl on my right that was in fact 
almost stepped on by her as she turned at the report of 
my gun to run back. 
Evidently badly frightened by the unusual scene in 
his covert, he made off with the speed of a meteor from 
the immediate neighborhood of the screaming girls. 
Clean killed, he was propelled by the momentum of his 
flight fully 2Sft. before striking the ground. The next, 
a pair, came from the rear, and I could only persuade 
the slowest of them to stop. 
By this time the girls were demoralized beyond the 
hope of doing anything with them, some running er- 
ratically around, others prostrate on the ground; but all 
shrieking and protesting, so I left them to their own 
devices, and paid strict attention to the business in 
hand, shooting at every bird that flushed when my gun 
was loaded. It veritably was a warm corner — the warm- 
est ever known. 
The birds had not run and were lying close, flush- 
ing just about as fast as I could work my gun, with no 
lost motion. 
A girl on my left started ±0 scramble to her feet, and 
flushed a bird that flew toward the girl in front. When 
I fired and killed it neaii}' on a line with her she dropped 
as though shot, raising her scream^ — which had been 
going constantly since the shooting began — several 
notches, w-hich brought it about to "high C"; this 
started a bird from the grass at her feet that flew to 
my right and was killed oA^er the heads of more pro- 
testing Dianas. A bird then flushed independently, near 
me, and flew toward the branch a few yards distant. 
As I swung around and brought my gun to bear on it 
a poor little frightened girl, who had crept up almost to 
me from the very line of his flight, and who, as she ad- 
mitted afterward, really thought that my shooting was 
being done Avith an utter and reckless disregard for the 
personal safety of my companions, turned and fled toward 
the branch (continuing) shrieking. 
Holding on the bird that was flying in a line Avith her 
retreat, and waiting until it got well above her head, I 
fired and killed. As my gun spoke the fugitive reached 
the banks of the stream, and there ran on a pair of birds 
that flushed from under her feet. Feeling sure that I 
Avould fire at them immediately, she chose what seemed 
to her the lesser danger and pitched headlong over the 
steep bank into a patch of Avillows on the Avater's edge. 
One glimpse of a pair of French heels Avas all I had, as 
I killed with my second barrel one of the birds she had 
flushed. 
Unquestionably, it was my duty to go immediately 
to her assistance; btit it was birds Ave had come out 
after, birds Ave had found, and birds I honestly con- 
sidered my first duty. In any event, no partiality should 
be shown, and the condition of all my fair companions 
indicated that when succor was attempted at all it Avould 
, have to be on a Avholesale plan. 
The fun Avas fast and furious for a fcAv moments longer 
and the shooting under less diffictflties, as every girl Avas 
noAV flat on the ground, doing nothing more distracting 
than screaming, and I had become entirely accustomed 
to that. 
The last bird killed flew over my shoulder and was 
shot too close. It fell squarely upon the head of the 
original sinner, the first girl to run out after the golden- 
rod, Avho was seated on the ground bent over, her 
• hands pressed tightly OA^er her ears, and like her com- 
panions A^oicing her displeasure. - ; 
EAfidently belicAang the bloAV from the falling bird, 
Avhich AA^as rather SAvift in its. descent, to be a shot 
striking her, she promptly proceeded to itnprove so much 
■ tipon the performance she had been giA-ing'that several 
of her nearest neighbors became dissatisfied -and dis- 
cQuraged Avith their OAvn efforts, left off entirely and 
. Avent to her assistance. . , ,. 
Waiting a moment and n'o" mort' birds flushing. T pro- 
ceeded to draAv' a long breath and look around. ' The 
apparent slain lay thick about me. -It .seemed I'd lived 
a long time 'in the few moments just past, and a sus- 
picion crept oA^er me that the feAv moments to follow 
wo'ql'd probabljr seem longer. 
' Not a reckless- nor careless* shot had been firtd,.'and 
no better score had I ever made shooting from one 
stand at quail, and yet, in spite of these facts to my 
credit, I felt that I would probably be censured by 
my unreasonable companions. Somewhat embarrassed 
and not sure as to Avhat was the best course to pursue 
under the circumstances, I concluded to cross to the 
other side of the stream and retricA'e the three or four 
birds that had fallen over there, thus giving my com- 
panions an opportunity to recover their composure. The 
bank of the stream had been hollowed under by the 
water, and when I dropped over, there sat the girl who 
had fallen (or jumped) over earlier in the action, as far 
back up in under the bank as she could crowd, with her 
hands pressed tightly to her ears and her eyes shut. 
She had stopped screaming, probably from exhaustion. 
I touched her on the arm, and she opened her eyes 
Avith a startled look, which changed immediately to 
one of injured indignation Avhen she recognized me. 
Considerably disheveled, and Avith her becoming turban 
hat tilted rakishly over her left ear. the dignified and 
haughty air that she at once assumed was not so crush- 
ing as might have been under more favorable circum- 
stances and conditions. 
When I had found a sloping place and helped her back 
up the bank, without a word of thanks she walked 
away to join her companions, while I continued my way 
across the stream to seek my birds. 
I did not hurry the search, as it Avas borne in upon , me 
that my conduct Avas being freely discussed and frankly 
condemned by a "committee of the Avhole" on the other 
side. I even entertained serious thoughts of deserting 
entirely under cover of the thick groAvth along the 'bank 
of the stream; but the thought of the killed birds scat- 
tered around over that lovely bit of clover more than 
the duty owed my fair companions restrained me. Re- 
turning at last, I found the young ladies all gathered 
together, apparently too much interested in conversation 
to even be aware of my existence. 
The temperature seemed to have suddenly fallen al- 
most to freezing. My polite request that they assist 
me in finding my dead birds elicited no other response 
than a positive refusal to "assist me in any way," spoken 
by my sister. 
Making the best of a bad matter, I searched the ground 
over carefully, finding in all nine birds, Avhich certainly 
did not represent all that I had killed. The greatly in- 
jured and deejjly offended young ladies then informed 
me, the sister acting as their spokesman, that they de- 
sired to call off the hunt and return to town, and wished 
me to lead the Avay, after removing the loads from my 
gun. This Avas painfully arbitrarj^ but after such shoot- 
ing as had just fallen to my lot I could afford to be gen- 
erous and submit gracefully to the will of the majority. 
RemoA'ing ihe cartridges and shouldering my gun, we 
marched for the gate, as I was afraid to set them at any 
obstacle in their present humor. 
Not one of them so much as noticed tne th& entire 
return trip to tOAvn. At my earnest and humble request 
they alloAved me to be heard in my OAvn defense before 
Ave reached the point where we separated, and 1 made a 
strong argument, but so far as appearances indicated 
Iheir A'erdict remained unchanged. They one and all 
looked the belief that I was a wild, reckless, unmiti- 
gated, deceiving villain — so there! 
The next hunt was made with the worthless, head- 
strong dog that was mentioned before, and he seemed 
by comparison pretty good company. We had some 
niksimderstandings, and even a personal difficulty or 
two; but I did not have the misfortune to fall so low in 
his estimation as I had succeeded in doing in that of 
my companions of the higher order of intellect, for we 
did manage to come in on speaking terms. 
Lewis Hopkins. 
A Delinquent Narrative. 
Editor Forest and ^Stream: 
A kind of literary piracy has been designated by some 
mild critic as "unconscious assimilation." As it is applied 
to persons who write things the phrase is quite as specific 
as it would be to say that those who eat, drink and respire 
linconsciously assimilate, for the mental process of diges- 
tion and appropriation is quite as common as the gas- 
tronomical or the respiratory. It would doubtless be im- 
possible for any civilized person to speak or write a 
dozen sentences without assimilating somewhat. 
Thus and therefore we are all assimilators, but as to 
the conscious or unconscious part of the process of appro- 
priation, as nearly as I can assimilate the theory, there 
opportunity for the compilation of more words than I 
can afford to have published, at my own expense. It 
would seem that much depends uijon the diet assimilated, 
for I have heard it said, or seen it stated very wisely, 
that the ox is a product of the pasture- — a conjecture that 
ought to meet Avith general appropriation, particularly 
Avith those Avho hunt, fish and foAvl. Exterminatory pere- 
grinators who have "roughed it" by camping out, and 
Avho have tried to assimilate the results of the chase, 
cooked by themselves, must have succeeded, or perished 
from the face of the earth. And yet there may have been 
instances when they. did both, simultaneously, 
"The mountain sheep are sweeter. 
But the valley sheep are fatter; 
We therefore deem it meeter 
To carry ofif the latter," 
and 
"Upon what meat doth this our Cjesar feed 
That he hath grown so great?" 
are mere fragments of ancient lore, but they go to show 
that even the ancients realized that 
: "You may break, you may shatter the vase if you will— 
The scent of the roses will cling to it still": 
also that 
You may bake, you may 'batter the fjawl as fQu will— 
The mud-heii's aroma will cling to him still. 
It is perhaps a somewhat extraA^agant appropriation of 
space here to admit that the last couplet is an off-hand re- 
sult of assimilation, not wholly unconscious. I am not 
good at "these numbers" or rhj'mes, and I identify them 
so that no Ignatius Donnelly will tamper Avith them some 
