460 
FOREST ANiD STREAM. 
tDEC. 5, 1963- 
FOR 
SERVICE OR SPORT. 
UNITED STATES CARTRIDGE CO. 
LOWELL, MASS. 
Agencies: 
497-503 Pearl Street, 35-45 Park Street. New York. 
114-116 Market Street, Sa-n Fra.ncisco. 
constantly employed in the manufacture of blowguns and darts, 
bows and arrows, boomerangs, harpoons and fish-hooks; and, 
though their total output was enormous, it was much of the time 
less than the demand. 
As easily may be conceded, this perfect development of sport 
and manufacture could not have been attained without a special 
literature devoted to it. It had that literature. It had quite an 
extensive literature devoted to every branch. 
Some of the sportsmen's journals had been identified with 
the progress of the sport from its infancy, and they were most 
important factors in promoting its gro\rth progressively and on 
correct lines as to methods, sound knowledge as to equipment, 
and true teachings as to ethics. 
Thus, in the establishment of sport as an institution, three 
different branches were coincidentally established, each highly 
specialized, namely, sport as represented by clubs and individuals, 
by manufacturers, and by literature. Each was mutually ad- 
vantageous to the other, and each reciprocally conferred benefits 
to the others. 
Long ago, in Blowland, there was a year of national, impulsive 
enthusiasm in blowgun competition. The people at large were 
actuated by a desire to decide which were the best marksmen, 
and coincidentally who could blow longest and hardest. The 
old blowgun clubs were aroused to activity, and new blowgun 
clubs multiplied like mushrooms. There was competition 
throughout the land. Each club was eager to hold a tournament, 
or "game," as it was known to the sportsmen of Blowland, that 
term being pecuharily applicable to many of the competitions held 
in some sections. 
The first "game" of that year was given in the springtime by 
a club whose secretarj- was energetic and of original ideas. He 
was an ardent admirer of sport and sportsmanship in the abstract 
and also in the concrete, when, under some hocus-pocus of 
competition, he could commit some other fellow to pay his 
expenses. 
One morning, in his well-ventilated country apartment, after 
a profoundly thoughtful, sleepless night, he sat him down at 
his table and wrote 159 letters, as follows: 
Wolf Cross Roads, Isle of Blowland, April 1, 1776. 
Dear Sir— The Blowhard Blowgun Club, of this thriving city, has 
decided to give a "game" of marksmanship, and to that end 
claims the dates of May 1 to 10. The members of the club are 
all gentlemanly blowhards, as you know, and, moreover, they are 
a very dignified body of men, as shown by the policy presented in 
this letter. They are enthusiastic in promoting general skill in 
the use of the blowgun to the end that our beloved land may 
have a citizen soldiery ever ready to defend it against the in- 
vader, that better laws may be enacted for the preservation of our 
valuable game birds, and that there may be a general impetus 
given to the promotion of better acquaintance and good fellowship. 
We know that your esteemed firm is in deep sympathy with our 
club purposes, and frankly I will say that I think that the 
members of the Blowhard Blowgun Club deserve it. We first 
and last have done a lot for yon. We have used your goods 
entirely for your sake, and not because they were of any use to us 
personally. I will see that your act is advertised in all sports- 
men's journals. Every one of our members is a user of your 
, a fact which I submit for your careful considera- 
tion. I am sure you would not care to unpleasantly jar the deep, 
deep esteem they now have for you. I know of one member 
of our club who walked thirty miles over muddy roads, out of 
bis way, to demonstrate the worth of your goods to a man who 
was actively unfriendly to them. Another member sat up all 
one night in a ceaseless effort to discover some new idea to 
present to the public in your favor. This is a fair sample of our 
unselfisb loyalty to you. In view of all this, we are now anxious 
to have you donate something to add to our "game," and tliis we 
expect to accomplish through the medium of this letter. I have 
faith that you will send us an article of sterling worth; perhaps 
one of your very highest grade. I have great influence with the 
sportsmen's journals. I beg, my dear sir, to subscribe myself. 
Yours, devotedly, 
S. Pumpkin Vine, Sec'y B. B. C. 
"Heads, I win; tails, you lose," muttered Pumpkin. 
Then he wrote a circular letter to each one of the sportsmen's 
journals, as follows: 
Gentlemen: 
The Blowhard Blowgun Club has claimed the dates May 1 to 
10 for our tournament. Please publish that weekly in your col- 
umn of fixtures. I enclose advance sheets of our "game" pro- 
gramme, which you no doubt will be glad to publish as a matter 
of news. Please publish in full. It will not take over a column 
of your space, and it is for the good of sport. We will have the 
programme ready to mail in two weeks, when you might notice 
it again. I am very busy now, and wish that you would make up 
a note or two each week about this "game." It is going to be 
great. Cannot you give us an advertisement for our prograname? 
It reaches a class who are deeply and passionately fond of litera- 
ture, and a friendly word from us, if we happen to think of it 
again, would bring you a fortune. Our rates are: One page, 
.$25; one-half page, ?15; one-quarter page, $10, strictly in advance. 
Please give us a subscription or two as a special prize. We hope 
that you will not fail to send a staff representative to our "game," 
otherwise we will feel unkindly toward you. Please put mc on 
your complimentary list. I have a well-broken rabbit dog which 
I will sell cheap. If you know of any one who wants a first- 
rate puppy, mention mc. What is the best cure for mange? I 
will expect your ad. I am a great admirer of your journal. Our 
club members are lovers of pure sport. 
Yours devotedly, 
S. Pumpkin Vine, Sec'y B. B. C. 
The recipients treated the circular communications with that 
calmness which comes from long habit in such matters. 
In the blank space of the circular letters sent to the manufac- 
turers, the secretary inserted the name of such articles as the 
addressee manufactured. The plea on which the letter was based 
was false in the main, or at least almost wholly imaginary. A 
few of the victims, however, responded favorably, some out of 
pure kindness, some out of a fear that rival manufacturers would 
respond favorably and thereby purchase the club's friendship 
away from them, and some again out of fear of a possible boy- 
cott. Therefore, on the day of the game there was a varied array 
of merchandise prizes, blowguns, shooting jackets, ammunition, 
cases of whisky and beer, field glasses, barrels of flour, coal, 
crockery ware, pictures, etc. The home merchants were pressed 
the hardest, and responded more uniformly, for they were more 
directly amenable to the force of a boycott, and of the persuasion of 
the blowhards. 
The merchandise event, the prizes of which were all collected 
on the plea of furthering the sport, had a $5 entrance fee, and as 
there were one hundred entries, the total receipts concerning it 
were ?500. And this money the club put into its treasury. The 
true status of the merchandise transaction was that it sold the 
merchandise for its own use, though it was secured and donated 
under the plea of sport for the multitude. 
The success of the Blowhard Blowgun Club quickly spread 
abroad throughout the land, and nearly every other club in the 
land immediately adopted the same identical methods. The 
proposition, reduced to simple terms, was this: We are to hold 
a tournament; we ask you to donate some goods for the benefit 
of the sport, which is really for our treasury. 
It so happened that in the summer of that year, an eminent 
blowgun manufacturer, Elijah Stubtwist; a foreign sporting 
editor, M. Quill, and S. Pumpkin Vine, met in Pekin. They, 
like all other men of large revenues, desired rest, comfort and 
change during the warm weather; therefore, they journeyed 
abroad. They greeted each other with pleasure, sought a nearby 
cafe, where they comfortably ensconced themselves abo'it a table 
and each ordered a glass of ice water. After some talk of home, 
Stubtwist said: 
"How did your 'game,' in foreign lands called a tournament, 
succeed, Mr. Vine?" 
"I am soi-ry that I have to report that it was a failure, sir," 
replied Vine. "We lost quite a lot of money." 
"Of course, of course," remarked Stubtwist, "that is to be 
expected at a merchandise shoot; everything donated. Well, 
anyway, I suppose that you and all the members of your club 
are using the Stubtwist gun, and are still sitting up nights think- 
ing of its wonderful excellence. I have not noted the slightest 
advance in my trade in your section, nevertheless. But, tell me, 
Mr. Vine, why did you write to all my rival manufacturers about 
their guns in precisely the same tenor that you wrote to me 
about my gun? Were you really promoting sport, as you said 
you were, or were you grafting?" 
"Why, er, er, those things are merely the accepted fictions of 
sport, and are commonly considered as being all right," replied 
Vine. 
"All right by whom? Not by the donors, I am sure. Do you 
mean to tell me in all seriousness that you would perpetrate and 
maintain a fiction to secure a valuable gun or anything else?" and 
Stubtwist looked at Vine rather sharply. 
"Certainly," replied Vine, with perfect composure. "They all 
do so when they can. As a custom, it does much in the good 
furtherance of sport, because it brings men into competitive 
action; it upholds an institution which consumes your goods, and 
it fosters friendly rivalries, which guarantee its perpetuation." 
"But how does it help sport, if I give my goods to you? I 
already have all the cash orders I can supply. Suppose that I 
gave a gun to every lorn, Dick and Harry who came along with 
a story similar to yours— how long would I have any business a"? 
all? It is true that I know you personally, but I do not know 
anything whatever to substantiate the claims which you made to 
me. I cannot perceive how it helped me in any way to give you 
a gun; but I think that I can perceive how it helped you quite a lot. 
\ou did not do a single one of the things that you promised to 
do for me, and in all probability you never intended to do so; 
nor had you the power to do so even had you wished. You 
assumed a power and importance that you did not possess. You 
had no more influence than any one else. There is, moreover, no 
reason on earth why your club or any other club should come to 
me either as oracles or mendicants. True sportsmanship is not 
based on pauperism, nor on methods of pauperism; nor is it 
dependent on chicanery for its best activities. A true sportsman 
is as scrupulously careful in matters of business as any other 
gentleman is. Indeed, he is too proud-spirited to accept a gra- 
tuity from any one, even if it is cloaked with all the forms of 
a commercial transaction. Let me further call your attention to 
the fact that what you so loudly proclaim as a sport is run by 
you as a commercial proposition. You endeavor to run it on 
lines which will bring to you a revenue; and if you succeed in 
making some money, do you give it away to the first person 
who comes along and asks for it in the name of sport? All 
"games" are not so run, but the majority are. That is all right 
if they run as they are and for what they are. It is all wrong 
when they ask for chai-ity for sport, which on analysis is 
profit for themselves. As between your club cashier and the 
public it is a money matter, pure and simple." 
"Can I take your ad. for the next issue of the Shooters' 
Gazette?" queried Quills. 
"What special benefits has your paper to confer? In what way 
does it offer advantages to me?" queried Stubtwist. 
"Why," replied the sporting editor, "it is of inestimable and 
constant value to you. The benefit to you does not commence 
with the mere incident of the publication of your advertisement. 
The Shooters' Gazette fulfills a double mission. It is a public 
educator in matters of sportsmanship and wholesome recreation. 
Beginniiag with the boy or mature man, as the case may be, it 
educates him correctly and purely in matters of sport in all its 
branches. Without my paper and others like it, the greater part 
of the present-day shooters would still be using muzzle-loading 
blowguns to shoot birds, and beanpoles and cord to catch 
fish. You, as a business man, should be keenly alive to the 
value of an organ which in sportsmanship educates pupils from 
the elementary stages up to accomplished graduates. These are 
the people who buy your goods. When you advertise, it further 
calls direct attention to what you have to offer; thus you are a 
beneficiary directly in two important ways. And yet there are 
few sportsmen who trouble themselves as to how we manage to 
publish our paper or pay our bills. But we are frequently con- 
fronted with a proposition something as follows: Let me illus- 
trate it in this wise: I am A; the other fellow is B, who gets the 
goods, and C, yourself, represents the donor. B, who gets the 
goods, says to C, the donor, 'It will be a great bargain for you 
to get a free reading advertisement with A, and if you will give 
me a gun I will see that you get it; for, to promote the sport 
and to retain my friendship, A will gladly publish the story of 
your munificent generosity, which I will write to him, thus you, 
C, will be paid by A for goods received by me.' Between A and 
C, there has been no transaction whatever. I, under the flimsiest 
of silly pretenses in this silly juggle to secure something for 
nothing, am supposed to satisfy both parties. If that is a good 
principle, why not introduce it into business transactions gener- 
ally? But I understand, Mr. Vine, that after all the free ad- 
vertising I gave your tournament, you destroyed the scores of 
your 'game' so that I would not receive them. Is that true?" 
"Yes, that is true," replied Vine. "Why did you not have a 
representative there in person to get them?" 
"For the same reason that you sent your free advertisements 
to me by mail. You did not deliver your advertisements to me in 
your own proper person, nor was it at all necessary that you 
should do so. To assume that we should pay a staff representa- 
tive $25 or $50 merely that you might hand him the scores is 
the height of doddering babble. We are supposed to know how 
to run our own business. At all events, it seems strange to me 
that you would accept favors to which you had no special claim, 
which were of material value to you, and in return behave so 
currishly." 
"I have the goods, anyway," remarked Vine. 
"You have more now than you will have in the future," re- 
marked Lord Stubtwist. 
This is a simple story of a mythical land of the blowhards of 
Blowland; and it has been said by some very wise men that those 
gentle folks have been scattered over the face of the earth, 
and that the race is far from being extinct. Bernard Waters, 
