622 
THE TROPICAL AGRICULTURIST. [March i, i88g. 
was voted by the society that rich land would not 
do for tomatoes. Another man told about a little 
vine on a poor red spot in his garden from which 
he had gathered a peck of nice red ones. He did not 
tell about having buried a dead cow on that spot a 
year before. It was voted by the society that poor, 
red ground, the redder the better, to give a fine color, 
was the kind of soil for tomatoes. 
Of course there were mauy skeptical cusses in our 
town who snickered at our enterprise and laughed at 
our society. One old negro politician, in a speech, 
went so far as to use this language: "What's all 
dis I hear 'bout raisin vegetables to sell? Now dat 
will do for dese ha'r-pin-legged dudes 'bout town to 
be carryin' on dis dude farmin', raisin' Tom Thum 
peas and permattuses, but it won't do for de genewine 
farmer." It was too good a thing for the boys to 
miss, so they dubbed us dude farmers and it stuck. 
But I was not intimidated by jeers or ridicule. I 
pushed along with my work, built extensive hot-houses, 
coTered my land with cold-frames until it 
looked like a Bulgarian army was camped 
upon it. I thought I had better study up a little 
on gardening, so I got a quantity of books. I had 
not read more than half through before I learned 
that I would have to know a great many things. 
In fact, I would have to become a scientist. I found 
out I would have to study botany and learn the 
fuuctions of the stamens and pistils — I supposed to 
keep the pistils from going off and hurting something ; 
that I would have to study etymology and become 
personally acquainted with bugs and worms, though 
I could never see what the Lord made them for, 
except in the case of crickets and redworms for fish 
bait. I found out I would have to study biology to 
know what to buy, cronology to know how to keep 
the crows off, astrology to know when the moon was 
in the right place for the seed, geology to know bow 
to guide a mule, and pathology to know how to make 
the business pay, I crammed like a sophomore trying 
to grease through a commencement examination. 
During the time I was going through these 
scientific researches I notised every day a poor man 
passing my place, driving a dump cart, hauling manure. 
He was going to " truck-farm," as he vulgarly called 
it. I was sorry for that man. He was very poor, 
with a large family — sixteen children, all boys, but 
fifteen. I thought it would be an act of Christian 
charity in me to disuade him. So one day I stopped him 
and said: " John, is it not rather a hazardous business 
for you, with your large family, to undertake a scientific 
occupation like this ? Why, my dear fellow, you do, 
not know the difference between a rhynchopores 
(curculio imperialis) and a trilobite of the early zoic 
era." He said : " No, I don't. But I tell you what 
I does know. If you puts plenty of manure on the 
ground and works it right, it always brings truck." 
Of course, I reasoned no longer with such gross 
ignoranoe. 
Well, time flew on. I had a world of beautiful 
plants. April came at la9t. I got a regiment of 
negroes and put them in the field, and such a field. 
It was a lovely, red, stiff clay, that might have 
sprouted a pea if the pea had not first opened its eye 
to see what kind of soil it was in. Toward the last 
of April I saw a little yellow, sickly bloom. I struck 
a stick up by it and walked round and round it every 
day, putting in my botany. Would even go out at 
night to see if the " sweet influence of the Pleiades " 
was doing it any good. About the fourth night a 
remorseless worm came up out of the earth and it was 
no more. But the amount of entomological satis- 
faction I had in dissecting that worm fully repaid 
me. A drouth came on in May. The plants got 
sick. So did I. By the middle of July I was through 
with the crop, or rather it was through with me. 
For ray six months' labor I realized the magnificent 
sum $1.00. 
In that day of tribulation I found out there was 
the one ology I had not studied, but which I needed 
more than any — that was theology. If my wife had 
not been a Methodist 1 would have "cussed." I 
haard that many did " cues," but it was mostly me, 
for all had followed my advice and example. There 
was one man who did not known the difference 
between a rbynchopores (curculio imperialis) and a 
trilobite of the early zoic era. He made money. 
But I had one year's experience. I made this entry 
in my memorandum book : " Tomatoes need rich 
ground and plenty of water." I determined to try 
again. The next year I put a ton of cotton-seed 
meal to the acre, harrowed the ground flat and dam- 
med up every place where the water could be held. 
I then waited for the rains. They came in the 
greatest abundance. It was the spring when the people 
of Cincinnati took to the tree tops to get out of the 
way of the Ohio Kiver. I was happy. I waded out 
to see my plants swim. They looked nice for about five 
days, but when the waters subsided and the sun came 
out hot they got sick. So did I. When I gathered 
and shipped the crop I balauced my book and found 
I had lost $200. But I had another year's experience. 
I was getting a little shaky, but I determined to try 
again. I dared not quit. I stood appalled before the 
storm of ridicule which 1 saw gathering in the eyes 
of the ungodly jesters. If I failed again I would have 
more time to prepare to skip the town. I made another 
entry in my memorandum. It was this: "Make a 
garden of your land; drain well; treat as you would 
a garden and plant many things." 
The third year I moved as cautiously as a kitten in 
paper shoes. I put one acre in tomatoes, about the 
same in cucumbers, a smaller area in beans, cantaloupes, 
Irish potatoes, radishes, spinach, etc. I succeeded 
beyond my expectations. I found money in every 
crop. The cucumbers brought about §160 to the acre ; 
the cantaloupes at the rate of $250 ; the beans about 
$130, and from the one acre in tomatoes I sold over 
$900 gross. They were shipped mostly to Chicago and 
Minneapolis. I was satisfied now. I need not fly to 
the frontiers an exile. I had saved my reputation 
and demonstrated tbe fact that there was money in 
dude farming. — Southern Planter. 
[We reprint the above as an amusing caricature of 
pretended science in farming. But we add a Paper 
which shews what books and newspapers have 
done for farmers. — Ed. T. A,~\ 
Agbicultubal Reading. 
Many of our practical farmers think that time 
spent in reading newspapers is lost. Even papers 
devoted to the special work of the farmer are con- 
sidered of little avail. "Book-farming," if not as 
much decried as formerly, is still neglected, and 
many men still think that it takes little education 
and intelligence to make a farmer. A successful 
farmer cannot be made by the education of the schools 
alone but it will also take a long time and much 
crude thinking to make a successful farmer without 
education, reading and books. To make a thoroughly 
well-informed, skillful, successful farmer, requires as 
much brains and study as the most technical trade 
or highest profession. The world is full of ignorant, 
slipshod actors in all occupations, from the pulpit 
to the field, and each has its share of pretenders 
and shysters. When, from want of ability or oppor- 
tunity to get early and systematic agricultural train- 
ing, the farmer feels, as he ought, his deficiency, 
the newspaper, and especially the agricultural paper, 
offers the cheapest and most successful means of 
securing sufficient agricultural information for a sen- 
sible farmer to secure fair success in his business. 
Continual and careful reading of current agricultural 
literature and sound thinking and thorough examina- 
tion of what is read, will enable a reasonably intelli- 
gent farmer to gather much of the scientific and 
practical relating to his farm and crops. The editors 
of agricultural papers will collect, examine and pre- 
pare for their less educated readers all that is ab- 
solutely necessary to understand about the land crops 
and stock of the section where they circulate. In 
this way, the intelligent, but uneducated farmer may 
arm himself against deception, and at the same time 
take advantage of the knowledge gained by others in 
years of study, prepared by the editor to be received 
understandingly, and acted upon in his fields and on 
his crops. We know an unlettered man who was 
