Feb. t, 1895.] 
THE TROPICAL AGRICULTURIST. 
5^5 
Blantyre Mission Station occupies a very home- 
like scene, which is not easily surpassed. — Nos- 
DAMA, Blantyre, B.C. A., September 28th, 1894. 
[So rarely does an article reach the gardening 
press direct from Central Africa — the "land of 
the future" it has been called — that we have 
pleasure in giving a leading position to the inter- 
esting communication of " Nos-dama," from 
whom we hope to hear again. — Ed. " Journal of 
Horticulture. ] 
TEA AND SCANDAL. 
Monody ox a Tea Kettle (By S. T. Coleridge, 1790.) 
1 
Oh Muse, who sangest late another's pain, 
To griefs domestic turn thy coal-black steed ; 
With slowest steps thy funeral steed must go, 
Nodding his head in all the pomp of woe ; 
Wide scatter round each dark and deadly weed, 
And let the melancholy dirge complain, 
(While bats shall shriek, and dogs shall howling run,) 
"The Tea-kettle is spoiled, and Coleridge is undone." 
2 
Your cheerful songs ye unseen crickets cease ; 
Let songs of grief your altered minds engage ; 
For he who sang responsive to your lay, 
What time the joyous bubbles 'gan to play, 
The sooty swain has felt the fire's fierce rage. 
Yes, he is gone, and all my woes increase. 
I heard the water issuing from the wound : 
No more the tea shall pour its fragrant steams around. 
Oh goddess, best beloved, delightful Tea, 
With thee compared, what yields the maddening Wine ? 
Sweet Power ! who knowest to spread the calm delight 
And the pure joy prolong to midmost night, 
Ah ! must I all thy -varied sweets resign ? 
Enfolded close in grief thy form I see. 
No more wilt thou extend thy willing arms, 
Receive the fervent Jove, and yield him all thv charms. 
4 
How sink the mighty low by fate opprest ! 
Perhaps, oh Kettle, thou, by scornful toe 
Rude urged to ignoble place with plaintive din, 
May'st rust obscure 'midst heaps of vulgar tin ; 
As if no joy had ever seized my breast, 
When from thy spout the streams did arching fly ; 
As if, infused, thou ne'er hadst known t' inspire 
All the warm raptures of poetic tire. 
5 
But hark ! or do I fancy the glad voice ? 
" What though the swain did wondrous charms dis- 
close, 
(Not such did Memnon's sister, sable drest), 
Take these bright arms with royal face imprest : 
A better Kettle shall thy soul rejoice, . 
And with oblivious wing's o'erspread thy woes." 
Thus fairy Hope can soothe distress and toil ; 
On empty Trivets she bids Kettles boil. 
You will observe that Coleridge, a Devonian (born 
at Ottery, St. Mary, hence Ottery in Dikoya) calls 
a kettle "he": in Northamptonshire it is a "she" 
for they call her sukey, and say that " sukey sings 
just before the water boils." In this county they 
also have a queer mixture called tea-kettle broth, 
which is compounded of bread, butter, pepper and 
salt, with boiling water. In South Warwick, where 
they pronounce tea as " tay," tay-kettle bioth con- 
sists of broad, hot water, and an onion or two. If 
their tea is poor, thin or watery, they say " this is 
very blasliy tay — it is water-bnwitched." With them 
a tea-drinking is a bun-feast and a Warwickshire man 
says, "If I go to the bun-feast I must put on my 
roast-beef (best) coat." If he is a harvest man his 
tea or beer is brought to him in a /oust, a tin or 
earthen bottle, and witli him a weak argument or 
weak tea is cat-lap or cat-blaili. In Antrim very 
weak tea is dubbed hlcerie, and in Lincoln, alas ! 
they lace, or mix spirits with, their tea. At Win- 
chester School very poor tea is called squish (tho 
Cambridge equivalent for marmalade I believe), and 
a tea-chest in Tit doces (thou teachest). The following 
extracts may interest old Wykehamites in Ceylon : 
— " Tay-time over, the valets set to work to make 
their master's coffee or tea (" Mess "). We used to 
make tho former very good, our plan being to let 
it simmer for a long time, but on no account to let 
it boil over. In Belgium and France, however, where 
it is still better, I lind they never boil tho coffee, 
but simply pour scalding water over it." "The ju- 
niors got their tea (" Sus ") anyhow — generally in 
bed — and swigged it out of a pint-cup ; and how 
delicious it was ! Not unfrequently it was accom- 
panied by a " Thoker," t. e. the evening ration of 
bread soaked slightly in water, and then put down 
to bake near the hot ashes." And lest the Carthu- 
sians should be jealous, here's an extract iroin Char- 
terhouse (before it was moved to Godalming): — " The 
principal kinds of fagging in London were as follows. 
Firstly, Tea-Fagging. Each upper retained the 
service of two fags to make his tea and toast, who 
were in consequence exempt from some other duties ; 
and the custom became established for the upper, 
on leaving, topresent each of his tea-fags with a 
"leave-book 1" Does the voice of the Cantab here grumbl- 
ing complain, that it's surely his turn to be mentioned 
again? Well, in the Gradus ad Cantabrayiara pub- 
lished in 1824 I find the following: — Act's Breakfast: 
a treat given by the act to the opponents* prepa- 
ratory to their going to loggerheads. It is pleasant 
to see what a good understanding prevails between 
these wordy champions. They do not quarrel in jest, 
like the gentlemen of the long robe. If it be not 
prophaneness to paraphrase on Milton, we might say 
that, at the act's breakfast, 
They eat, they drink, and in communion sweet, 
Quaff coffee and bohea t — secure of surfeit. 
[* This compliment is now returned by each of the 
opponents, but consists of " Tea and turnout." t A 
learned French physician, who wrote a Latin poem on Tea 
(" Thea Sinensis") says of it— nostris gratissima Musis.] 
On the Frst Fit of the Gout. By Elijah Fenton 17— ?) 
From that art us'd to sit on ladies' knee, 
To feed on jellies, and to drink cold tea ; 
Thou that art ne'er from velvet slipper free ; 
Whence conies this unsought honour unto me ! 
Whence does this mighty condescension flow f 
To visit my poor Tabernacle, — O ! 
A. M. Ferguson. 
NEW GUINEA NEWS. 
The schooner "Myrtle" arrived from British 
New Guinea lately and brought the 
largest cargo which has yet been exported from 
that young colony, viz., 600 bags copra, 70 tons 
of sandalwood and 31 bags of beche-de-mer. Mr. 
W. H. Gors, M.L.C., Manager for Burns, Philp 
and Co., Ltd, at Port Moresby, also came across, 
owing to a recurrence of ill health ; but we are 
glad to state he is now much better. He will, 
however, proceed south as far as Brisbane, if not 
to Adelaide. At the former place he hopes to 
assist the formation of the Company which is 
intended to commence a coconut plantation in 
New Guinea on a large scale. The New Guinea 
Government have at last consented to form a 
dray road to the summit of the Astralab Banges 
at the rear of Port Moresby ; and as soon as The 
prisoners have finished filling n p the swamp at 
Samarai they will be removed to complete the 
road decided upon. When completed, the road 
will for the first time open up the country some 
distance inland for settlement. The land on the 
Banges is described as very rich indeed, and 
the Government have purchased several suitable 
areas from the natives which will he thrown open 
to selection. This is a wise step. Once Furo- 
pean settlers get inland they will expend and 
develop the country's resources much more ra- 
pidly than when confined to the coast line.- 
Ttirres Straits Pilot. 
A New Uva Planting Com pax v.— We learn 
that Messrs. Whittal] & Co. will shortly brin« 
out a new Company to take over three plantations 
on the Uva side of the country. The railway 
has made a wonderful difference in reference to 
investments in Uva, by making the Principality 
so readily accessible and its rich soil and finj 
climate so much better known. 
