T1IE STRAND MAGAZINE. 
170 
MARK TWAIN AND MR. (NOW PRESIDENT) WOOD- 
ROW WILSON ENJOYING SOME PUTTING PRACTICE. 
From a Photograph. 
Mark laughed heartily, and confessed he 
wrote it himself. “ But/ 3 said the youth, 
“ why did you say twice before you had not 
heard it ? ” <l Well, you only asked me 
twice, and I could easily tell two fibs for 
politeness ; but when you asked me the 
third time, I had to tell the truth. ” So 
after that, if we suspected him of “ fooling,” 
we always asked him three times, till he had 
to tell the truth. 
On Valentine’s Day he wrote Helen an 
original valentine : — 
February 14 th, 1910. 
I know a precious little witch, 
And Helen is her name, 
With eyes so blue, the asters say, 
“■ They bring our blue to shame ” ; 
And cheeks so pink the eglantines, 
That by the roadway blow. 
Shed all their leaves when so they fail 
To match the dainty glow 
That steals across from ear to ear, 
And down from eyes to chin. 
When that sweet face betrays the thoughts 
That hidden lie within. 
I am hers, though she’s not mine ; 
I’m but her loyal 
Valentine. 
Soon after this he read us the manuscript 
of a story that was about half finished— 
a marvellous story of intense interest, by 
which he intended to show the insignificance 
of the human race. He would read a little, 
and then we would talk it over, for in this 
way he hoped to encourage the mood to 
finish it. In fact, he almost succeeded in 
doing so, when he took a severe cold, which 
rapidly developed into bronchitis, and the 
cough so racked him that it occupied his 
entire attention. 
He would sit out in the garden well wrapped 
up in a sunny spot, come home early from 
his afternoon drive, and nightly used a 
vaporizer, which his friend Mr. Woodrow 
Wilson recommended to him. But we found 
it very difficult to make him take care of 
himself, for he was impatient of any restraint. 
Mr. Wilson was then President of Princeton 
University. Mark Twain had always admired 
him sincerely, and said that he had a great 
future before him. 
On Sunday (April 3rd it was) he received 
this cable : — 
“ To Mark Twain, Hamilton, Bermuda. 
“ The clowns of Barnum and Bailey’s 
Circus, recognizing you as the world’s greatest 
laughmaker, will consider it an honour if 
you will be their guest at Madison Square 
Garden, Sunday afternoon, April 3rd, at 
two. Will you please answer collect. — 
Barnum and Bailey. 
(“ A reply of fifty words has been prepaid 
on this message.”) 
He chuckled when he read it, and then 
gave it to us to read, saying, “ I will answer 
at once, so as not to keep them waiting.” 
And without hesitation he wrote this reply : — 
“ I am very, very sorry, but all last week’s 
dates are full. I will come week before last, 
if that will answer. — Mark Twain. 
“ Twenty- five Collect/’ 
