THE AMATEUR’S KITCHEN GARDEN. 
m 
in plant-culture : the golden rule, that degrees of heat and 
humidity should correspond nearly, being sometimes ignored 
in the daily practice. 
Two cases of failure have been lately brought under our 
notice, and both tell the same tale. An amateur who had 
acquired considerable experience in cucumber-growing, so that 
it became the custom for his friends and neighbours to visit 
his cucumber house as an entertainment, on one occasion got 
up such a scene as drove the parish crazy with delight. A 
pretty span-roof house was seen clothed from the ground to 
the ridge-line on both sides of the roof with gigantic-leaved 
vines, from which were suspended hundreds of cucumbers, the 
straightness and freshness of which were simply marvellous. 
This happy amateur invited a vast concourse of people to 
visit him on the day of the local show, and it was rumoured 
abroad that those who w r ent would see some cucumbers. For 
a few days previous to the looked-for event the house was 
kept rather close because the weather was dull ; but there 
were some bursts of sunshine which sent the thermometer up 
to 150 deg., and although master and man both knew how the 
temperature went, they agreed that as regards the cucumbers 
“they could stand it.” The day of jubilation came, and the 
gardener sent for his employer very early in the morning, 
“just to look at the cucumbers.” The great leaves hung like 
rags, the plants appeared as if cut through over the roots, and 
hurrying to that bourne from whence no cucumber returns. 
The master divined the meaning of the wreck, and simply said, 
“Thermometer 150 yesterday. Ah, we’ve overdone it.” Bat 
he was equal to the occasion. He put mats on the outside to 
.subdue the light, and smeared the roof inside with green colour 
to still further darken the interior, and also to create an optical 
confusion. They then plied the syringe until the leaves were 
drenched, and the very house was like a dripping well. The 
last trick was to lock the door, put the key into the gardener’s 
pocket, and start him off to London, with instructions to keep 
away for twenty-four hours at least. In due time the guests 
arrived, and it was most unfortunate that the gardener had 
gone to town and taken the key with him. But they could see 
through the glass, and, as they were quite full of fun and half- 
full of champagne, they were soon satisfied, and carried our 
friend’s fame with great noise round the world. The next day 
the house was cleared and the parish was pelted with cucum- 
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