6 
Bob Huebner and I talked each other out with "shop talk" and, for- 
tunately, we have now separated, leaving our relationship spotlessly 
"professional." Huebner shows an agitation and a hyperkinesis which re- 
flects his tension more than does his stream of uninterrupted talk. He 
is a man possessed, as I often appear to be to others. 
As S... shrewdly observed. Mat remained loyal to me, devoted exclusively 
to me, and never consented to become one of Joe's boys. He insulted Joe 
by pointedly turning down camping and fishing trips and "family" excur- 
sions, flouting his preference for the company of others to that of Joe and 
the boys (even to my own company) when I forced him to share experiences 
with the others .. .behind it all an excess of love, loyalty and devotion to 
me ! 
Corte Madera, California. .. 1 1 p.m. 
...Well fed, relaxed and finally at ease, less tense than I have been 
for weeks. Linda, Karl Lawrence and Bobby met me at the airport, and we 
have been to a French restaurant. They ate, while I nibbled. Karl Lawrence 
behaved perfectedly at the restaurant, the result of their thirty thousand 
miles of restaurants in Europe this past year. 
Corte Madera, California September 9, 1972 
Steven Wiesenfeld tells me there is some delay in getting Judy's 
security clearance for her trip to the Pacific. This surprise comes as 
a shock and since I rosy invite foreign workers of any political bent, I 
am indignant at this development. There has been six months or more of 
warning to our administrators on this matter. The ridiculous and clumsy 
security check on me, resulting in the embassies checking with all my 
scientific colleagues in England and France— apparently taken from my 
travel orders — was a farce I can only be amazed at... how inept can these 
security people get? 
Marion's, Nancy's and Joe's loyalties sustain our unit; from them 
the others derive strength and work on. Since it is too confusing a time 
for me to provide clear goal-directed leadership, I must rely upon the 
fact that we can find the work itself to be fun and challenge and its own 
reward. We must not look to recognition or praise from others — even their 
support — for our sustenance. It must all come from within ourselves. 
