26 
AMERICAN AGRICULTURIST. 
[January, 
self a magnificent hammock, which he hung from a stout 
branch. He was so fat that lie had plenty of materials 
ami he ma<le his resting-place of three-fold thickness. 
" His poor neighbor sought the shelter of a neighboring 
currant bush, and from his scanty store of silk wove a 
plain nest that would just hold his emaciated body. And 
so (hey both slept through the long Winter. 
•• When the lime was come, the Master of Life sent 
forth his angels to waken the earth. And they poured 
out the golden music of light until it filled the deepest 
woods, and the flowers lifted their heads, and the air 
trembled with the hum of glad insects. The humble 
tenant of the lowly bush heard the joyous sound, and 
struggled forth from his hiding-place ; how changed ! lie 
ivms dollied in purple and gold, and a shining crown was 
upon his head, and while he yet wondered, a bright troop 
of winged beings called him to mount to the upper air, 
and spreading his new-found wings, he soared away to 
bash in the full noontide. 
" But alas for the poor, rich caterpillar ! His silken 
robes held him fast ; he could not break the strong bonds 
he had woven for himself, and there he must be a prison- 
er forever. And now would my boy be rich ?" 
"Yes, mother," said George, softly, "when God's 
spring-lime comes." 
Grammar Out West. 
A Kansas correspondent "T. H.," writes to the Amer- 
ican Agriculturist. " Will you please point out the in- 
correctness of the following sentences, which are almost 
universally in use at the West. ' Please pass me those 
molasses.' 'Them's good molasses.' 'Did you make 
any molasses? 1 'Yes., a few.' 'Have you got any 
molasses {to a storekeeper) ?' ' Yes,' ' I want to see them.' 
The above phrases are so common and contagious that 
many of the Yankees have adopted the error. How is it 
with oats? In Chester Co., Penn., it is classed with wHeat, 
com, rye, etc.. in the singular number; here it is \ised in 
the plural, with beans, peas, potatoes, and other things 
ending with s."— The error in the sentences, as our young 
grammarians will see, consists in using " molasses" as 
a plural noun. "That molasses," "some molasses," "I 
want to see it," would be the correct way of using the 
above examples. The word "oats" is a plural noun. 
The Chester Co., custom of making it singular, is incor- 
rect. Wheat, corn, and rye, have only the singular form 
Itanium Nearly Humbugged. 
When Barnum was about to erect a new building on the 
siie of " Iranistan," his former house, which had been de- 
stroyed by fire, he was desirous of giving it a new and 
classic name. A friend to whom he applied, suggested the 
compound Greek word " Neos-kome," which he trans- 
lated as " New-home." The word had a pleasant sound ; 
Barnum liked it, and was about having it engraved on 
st -.ne to occupy a conspicuous place in the building : but 
having so often humbugged others, he was naturally a little 
suspicious of attempts to humbug himself. He there- 
fore consul let I one of the knowing editors of the American 
Agriculturist, as to the meaning of the word "Neoskome." 
He was informed that it was derived from " Neos," new, 
and " skome," njoke or jest, the nearest word to humbug 
which the Greeks possessed. Barnum concluded not to 
adopt that name. 
Dean Swift, in traveling, once called at a house. The 
lady of the mansion, rejoiced to have so great a guest, 
with much eagerness and flippancy asked him what he 
would have for dinner. " Will you have an apple pie, or 
a gooseberry pie, sir, or a cherry pie, or a plum pie, or a 
pigeon pie, sir ?"— " Any pie, madam, but a magpie," re- 
plied the Dean, in his usual dry sarcastic manner 
Hadn't his Shake. — " Mr. Brown," said an assessor 
the" other day, " how many cows do you own ?" 
" Why do yon ask ?" was the query. 
" Because I wish to levy on them," was the rejoinder. 
" Well, let me see," said Mr. B. abstractedly, "how 
many cows does the law allow me?" 
" Two," replied the constable. 
" Two !" said Mr. B. with good-natured astonishment ; 
" well, if the law allows me two, I wish it would make 
haste and send the other along as I haven't but one '" 
" J can not conceive, my dear, what's the matter with 
my watch ; I think it must want cleaning," exclaimed an 
indulgent husband to his better half, the other day-. — " No, 
pa," said bis petted little daughter, " I know il don't want 
cleaning, because baby and I washed it in the basin, ever 
so long, this morning." 
She who marries a man simply for a "good match," 
must not be surprised if he turn out a "Lucifer." 
Muggins, seeing a dead dog in the ditch, stopped, and 
after gazing intently, said to his companion : " Another 
shipwreck." " Where ?" " There lies a bark that is 
lost forever."— His companion growled and navigated on. 
PREMIUM LIST, 
For 1863— Volume XXII. 
Good Pay to Voluntary Agents who attend to 
Collecting and fonvarding Clubs of Subscribers 
to the American Agriculturist. 
(Premiums open to all who Desire them.) 
N. B. — Persons interested in the following Premiums, 
will please note them carefully this month, as they will not 
probably be published again in full. They will continue 
open, however, until further notice— perhaps through the 
year, but the continued rise in printing paper may compel 
us to withdraw the offers after a time. 
Every subscriber is invited to renew his own subscrip- 
tion, anjMo solicit others to subscribe. But to all those 
who will take the trouble to collect and forward clubs of 
subscribers, we offer a remuneration in the form of ffrst- 
rate articles, as named below. (The pay thus offered is 
much larger than we could give in cash, as we get these 
articles on extra good terms when for premiums.) 
Ef We wish it distinctly undehstood that these 
premiums are offered in good faith — no cheap, trashy, im- 
perfect, poorly made, or second-hand thing, will be sent 
out, but each article offered, is the best of its kind, and 
every one will be selected by the publisher from the very 
best manufactured. They ivill be the best sold in the mar- 
ket at the prices named. 
E2T" We make no distinction between new and old subscri- 
bers in giving these premiums, but it is expected that every 
canvasser will not only gather up the names of old sub- 
scribers, but also secure a large number of new names. 
C^~ Every person collecting names for premiums, should 
send two copies of each list of names— one of them marked 
"For Premiuras,"and also with the name of the sender. 
B3?" Every person collecting names for premiums, should 
send the names with the money as fast as obtained, so that 
the subscribers may begin to receive their papers ; Two cop- 
ies of each list of names should be sent— one of them marked 
at the top "For Premiums," and also with the name of the 
sender. The premium will be paid as soon as any club is 
made up— if duplicate lists, are sent. 
~TW Any person who has commenced sending in names at 
30c. and finally fails to get the higher number of names, can 
fall hack upon the smaller number, by remitting the 20 cents 
extra on each of the smaller number of names required. 
B3T" Clubs need not be all confined to one Post Office. 
S II 3 S3 
Table of Premiums for 18G3. S^J , <•§ \o» 
a » 1 IE w Ire » 
iva»ie.s of Premium Articles. § J 
1— Good "Rooks— See terms below 
2— Best Family Clothes Wringer $7 50 
3— Nonpareil washing Machine $16 00 
4— Sewing Machine, [wheeler & Wilson) 845 00 
5— Sewing Machine, (Wilcox & Gibbs) . . . .$35 00 
G— Aneroid Barometer..,. $7 50 
7— The Aquarius $iQ 00 
8— Five Octave Melodeon (best) $75 00 
9— gk Octave Melodeon (best) $60 00 
10— Four Octave Melodeon (best) $45 00 
$7 50 
$6 72 
$5 00 
$4 4S 
$'2 24 
$1 12 
$1 23 
$2 50 
13— Worcester's Unabridged Dictionary 
13— Six back Volumes Agriculturist," 
14— Five do do do 
IS— Four do do do 
16— Three do do do 
17— Two do do do 
18— One do do do 
19— Jacob's Portfolio Paper File 
30— Windsor & Newton's Paints 
21— Osborn & Hodgktnson's Paints $1 50 
23— Premium Cylinder Plow $10 00 
23— Eagle Plow No. 20 $9 25 
24— Hay and Straw Cutter (best) $8 00 
25— Steel-tooth Cultivator (best) $7 00 
36— Family Lard and Wine Press $7 00 
DESCRIPTION 1 OF THE PREMIUMS. 
Premium No. 1— Good Boolcs. 
Any person sending 1G or more subscribers, may select 
from our book list, (page 376.) to the amount of 12% cents, for 
each name, at the club price of 80 cents, or to the amount oj 
S3J^ cents for each name, at $1 each. Farmers' Clubs have 
frequently joined together and obtained a good library 
through these premiums. N". B.— The books will be deliver- 
ed to the recipients, (by mail or express,) free of all cost. 
E^~See about prices of Books in Basket Note. 
No. 2— Family Clothes-Wringer. 
This is a first-rate household implement— a great saver of 
garments, and Of hard work. With this machine set on the 
edge of the wash-tub, the garments are easily and rapidly 
passed between two India-rubber rollers, the water fall- 
ing back into the tub, and the garments dropping into a 
basket, in a drier condition than they can he wrung by 
hand, and therefore more quickly dried on the line. A 
child can in a few minutes wring out a tubful of clothes. 
We have had one in constant use in our family for nearly 
three years, and it is still as good as new. The machine 
offered. No. 2, is just the thing for family use. It is provided 
with cogs to move the rollers together, so that it is not pos- 
sible to tear garments, as is the case with cheaper Wringers 
not provided with cogs. We present one of these No. 2 Wring- 
ers to any person procuring and forwarding 18 subscribers, 
at $1 each, or 37 at the lowest club price, (80 cents each.) 
Premium No. 3— Washing Machine. 
The Nonpareil Washing Machine wchavehad In 
use in our family for nearly a year past, and it has not only 
driven out half-a-dozen placed there on trial, but has really 
given excellent satisfaction. It is the only machine, out of 
twenty we have tried, which the "help" cheerfully use with- 
out compulsion. It is a labor-saver and a clothes-saver— two 
important considerations. (See descriptive cut, ami adver- 
tisement on page 31.) The clothes are put in, in quantity, 
and quickly washed by Blmply turning a crank. The 
balance-wheel adjusts the force required, so as to make Hie 
turning easy. Take it all In all, it is the best Washing Ma- 
chine we know of, and is -worthy of a place in every family. 
They are of three sizes; we select No. 2, as the best size for 
common family use. The price of No. 2 is $16. This ma- 
chine we will present to any one forwarding 35 subscribers 
at the regular price, ($1 each.) or 75 subscribers at the 
lowest club price, (80 cents.) The machine can he Bent to 
any point as freight, or by express, and will be forwarded, 
free of all expense, except the freight after leaving the city 
Premium No. 4 — Sewing Machine. 
90 Subscribers at |1 each, (or 130 at SO cents each,) will 
entitle the person sending them to Wheeler <£ Witeon's best 
84:5 Sewing Machine, (including Htmmer), new 
from the factory, and of the very best make. There is no 
better family machine than this made, as we have proved by 
nearly Jive years* use in our own family, in connection with 
other machines. We want no better. The terms on 
which it is offered above, will enable many families to se- 
cure one without direct outlay of money. The Premium 
Machines will be selected new at the manufactory, and will 
be forwarded, well boxed, with full directions for setting up 
and using, and with no expense, except for freight. 
Premium No. 5— Sewing Machine. 
G'J Subscribers at $1 each, for 98 at 80 cents each,) will 
entitle the person procuring them to WHlcox <fc Gibbs' $35 
Sewing Machine, including a set of Hcinincrs. 
This is the best machine of its kind, (sewing with one thread,) 
and has several points superior to other machines. It is neat, 
well made, simple in its operation ; and having tested one in 
our own family for more than two years, we think highly of 
It, and can recommend it to those who can not afford to buy 
the higher priced double-thread machines. Some of our 
neighbors think this machine ahead of all others. Premium 5 
will be selected and sent the same as No. 4. 
Premium No. O— Barometer. 
19 Subscribers at $1 each, for 44 at 80 cents each.) will 
entitle the person getting up the club to one of Kendall'.-; 
Aneroid Barometers, (Price $7 50.) This is a good, 
portable instrument, and valuable to every person as a 
weather guide, as well as for scientific purposes. See page 
377, December No. It will save to the farmer and others 
many times its cost, as a weather-indicator. These instru- 
ments resemble a large watch, 5 inches in diameter, and 2 
inches thick. Each one is in a neat leather case, and when 
seut to a distance, this is packed in cotton, in a wooden 
box 4M by 8 inches, and can go anywhere, by express or 
otherwise, with perfect safety. 
Premium No. 7— The Aquarius. 
This is a capital instrument, valuable to have in every 
house. It is a portable hand force-pump, which any one can 
catch up at a moment's warning, and throw from a pall or 
other vessel a steady stream of water upon a fire in a house, 
or elsewhere. It is supplied with both a jet-pipe and a rose, 
or sprinkler, and can be used for washing windows, car- 
riages, &c. ; for sprinkling trees, plants, destroying insects, 
&c, &c. With it, it is easy to wash the second and third 
story windows, and to sprinkle water upon the roofs, while 
standing upon the ground. Such an apparatus will often 
enable a person to so use a bucket or two of water as to ex- 
tinguish a fire breaking out where it could not be reached 
with water dashed on from pails. It is supplied with suction 
and injection India-rubber pipes, and with air-chambers to 
keep up a constant stream. The weight is 8 lbs., and It can 
be sent anywhere as freight, or by express. (Price $10.) 
We will present, an Aquarius complete to any one send- 
ing su 33 subscribers at $1 each, (or 47 at 80 cents each.) 
Premium No. 8— Melodeon. 
125 Subscribers at $1 each, (or 337 at 80 cents each,) will 
entitle the person getting up the club to one of Geo. A. 
Prince it Co.'s 875 Mclodeons (5 octaves). These Melo- 
deons are of very superior tone and finish. We have our- 
selves used one for three years past, and it has given 
the highest satisfaction, and is pronounced by all who 
have beard It, as one of the very best. The different priced 
instruments are of equally good tone— the price varying with 
the size and style of finish. The size, prices, etc., of these in- 
struments can be learned particularly, by sending a stamp to 
Geo. A. Prince & Co., Buffalo, N. Y.. for an Illustrated de- 
scriptive catalogue. The Instruments given as Premiums, will 
be sent new directly from the factory at Buffalo, ready box- 
ed, and without expense to the recipient, except for freight. 
Schools and churches can readily combine their efforts and 
secure one of these instruments. This has been frequently 
done. See "N. B.," under Premium No. 10. 
N. B.— Any higher or lower priced Melodeons will bo 
given for other lists, in the same proportion. See table above. 
Premium No. 12— Best Dictionary. 
23 Subscribers at $1 each, (or 48 at 80 cts. each.) will enti- 
tle the person getting up the club to a copy of the large Pic- 
torial Unabridged Edition of Worcester's Dictionary, 
(Price $7 50.) This now stands confessedly the most valua- 
ble Standard Dictionary published. It weighs nearly 10 lbs.; 
is 12 inches long, 10 inches wide, nearly 4 inches thick, and 
contains 1854 pages of S columns each, giving the spell- 
ing and pronunciation, with full explanations, of every 
word in the English Language, and as a source of general 
information on all subjects, stands next to the Cyclopedia. 
The Dictionary can be called for at our Office, or be sent 
by Express or otherwise, to any part of the country. 
