42 
RUBBER PLANTING IN CEYLON 
‘ You couldn't have cane-bottomed chairs in a railway station in 
America, now, could you ?” said he to me. 
“Why not?” I asked, much surprised. 
“On account of the extraordinary habit you Americans have of 
standing on chairs, and making stump speeches,” he responded with con- 
viction. 
That he was in dead earnest, and that no denial of mine would 
affect his belief, one look at his countenance showed. It seemed a pity 
that he should not add to his store of knowledge along that line, so I 
said carelessly : 
“That, of course, used to be so a few years ago. Indeed, it was a 
great nuisance. In public and private, at the theatre, at concerts, at 
receptions, even in church, stump speakers would suddenly mount chairs 
and harangue all in sight. It was a disease, you know, caused by a 
germ that was bred in the cotton fields of New Hampshire.” 
“Fancy!” gasped my listener. 
Oh yes, pure and simple , 1 I continued (referring to his exclama- 
tion). The germ is known as the Septennis vociferens, and I may say 
modestly that it was due to a little invention of my own that it is no 
longer feared in America.” 
“How interesting! And pray what was your invention?” 
“Is it possible that you never heard of Pearson’s Patent Orator 
Discourager?" I asked with pained surprise. “It sold very well; indeed, 
I made a comfortable sum out of it. Quite simple it was, but it did the 
work. It was, in a word, a semi-spherical rubber spring, so placed 
beneath the chair bottom that when one tried to step there, he was 
instanly thrown over backwards, the shock killing the germ, but rarely 
injuring the man. If, however, one sat in the chair, the spring had no 
effect.” 
“Very ingenious ! A most excellent device ! I congratulate you !” 
exclaimed my listener, warmly. “Of course, it was only useful in your 
own country.” 
“I was coming to that. Having sold all I can in America, I am now 
about to prepare a foreign market for it.” 
“But — but no one makes stump speeches here , for instance!” he 
said. 
“Ah, that’s just it. They don’t now, but they will. Our laboratory 
is working night and day producing healthy cultures of the germ. I am 
