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Chemical Shams . 
[May, 
guaranteed analysts. Nor are they slow at insulting and 
trying to cackle down every accomplished chemist who 
comes in their way, except he is connected with the farm 
aforesaid. 
I know of an instance which cries seriously for the sym- 
pathy of scientific men, and which would call down public 
indignation if properly understood. A supposed impartial 
committee sent to inquire into a case of injured merit, 
actually sided with the oppressors as being the more influ- 
ential party. After a series of gastronomic performances, 
in which the committee exhibited the “ Science and Art ” of 
eating, and after their personal vanity had been settled by 
dexterously managed fawning, a decision was then given 
against the injured party, who thus fell a vidtim to the 
jealousy of men professionally his inferiors ! However, 
committees are but mortal, and are endowed with poor 
human natures, liable to wither when the conscience is 
dead. 
Before leaving the serf type I must treat of one in parti- 
cular, who has opened his palace of chemical entertain- 
ments in the remote regions of Scotland. This gentleman 
made a speciality of agricultural chemistry. After a very 
short period of incubation, at the English farm already 
referred to, he returns to his native soil, dons the broad- 
cloth, and ledtures to a set of shock-headed youths ; thereby 
he acquires the name of a “ clever mon.” As his fame rises 
conceit keeps pace. Inspired by this conceit he encounters 
the educated and also the ignorant farmer, and astounds 
them with his learned, novel, and technical terms, in place 
of the plainer names which they are accustomed to hear. 
By dint of this fire of new verbiage he succeeds in making 
them believe that he is superior to his seniors and is versed 
in all the latest analytical processes, and thus secures 
samples to analyse. This tyro adtually waged warfare against 
two well-known chemists, one of whom treated him with 
silent contempt, and the other carried on the contest. 
Although the second gentleman convinced men who knew 
their profession that the tyro was wrong, the latter still held 
his point with the most dogmatic assurance, earning the 
laughter of parties who watched the controversy. The 
result of this war was his losing caste in the eyes of many 
of his scientific brethren. 
Let us hope our northern oracle will, like his national 
poet’s “ Nickie Ben,” — 
“Tak’ a thocht and mend.' 
