192 
SOUTHERN cultivator. 
THE “SHOWMAN” FAKMER I—PHYFICING LAND!!- 
AN ELEPHANT PLOWING!!! 
One of our Northern exchanges furnishes the subjoined 
humorous account of the first experiment of Barnum as 
an agricultural chemist. It is worth reading : 
Barnum — the Barnum, is a Connecticut farmer. He 
has a passion that way. It is his present hobby. He al- 
ways has a hobby. Sometimes it is a “Fire Annihilator,” 
and sometimes the Crystal Palace annihilates him. 
Last year he had the hen fever. That was his hobby. 
He rode it till he spent about ^2,000, and then found that 
he had neither eggs or chickens for family use. His 
neighbor’s hens that “stole their nests,” under the barn 
or by the side of the fence, hatched more chickens than 
his did, and when they were grown, they were healthy 
and good to eat, while his were drooping and sickly in 
their costly house. 
Farming, however, was always a hobby with him. He 
has been for years buying up tlie old fields around Bridge- 
port and digging out the stones, covering the ground with 
muck dug out of all the neighboring swamps. Then he 
bought all the stable-manure that he could get hold of' in 
the village and carted it out, but it did not pay ; it was 
half straw and one-fourth water, and it was expensive. 
That hobby broke-down. It has broken down a thousand 
times before, but the more it broke, the more old fogyism 
stuck to it. It was the ancient custom of the land to plow 
shallow and top-dress with stable-manure, sea-weed and 
fish. Digging muck was an innovation. It was a good 
thing, but it did not pay long transportation. Something 
better was wanted. Somebody said, use salt. That did 
not look reasonable. "What virtue was there in salt to 
make plants grow 1 Somebody else said, use saltpetre. 
But that was evident nonsense. Saltpetre was only to 
preserve meat — it was not manure. Another wise man 
told him Glauber salts were good, but a wiser one told him 
that Epscra salts were better. 
“Bless your soul, man,” says Barnum, “do you sup- 
pose I want to physic my land 1 No, Sir ; I want to feed 
it, and make it feed me.” 
So he took to the study of agriculture. He took several 
learned agricu'tural papers, and read them, and — well, he 
■concluded that he was not the only humbug in the world. 
So he went off lecturing upon humbug as a science, 
under the full impression that he had been about as badly 
humbugged, in the agricultural line, hens and hundred- 
doliar ducks included, as lie ever humbugged anybody 
with wooly horses and Feejee mermaids. 
Still he v.-as net satisfied. He thought Connecticut soil 
had something in it, and if it could be stimulated to give it 
upa it would produce something besides daisies and rnul- 
ilsns. 
As he did not need to study his lecture — that came 
natural— he bought Jolinsovi’.^ Chemistry, Norton’s Chem- 
istry and Liebeg’s Chemistry, and devoted his leisure 
hours of traveling to search out wliat was the best ami 
most concentrated manure to apply to his old fields. He 
had already' done one very essential thing ; he had plow- 
ed the sdil deeper than it wms ever plowed before; and 
now he wanted to manure better and cheaper, umJ 
make it more productive. So he studdied agricultural 
chemistry. Therein lie learned these facts : 
That an application of iOO lbs. Oi nitrate of fotash to an 
acre of land had doubled the crop of grass. 
Again, he read that the same quantity of sulphate oj 
soda had produced the same or a better effect. 
It was also stated that sulphate of magnesia was still 
better, and that remarkable effects had been produced by 
^ oVni'wriate (f soda. Nitrate of sod.a had also 
done wonders. 
The author suggested that the farmer might procure a 
portion of each of these sulphates and nitrates and mix 
them together and produce a cheaper and more concen- 
trated manure than super-phosphate of lime or Guano. 
Full of this idea, Farmer Barnum returned to New 
York, and went forthwith to a dealer in drugs, medi- 
cines and chemicals, and inquired the prices of^Nitrate 
of potash ? — 6c, a pound ; Nitrate of soda 1 — 4c.; Sulphate 
of magnesia'? — 2 l-2c.; Muriate of soda”? — I l-2c. 
“Very well ; put me up a hogshead of each.” 
In due time the farmer was ready to begin to use hig 
new manures, or, rather, he was first curious — even show- 
men have curiosity — to see what these nitrates and sul- 
phates all looked like. So he ordered the casks that had 
arrived to be opened for inspection. That was soon done, 
and the man, with consternation written upon his face, 
came back with handsful of the contents, and reported: 
“Mr. Barnum, you’re sold — humbugged. Look here ; 
that was marked ‘Nitrate of potash’— what do you call 
thatl” 
“That ! that is saltpetre — nothing else.” 
“And this'? This was marked ‘Sulphate of Soda,”’ 
“Why, that! — that” — and he tasted — “that — oh, pshaw 
— that is Glauber salts.” 
“And this — sulphate of magnesia'?” 
“Bah — that is Epsom salts.” 
“And shall I send them back'?” 
“Yes — no — hold on. Perhaps the druggist in the vil- 
lage has sent for them, and they have made a mistake, 
and sent my nitrates and sulphates to him, and his physic 
to me.” 
So he posted down town to inquire; but no — nobody 
had sent for any glauber salts ; and so he came back to 
write a letter and blow up the dealer who had so befooled 
him. In the meantime the man had got the cask marked 
“Muriate of Soda” opened, and reported that it contained 
— ha, ha, ha — simply common salt. 
“What on earth,” wrote Mr. B., to the chemist, “did 
you send me Glauber salts, Epsom salts. Saltpetre and 
comiiion salt, for'? Do you think I want to pickle and 
preserve my land, and if I get too much salt and saltpetre, 
physic it out '? Only one of the casks contain what I 
ordered, and that is the nitrate of soda.” 
The return mail brought the answer : “Nitrate of soda, 
of course is right, because it is not known by any other 
name.” 
“Glauber salts is, properly speaking, sulphate of soda, 
and sulphate of magnesia is nothing more nor less than 
epsom salts.” 
“Salt, as we use the term, is salt, but it is a very un- 
meaning term, among so many salts. Muriate of soda 
is the right name of our common, or table, salt.” 
“And nitrate of potash is nothing but saltpetre; don’t 
be afraid of it — it woift explode.” 
“But it did explode,” said Mr. Barnum; “it exploded 
iny ignorance. 1 had studied agricultural chemistry, but 
1 did not know salt nor saltpetre. 1 do now, and I mean 
to know that they are good for land ” 
A..nd we mean that a few thousand other people shall 
know the same thing. We do kiiow that all these things 
are good and very cheap manures. 
1 he same paper gives us, also, this sketch of the mode 
of plowing at ‘ Iranistan,” the country seat of the great 
humbug “showman 
Seeing the Elephant. — Passengers wlio travel by the 
New York and New Haven cars have a grand chance of 
“seeing the elephant.” Going from New York, the cars 
pass the farm of P. T. Barnum, a mile or so befoie reach- 
ing Bridgeport, Ct. On that farm, and in plain view 
from the railroad, an elephant may be seen every pleasant 
day, attached to a large plow, and doing up the “subsoil- 
ing” in first-rate style, at the rate of about three distinct 
