57 « 
THROUGH ASIA 
in which we were thenysituated, have been tantamount 
to an act of suicidal folly — an outrageous madness. Our 
own strength was seriously undermined. Our own lives 
depended upon a successful race against fast-ebbing energy 
and fast-running time ; and we did not know how far w'e 
might have to go before we reached water — the precious 
life-restorer. We were stripping ourselves of everything 
except the barest indispensable necessaries, in order to 
husband our strength, to facilitate our progress, to 
economise time. To have burdened ourselves therefore 
with two helpless, hopeless sufferers, for whom we were 
utterly incapable of doing the least thing further, would 
only have been to imperil our own lives for absolutely 
no purpose. All the same, it wrung my heart to have 
to leave the unhappy men behind in the desert. My 
conscience was loud in its reproaches. I suffered intense 
agony of mind. Yet what could I do? The bitterness 
of that hour — it was more than I can describe : it is 
known to God alone ! 
As for the hens, I had a presentiment that they ought 
not to be killed, since they might be useful, if we did 
come back to fetch the tent. Besides, with the carcass 
of the sheep to feed upon, they would be able to preserve 
their lives for a long time. In this I was not wrong, as 
was proved in the end of May 1896, more than a year 
later. But I must not anticipate the natural course of 
events. 
Meanwhile we marched on slowly, Yollda.sh still faith- 
fully following us, although as lean as a skeleton. The 
camels’ bells tolled a mournful peal for the dying veterans 
of the caravan. From the top of the first dune we 
surmounted, I turned and sent back a sigh over the Camp 
of Death, where my tw'o attendants were breathing their 
last. The tent stood out like a sharply cut black triangle 
against the lighter - tinted western sky. Then I went 
down the dune, and it vanished from my sight. I ex- 
perienced a feeling of relief, when it was no longer visible. 
I never looked back again. 
Before us were the black night and the treacherous 
