IV 
CAUDLE 
47 
children here together, one does not have a chance of 
enjoying one’s early morning’s rest. 
There is an old Scotch couple too, in the next room 
to mine, who never open their lips to each other during 
the day, but, unfortunately, reserve all their conversation 
for “ Caudle Lectures ” at bedtime, when, in despite of 
myself, I listen until wearied out to their incessant 
bickerings. I feel inclined to call out, as that American 
did in the story, “ For goodness’ sake kiss and make 
friends, and let us all get some sleep.” We have 
heard their whole family history so often repeated that we 
know it by heart now. Yesterday the wife was hemming 
table napkins, and her husband told her she would have 
no use for that senseless rubbish where she was going — 
which sounded ominous. After five years’ waiting, he 
had, we heard, built her a house, and she had under these 
conditions alone consented at last to join him. Once 
they left the hotel, but they returned ; it was only a 
tent he had taken her to, and the discussions now 
became so vehement that in a body we all protested 
and begged that they might “ have it out ” elsewhere. 
He rather puts me in mind of my Irishman in Western 
Australia, whose language was unique, and who after 
pouring out his griefs and troubles to me, half of which 
were unintelligible, ended up with “ Says I to my wife, 
says I, it don’t dignify consputing, you better divide 
yourself with another person.” I leave the literal 
translation to you. The same old gentleman sent me 
to look for a peppermint spring. After fruitless en- 
deavours to discover its whereabouts, I found out that 
it was intended for a permanent one. But I am 
spinning out my letter, and your eyes must be wearied 
already trying to decipher my not too plain hand- 
writing, so for the present good-night. 
