12 
ALMOST HUMAN 
his perch, but the more he explained the more offended Mollie got, and 
at last he was compelled to leave her without having had the pleasure 
of making friends once more. 
A KILLJOY. 
A large number of clergymen who were met in counsel together one 
year took an afternoon off from their discussions and visited the Zoo. 
Mr. Le Souef and Mr. Wilkie took the gentlemen all over the gardens 
and showed them everything of interest. There were perhaps thirty 
in the party, and all but one were happy and pleased. That one must 
have gone there for the purpose of moralising upon the frivolity of his 
brethren, for he certainly did not enjoy himself, and he seemed to think 
none of them should be there at all. However the other men did not 
allow him to spoil their fun, and all went merrily. When they reached 
Mollie’s cage they found she was in her best company trim, and she 
excelled herself to please them. But she soon became conscious that 
on the outskirts of the crowd was this cold critic whose face would not 
move a muscle whatever she did. His asceticism found little response 
from Mollie. She looked at his high cheekbones, hard mouth, and 
cadaverous face with every line deep set downwards, and saw that his 
first tenet was the mortification of the flesh. She at last determined 
that whether he wished to do so or not he should enter into the spirit 
of the day. She played her best tricks, she all but asked him to come 
nearer her. Then she rolled up one of her bags and, pushing it out 
of her cage, used it as a flick to reach him. One and another of the 
younger men caught its other end, but she pulled it away at once and 
threw it towards the object of her interest once more. The young men 
opened up an avenue and asked the stern ascetic to take it. 
“Come along,” they urged. “She wants you to take it. Humor 
the thing.” 
Reluctantly, and without relaxing one hard line of his face, he at 
last took the proffered end, and Mollie positively laughed. When she 
laughs her whole face is so curiously human that it is difficult to believe 
she is not so. She at once began to haul her bag in, and the minister 
had to follow. Slowly but surely she got the man, who would not laugh 
at her efforts to please, nearer and nearer to her cage. When she got 
him near enough she bent forward and deliberately spat in his face. 
There was a most uncomfortable pause, during which the victim, 
still as mask-like as ever, took out his handkerchief and wiped his cheeks. 
There was a quickly suppressed titter first from one spot, then another, 
followed by looks of utter consternation as they marvelled what he would 
