Corning Press News 
U.S.S. HOUSTON 
23 duly 1938 
MISCELLAFK OUS 
Duncan, Arizona: 
Five miners were freed from a shaft at the Veta mines this 
evening after spending more than thirty hours underground 
entombed seven hundred feet below the surface in a state of 
uncertainty . 
Me x i c o City: 
Word was received here today stating, that six bandits had 
raided a small farm in the rural district in Jalisco State. 
The robbers tried to take over an isolated farm near Ayutla. 
The farm wife and her two young children were alone when she 
heard the pounding hoofs of the bandits outside her house. 
The bandit leader shouted for her to come out at once with 
her hands above her head. Her answer was a sharp report 
from a rifle. One bandit fell and the robbers fired a 
fusilade at the house. But when a second bandit fell before 
the unerring aim of the Mexican "Annie Oakley" they jumped to 
their horses and fled in terror. 
The farm woman then calmly sent for officers to remove the 
dead bodies from the premises. Said she, "I have my two 
children to thank. They loaded the rifles for me 
n 
Following received in Kelp Code: 
f 4 
Poyal Aviators of the ^ealm, while volplaning at 25,000 meters 
in the meteoric regions, have sighted the U.S.S. HOUSTON, 
listed heavily with her gigantic cargo of landlubbers, heading 
due South and have so reported to His Royal Majesty. Ihave 
notified Davey Jones to board the ship immediately upon her 
approach and serve summons to all violators of the Statutes. 
The Royal Aviators have signaled the Royal Serpents to 
precede the ship at 75 nautical miles so all may be ready 
upon arrival. At the speed you are row traveling, D vey Jones 
should sight and board you about Sunday evening, and it is 
expected that all vicious animals, crabs, pollywogs, lubbers, 
etc., will have been lashed down and secured and that all 
preparations for Court Session will have been made at this 
t ime . • 
By, His Majesty, 
King Neptune. 
Royal Poet Sez:- 
The Queen is having fits of rage, 
The King is mighty mad, 
The Royal Doctors want your life. 
The Undertaker’s sad. 
The Chaplain’s saying prayers for 3 r ou, 
The Royal Baby cries, 
The Barbers and the Devils say, 
He who defies us DIES’. 
Page Six. 
