24 July. 
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Post Office Box. 
Charles Island 
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Iwl 
The dinner began with a blessing by a pollywog imposter after which 
the Shellback Executive Officer made the introductory remarks, and intro- 
duced the Shellback Toastmaster, Colonel Watson. The Shellback Toast- 
master then gave the Pollywog Haranguer, Mr. Stephen Early, recog- 
nition. The Pollywog Haranguer was duly cautioned in a note received 
from the Raging Main, that “Neptunus Rex” insists that the pollywogs 
present their nefarious attempts at wit, in the manner most likely to 
command the respect of the Shellbacks. 
It developed that the Pollywog Haranguer had been wound up like 
an eight day clock and with himself setting a lively pace to his own motto 
of “No dull moments” the dinner proceeded as they did in the “Good old 
days” when “Repartee was Repartee.” 
The dilly dallying sea lawyers imposed the following impositions 
(called by themselves humorous) on the Shellbacks. 
PRAYER BY THE LUBBERLY CHAPLAIN 
“At this time, 0 King Neptune, it behooves us to come before thy 
throne to lay before thee our humble petitions. However, as all true 
prayers must contain the element of praise as well as that of petition, we, 
at this time wish to thank thy all slimy (almighty) Majesty for the privi- 
lege thou hast granted us of associating with thy loyal subjects the un- 
speakable (unimpeachable) shellbacks. That association has opened our 
eyes and has taught us what we ought not to be. For this we are grate- 
ful. In fact, we might say, with that man of old, “0 God we thank thee 
that we are not as other men are” - to mention no names. 
And now, 0 most glorious sting (King) we wish to plead guilty to 
the sin of presumption. It was sheer arrogance on our part to assume 
that we could encroach upon thy domain on equal footing with thy lousy 
(loyal) stooges (subjects). One lifetime is far too short for us to fall to 
such depths of degradation. For this presumption we crave thy pardon. 
— 86 
24 July. 
And now, before we leave our bended knee, Old Hex (Rex) Neptune, 
thy blessings we implore. Take, 0 Ruler of the Deep, the fish scales 
from thy sea-weedy eyes and see the great worthiness of thy most humble 
petitioners. And grant that the ooze in which thy smelly kingdom 
abounds, may cover a multitude of shellbacks, from now on and forever- 
more. 
A POLLYWOGS PRAYER 
Now I’m kneeling down to weep, 
I pray the Lord my soup to keep. 
Grant no other squealer take, 
My shoes or socks before I wake. 
Lord guard me in my slumber, 
And hang my carcass on it’s number, 
May no fuse or wire break, 
To bring me back before I bake. 
Keep me safely in thy sight, 
And grant no tortures here tonight. 
And in the morning let me wake, 
Scorched and bruised, with no debate. 
God protect me in my dreams, 
And make this better than it seems. 
Gram the time may quickly fly, 
When I myself shall raise on high. 
In a snowy feather bed, 
Where I long to lay my head, 
Far away from all these scenes, 
And the smell of half-baked beings. 
Take me back into the land, 
Where they torture not so grand. 
Where no demon shellbacks roam, 
Where the Pollys never groan. 
God ihou knowest all my woes, 
Feed me in my dying throes. 
Take me back - I’ll promise then, 
To curse a shellback never again. 
Amen. 
Davy Jones welcomed 
By Senior Shellb ack 
