Dispensing With Justice 
The Cap'ain, King Neptune and his Royal Court then proceeded to 
he communication deck where the Senior Shellback, President Roosevelt, 
awaited them. After the President had greeted King Neptune and his 
court, they returned to the quarterdeck and took their places on the throne. 
Captain: King Neptune, I turn over my command to you 
for such time as you wish. I offer you the services 
of my Navigator to do as you see fit. 
King Neptune: Very well, Captain, Thank you. (Turning to the 
Royal Navigator). You will proceed to the bridge 
and direct the movements of this ship on the 
course assigned. The Ship’s Navigator will assist. 
King Neptune was then informed by the Shellback Executive Officer 
that the crew was in all respects ready for the ceremonies. 
King Neptune - To those assembled, who are visitors of our Royal 
Domain, and to all candidates for membership in our ancient and most 
onoiable brother-hood of the sea, My Royal Escort, and I, Neptunus - Rex, 
Monarch of the Raging Main, Greet you. 
Landlubbeis, sandcrabs and pollywogs though you are now you 
should consider yourselves truly fortunate. 
“Most of you are young, and will always look back on this day with 
pride— -proud in the thought that you, too, have crossed that great in- 
visible line which divides this world into a northern and southern hemi- 
pheie, proud that you have faced unafraid the same trial and ordeals 
that so many, many mariners have faced before you. Former Naval 
Officers, famous in the making of American History, have stood as you 
siand now — John Paul Jones, Stephen Decatur, David Farragut, George 
Dewey and Admiral Sims. 
“Strike up the band and let your joy be unconfined. 
It is my older that the ceremonies shall now commence.” 
A one gun salute was fired and the Jolly Roger broken at the 
starboard main yardarm. 
To describe in detail the way all landlubbers, plow-deserters land- 
crabs, etc., were given the “Royal Works” would violate a most sacred tra- 
dition and more than likely spoil many “Tall Tales” that all the ex-poll v- 
wogs have, by this time, formulated in their minds 
— 46 — 
25 July. 
The Royal Poet, however, kindly consented to allow us to print his 
outstanding composition of the day. It should bring back to all shellbacks 
fond memories of the day when they received the “Royal Works” and to 
those pollywogs who have occasion to peruse these pages, give some ink- 
ling of the ordeal in store for them, when and if, they are privileged to 
enter the Sacred Portals of Shellbackdom. 
THE KING OF THE POLLYWOGS RECEIVES THE “ROYAL WORKS 
With a proud regal air, 
The King was turned around 
For he had been summoned, 
And to Court he was bound. 
Through the tube he did wiggle, 
With speed and with dash. 
With the Royal Cops behind him 
Applying the lash. 
To his feet he did struggle, 
Bewildered was he. 
The stocks next received him 
Upon bended knee. 
The Devils observed him, 
And came on the run. 
And prodded and baked him, 
Until he was numb. 
Out of the stocks and 
Into the coffin. 
The lid was clamped on 
And how he did soften. 
Approaching the Chaplain 
With hope in his heart, 
That the Padre would aid him, 
The Royal Court to out-smart. 
Ah Bop Em, 
Chinese Detective 
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