TWO DIANAS IN SOMALILAND 9 
develops on board ship to an abnormal extent. They 
invariably contrive to get toothache or lumbago just 
as they cross the gangway to go aboard. This is all 
preliminary to securing the lower berth with some 
appearance of equity. What does it matter that the 
wife detests top berths, not to speak of the loss of 
dignity she must endure at the idea even of clambering 
up ? Of course the husband does not ask her to take 
the top berth. No husband can ask his wife to make 
herself genuinely uncomfortable to oblige him. He 
has to hint. He hints in all kinds of ways — throws 
things about the cabin, and ejaculates parenthetically, 
“ How am I to climb up there with a tooth aching like 
mine ? ” or “ I shall be lamed for life with my lumbago 
if I have to get up to that height.” 
Having placed the wife in the position of being an 
unfeeling brute if she insists on taking the lower berth 
for herself, there is nothing for it but to go on as 
though the top berth were the be-all of the voyage and 
her existence. 
“ Let me have the top berth, Percy,” she pleads ; 
“ you know how I love mountaineering.” 
“ Oh, very well. You may have it. Don’t take it if 
you don’t want it, or if you’d rather not. I should 
hate to seem selfish.” 
And so it goes on. Then in the morning, in spite 
of comic papers to the contrary, the husband has to 
have first go-in at the looking-glass and the washing 
apparatus, which makes the wife late for breakfast 
and everything is cold. 
Cecily and I shared a most comfortable cabin amid- 
