and at the same time, Dick Slocum, who 
married your sister Alice, five years ago, 
gave $250 for the cyclone sufferers. I 
think the angels laughed all that afternoon, 
my boy; but I don't think it was because 
Jack paid, $570 for his new buggy. If you 
want to shirk the responsibilities of life, 
my dear boy, you may; if you want to 
live forty or fifty years longer, with no one 
under the heavens to think about, or care 
for, or plan for but yourself, go ahead and 
do it. You will be the only los#. The 
world wont miss you nearly so much as 
you will miss the world. You will have a 
mean, lonely, selfish, easy time, and unless 
you are a rare exception to your class, lit¬ 
tle children will hate you, and the gods 
never yet loved any man whom the chil¬ 
dren disliked .—Burlington llaivkeye. 
True Words Well Said. 
A father talking to his careless daughter 
said: I want to speak to you of your moth¬ 
er. It may be that you have noticed a 
careworn look on her face lately. Of 
course it ha§, not been brought there by any 
act of yours, still it is your duty*to chase it 
away. I want you to get up to-morrow 
morning and get breakfast, and when your 
mother comes and begins to express her 
surprise, go right up to her and kiss her on 
the mouth. You can’t imagine how it will 
brighten her dear face. Besides, you owe 
her a kiss or two. Away back when you 
were a little girl, she kissed you when no 
one else was tempted by your fever-tainted 
breath and swollen face. You were not so 
attractive then as vou are now. And 
through those years of childish sunshine 
and shadows she was always ready to cure 
by the magic of a mother’s kiss, the little 
dirty, chubby hands whenever they were 
injured in those first skirmishes with this 
rough old world. And then the midnight 
kiss with which she routed so many bad 
dreams as she leaned over your restless pil¬ 
low, have all been on interest these long- 
years. Of course she is not so pretty and 
kissable as you are. but if you had done 
your share of the work during the last ten 
years, the contrast would not be so mark¬ 
ed. Her face has more wrinkles than 
yours—far more—and yet if you were sick 
that face would appear more beautiful 
than an angel’s as it hovered over you 
watching every opportunity to minister to 
your comfort, and every one of these 
wrinkles would seem to be bright wavelets 
of sunshine chasing each other over the 
dear face. She will leave you one of these 
days. These burdens, if not lifted from 
her shoulder, will break her down. Those 
rough, hard hands, that have done so many 
unnecessary things for you, will be crossed 
upon her lifeless breast. Those neglected 
lips that gave you your first baby kiss will 
be closed forever, and those sad, tired eyes 
will have opened in eternity, and then you 
will appreciate your mother, but it will be 
too late. 
There are many remedies advertised for 
the purpose, but the best way to make 
hens lay is to post up in the chicken house 
a notice that eggs are going down five cents 
a dozen eveiy day. 
A farmer who was boasting of his respect 
for map—for man pure and simple, was 
nonplussed by his wife's saying: '‘And yet 
3 'ou always count your cattle by the head, 
while vour hired servants are onlv your 
hands.” 
A lawyer in one of the Western courts 
lately threw a cane at another’s head. The 
court required him to apologize to it. He 
did so, and added, “While I am about it, I 
may as well apologize beforehand for throw¬ 
ing another cane at him the first chance I 
get.” 
The story is told of an American visiting 
Montreal, who gave the waiter a silver 
trade dollar as a fee. Shid the waiter: “Sir. 
did you intend to give me a dollar?” “I 
did.” “Well, sir, this coin is at a discount. 
1 Can only take it for ninety-two cents. 
Eight cents more, please.” 
Husband: “You are quite comfortable, 
dear?” Wife: “Yes. love.” “The cushions 
are easy and soft, ducky?” “You don't 
feel any jolts, pet?” “No, sweetest.” “And 
there is no draught on my lamb, is there, 
angel?” “No. mv ownest own." “Then 
i change seats with me.” 
