
          Again I am accomplishing less
 than a man ought to desire. Here
 I am in a state of pupillage as it
 were though never could it be more
 pleasant. But I think it has lasted
 too long & still I am only following
 the round of other men's labors.


 Could your African expedition materially
 improve my pecuniary circumstances -
 & give me a vantage ground
 among botanists without too much
 risk of life I would be glad to engage
 in it. No ones [crossed out: life] [inserted: hopes] & comfort
 depend on my life. Those who were
 dearest to me have "passed the flood."
 My father, more than 80, expects never
 to see me again, nor do I think he
 will, more than once. While I hope
 my loss would be widely regretted
 no one would grieve so intensely
 for me as for a brother or son
 stricken down in their midst.


 Our family is large but I am
 so separated from them that
        