44 
Butler—Phases of Witticism. 
After Bunker Hill, Franklin, closing a letter to an English 
correspondent, wrote: “We have been friends but now you are 
my enemy, and I am yours, B. Franklin. ” At the Declara¬ 
tion of Independence one signer said, “Now we must hang to¬ 
gether.” “If we do not”, added Franklin, “we shall hang separ¬ 
ate and that as high as Haman. “ An opponent of Pitt, seeing his 
likeness swinging on a sign-post exclaimed, “He hangs every¬ 
where, except on the gallows where he should hang. ” 
“If those girls, ” observed a camp-meeting preacher, “knew they 
had holes in their stockings they would not stand so high on 
the benches.” He meant the holes through which the stockings 
were put on. When a dull speaker asks, “ Have you read my last 
speech”, we are tempted to answer, we are not sure, but we hope 
so. A certain sort of hospitality makes drinkers say they were 
never treated so well, nor so often. When a crowd at Niag¬ 
ara were wondering at the waterfall, a wit said: The waterfall 
is no wonder; there’s nothing to hinder; it can’t help it. 
Needles are warranted not to cut in the eye: a wit will tell us, 
that is more than can be said for the users of them. A king 
sitting by a dish of peaches and pleased at the pleasantries of a 
wit, said to a page, “G-ive this dish to the wit!” The response 
was, “Does Your Majesty mean that I shall have the peaches too 
as well as the gold dish?” 
There is wit in detecting one point of resemblance, and often 
more in bringing to light a second, or third. The political platform 
was said by one wit to be like that of a railroad car, both be¬ 
ing something to get on by; “and also", added another, “be¬ 
cause neither of them is something to stand on. ” A third wit 
declared it equally hard to make men stand on one and stand off 
the other. 
Witticisms turn on many varieties of resemblance. A single 
point, and that so small that it has never been noticed, is so 
presented by a wit that it seems to prove much more than it 
does. 
The Catholic sacraments are seven, but Mr. Caudle declared 
they were only six, for he had found marriage and penance to be 
both one. Guiteau was compared to a crumb of bread which, 
